Compilations of Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Valerie Wants Revenge"1950s UK brother and sister rivalry
32 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
And well she should: "Valerie had been waiting for a chance to get even with her brother for tying the handle of the outhouse door to the coal bunker door handle while she was still sitting on the toilet."
safer that way: "Lizzie had thought what Reggie had done was hilarious, but she wouldn't dare say as much." This is a great foreshadowing : "Valerie peeped through the bushes, watching her brother and Trevor remove their clothes down to their underpants, before running into the river for a swim." Good use of regional dialect. A very good point: "His dad always said it hurt him more than it hurt Trevor, but Trevor couldn't quite understand that. Why do it if it hurt him? He always thought that was a stupid thing to say." this is excellent It could easily be continued into other adventures.A+
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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And well she should: "Valerie had been waiting for a chance to get even with her brother for tying the handle of the outhouse door to the coal bunker door handle while she was still sitting on the toilet."
safer that way: "Lizzie had thought what Reggie had done was hilarious, but she wouldn't dare say as much." This is a great foreshadowing : "Valerie peeped through the bushes, watching her brother and Trevor remove their clothes down to their underpants, before running into the river for a swim." Good use of regional dialect. A very good point: "His dad always said it hurt him more than it hurt Trevor, but Trevor couldn't quite understand that. Why do it if it hurt him? He always thought that was a stupid thing to say." this is excellent It could easily be continued into other adventures.A+
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Oh, Lizzie, you always give me the nicest of reviews, I love how you go through it like a teacher, and thank you for the A+ I can't remember if I ever had one of those when I went to school. I'm going back over 70 years when I was in the infants school. That was starting at 5 years old. So thank you so much! And a big hug for the sixth star. That was so kind of you. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
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You made imagine if you got an A+ or six stars from me you earned it
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A very good chapter, Sandra! I could just see the girls setting the boys up for the disaster, which ended up turning a different way than what they had planned. I also like the way you had both girls involved, but one more eager to do it than the other. I actually showed a difference in the characters. It was a nice touch.
Sorry I have no six for you. I lost count. I went to review it earlier and it wasn't available. I did enjoy it immensely. You are quite a gifted writer and I'm glad you're back to posting books!!
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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A very good chapter, Sandra! I could just see the girls setting the boys up for the disaster, which ended up turning a different way than what they had planned. I also like the way you had both girls involved, but one more eager to do it than the other. I actually showed a difference in the characters. It was a nice touch.
Sorry I have no six for you. I lost count. I went to review it earlier and it wasn't available. I did enjoy it immensely. You are quite a gifted writer and I'm glad you're back to posting books!!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much, dear Rhonda, for reading this chapter, and no worries about the six stars, I'm not chasing any top ratings for novels any more. I'll just enjoy what I'm writing, and read other writers work. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I love it, the girls wanted the boys to get into deep deep Doo Doo, and they were treated like victims, mind you, sibling love isn't always lovey Dovey, it's always about revenge,,mind you It!s really the way it is, well done, blessings dear Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo ; back behind the (clothes) bushes?
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Heh heh, I love it, the girls wanted the boys to get into deep deep Doo Doo, and they were treated like victims, mind you, sibling love isn't always lovey Dovey, it's always about revenge,,mind you It!s really the way it is, well done, blessings dear Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo ; back behind the (clothes) bushes?
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, dear Roy! I think that happened when I was editing it. I'm so pleased you picked it up, no one else did! When my brother Kelvin (not Ian) and I were young, we were best pals, but we often played pranks on each other. That is siblings for you! Lol.
Thank you for the wonderful review, my dear friend. Love you lots my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, good writing. I think I'm getting used to the country dialect. This feels like a young adult mixed with children's type of story. It is light and not too heavy for the readers.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Hmm, good writing. I think I'm getting used to the country dialect. This feels like a young adult mixed with children's type of story. It is light and not too heavy for the readers.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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It does take a while to get used to it, Lance, but I'm glad you've managed to get used to it. Thank you for this kind review, my friend. Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!!! Having raised four boys, I couldn't honestly see this happening. They do get themselves into interesting predicaments. Of course, if they hadn't played the first joke none of this would have happened. I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Oh my!!! Having raised four boys, I couldn't honestly see this happening. They do get themselves into interesting predicaments. Of course, if they hadn't played the first joke none of this would have happened. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Thank you for reading this one as well, dear Barbara, I'm getting feed back from some male readers about how these stories are bringing back memories of their mischievous pranks, some are hilarious. Thank you for the golden sixth star! Warmest hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is a great chapter, Sandra. This has a domino effect that neither girl expected, and they managed to stay quiet about it. I love the Mrs. Stanstead character.
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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This is a great chapter, Sandra. This has a domino effect that neither girl expected, and they managed to stay quiet about it. I love the Mrs. Stanstead character.
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2024
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Thank you, John, sorry to have taken so long, it was Mother's Day here in the UK yesterday, and I was treated like a queen for the day by my sons and grandchildren.
There was always a Mrs Stanstead in villages. Nosey parkers! I'm glad you liked her, lol, Thanks for the lovely review, my friend. Warmest hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ric Myworld
What I love most about your writing is how it takes me to another place in time, usually relatable times. It was early September, 90 degrees in the shade. Having competed with fellow cutters in the tobacco field since just past sun up: we moseyed down, dove in the river, and raced to swim its width. Halfway across, arms heavy, and legs weakened and cramping, it didn't seem like such a great place to drown, but seemed likely. We made the other side, barely enough energy to climb out and upon bank. We sat naked, appraising the possibility of swimming back to our clothes, but afraid to try. An hour passed, sun going down, and little hope of making it home for supper or even by morning from such a remote area. Then, an old John boat with a husband and wife came sputtering down the river. The man waved. We waved back. The man eased the throttle back to idle, and said, "Hey, young men, are you okay?" I replied, "Yes, sir, we're fine, but we swam across the river and are afraid we can't make it back to our clothes. He started laughing and clapping his hands. I didn't think it was a damn bit funny. He eased over to the bank and told us to climb in carefully. But bare-bottomed and his wife in the boat, we just sat. Then, the man said, "Come on boys, you don't have anything she hasn't seen before with me and three sons. Jump up and get your butts in, I don't have all night." "Saved by the bell, as the saying goes." Thanks for sharing, and I apologize for taking up you time with my rambling.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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What I love most about your writing is how it takes me to another place in time, usually relatable times. It was early September, 90 degrees in the shade. Having competed with fellow cutters in the tobacco field since just past sun up: we moseyed down, dove in the river, and raced to swim its width. Halfway across, arms heavy, and legs weakened and cramping, it didn't seem like such a great place to drown, but seemed likely. We made the other side, barely enough energy to climb out and upon bank. We sat naked, appraising the possibility of swimming back to our clothes, but afraid to try. An hour passed, sun going down, and little hope of making it home for supper or even by morning from such a remote area. Then, an old John boat with a husband and wife came sputtering down the river. The man waved. We waved back. The man eased the throttle back to idle, and said, "Hey, young men, are you okay?" I replied, "Yes, sir, we're fine, but we swam across the river and are afraid we can't make it back to our clothes. He started laughing and clapping his hands. I didn't think it was a damn bit funny. He eased over to the bank and told us to climb in carefully. But bare-bottomed and his wife in the boat, we just sat. Then, the man said, "Come on boys, you don't have anything she hasn't seen before with me and three sons. Jump up and get your butts in, I don't have all night." "Saved by the bell, as the saying goes." Thanks for sharing, and I apologize for taking up you time with my rambling.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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You never take up my time, I love your memories. That one was hilarious. I did at least leave Reggie and Trevor with their pants on. LOL!! Thank you, my friend, I really enjoyed your story. Love you lots, Sandra xx
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You always make me want to give you a great big hug! But tell the hubby it's innocent from 4,000 miles away. You're just so loveable!
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Lol, I'll tell him, one day! 🥰🥰xx
Comment from Mrs. KT
Wishing my father was still alive, Sandra! How he would absolutely love your story, just as I do!
I could visualize the entire scenario playing out from beginning to end, although for a moment I did think that the girls would make it to the church, and come back with the bikes and innocently "fib" that they had found everything at the cemetery!
I enjoyed every morsel of your delightful story!
Thank you for the smile!
Fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Wishing my father was still alive, Sandra! How he would absolutely love your story, just as I do!
I could visualize the entire scenario playing out from beginning to end, although for a moment I did think that the girls would make it to the church, and come back with the bikes and innocently "fib" that they had found everything at the cemetery!
I enjoyed every morsel of your delightful story!
Thank you for the smile!
Fondly,
diane
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Oh, how I wish my mum and dad were still alive. They never saw any of my work, or my published novels. That's one regret I have, not doing it earlier. I'm so pleased to think you father would enjoy my story, thanks so much for that. And thank you for the sixth golden star, my friend, and your fabulous review. I'm glad I made you smile. :)) Warmest hugs, Sandra xxx
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My pleasure, Sandra
My parents knew a little of my writing, but most of it has been written since their passings...
Here's to a beautiful new week!
diane
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Absolutely! I'm hoping for a little sunshine. 😊xx
Comment from Begin Again
My favorite writer has hit a home run as always. I love the setting, the accents, and the tom foolery, of course. Just awesome! I love the sibling rivalry and how Valerie struggles to come out of top, but things seem to backfire, leaving her brother the winner.
Love it!
Smiles, hugs and love..
Carol
One question... nothing on you, but could you explain this to me. I think I'm getting senile. Sorry to ask....
Keeping their eyes on the lads messing around in the water, they moved quietly over to where they'd left their clothes. Quickly grabbing them, but leaving the boys' shoes, they moved back behind the clothes. However, she was wise enough to know if she did that, she would feel the slipper on her bum.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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My favorite writer has hit a home run as always. I love the setting, the accents, and the tom foolery, of course. Just awesome! I love the sibling rivalry and how Valerie struggles to come out of top, but things seem to backfire, leaving her brother the winner.
Love it!
Smiles, hugs and love..
Carol
One question... nothing on you, but could you explain this to me. I think I'm getting senile. Sorry to ask....
Keeping their eyes on the lads messing around in the water, they moved quietly over to where they'd left their clothes. Quickly grabbing them, but leaving the boys' shoes, they moved back behind the clothes. However, she was wise enough to know if she did that, she would feel the slipper on her bum.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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I'm having one of those days, Carol. I had changed that sentence and forgot to delete the original part. Thank you for catching that. I've deleted it now. 😂🥰xxx
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No apologies to me. I was almost afraid to mention it because I get things so messed up at times. No problem at all.
Love ya, Carol
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Never be afraid to mention my booboos, Carol! I'm grateful you did!!! 🥰xxx
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Smiles and hugs!
Comment from patcelaw
The writing in this chapter is wonderful. The story moves along quite well and your sentence structure and your paragraph is perfect. I wish you the very best with your writing. Patricia
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reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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The writing in this chapter is wonderful. The story moves along quite well and your sentence structure and your paragraph is perfect. I wish you the very best with your writing. Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Patricia, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. One left to go. Warmest hugs, Sandra xx