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Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Willing Hearts Chapter 5 B"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

32 total reviews 
Comment from Douglas Goff
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sorry. Have to give you another sixer. This piece deserves it.

When Matt went in alone, I was going to gig you (not LEO appropriate) but then you had backup outside, so it was all good.

This book has legs, my friend.
D

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement. I always admire your action so coming from you, I feel blessed.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sani seems angry with Noah but she knows now he is on her side and trying to protect her. I'm pretty sure she'll get past that since that is the kind of stories you write. I hope they rescue Myra before the try to sell her or whatever they do.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Sami will calm down. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm lucky if I can do more than a chapter a month! Whenever I tell myself I can write a novel, all I have to do is read your work and see all the effort you put into it. Just to prove I read the whole thing, my eye, which hardly ever catches my own typos, found one hiccup:
"I'm the girl Chen want's back, aren't I?" No need for apostrophe in "wants". Boy, you really have to nitpick to get anything on you! Great work!

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    That's a very embarrassing error. Thank you for the catch. I always appreciate help. This novel is complete. I just edit it daily right now. I am writing another one.
reply by jim vecchio on 07-Mar-2024
    I always feel a bit of guilt mentioning those things, because I'm the Master of Typos.
reply by jim vecchio on 07-Mar-2024
    Can't wait to read it! Hope I have some sixes ready!
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is a beautifully written chapter in your book. I appreciate it very much. Your son structure your paragraphing and your offer for all presentation is beautiful. Have a good evening and God bless. Patricia .

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hopefully Sami will come to realize that Noah has her best interests at heart. Her sense of adventure and independence could get her badly hurt. He is skilled at what he does, she is probably in way over her ability to comprehend and deal with all the possibilities of dealing with a ruthless and hard hearted criminal like Chen.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Sami is clueless but will come to understand. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to the next chapter. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Finally, it seems that Sami realizes the huge danger she was in. Hopefully, Noah will win her over but she's a tough one. It's good that she overheard everything and hopefully, she'll have information to help rescue Myra.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    I hope she does. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fast-paced chapter cleverly conveyed with excellent dialogue and interaction. Things are really heating up and Sami is in great demand, proving Noah right to be so protective of her. Exciting stuff, Barbara! Well done ! Debbie

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I thought you did a great job with this chapter. The action was fast, furious, and the tension just exploded off the page. The dialogue was real crisp, especially that scene between Chen and the undercover officer. The danger makes our hearts pound. You put us in the middle of the action and spun our heads there. We also get this heavy tension between Sami and Noah. She keeps wanting to get out from under his wing and he keeps her pinned there. But they are both on the same side. This was real visual, highly polished and would make a great tv script. estory

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a short chapter, and the pace matched the length. However, it seemed slightly muddled in parts. For example Sami said she was cooking essentially for Sarah and Jose, but they were elsewhere, in the cabin. I would read it through again and try to tighten up the physical movements of characters. kay

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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    They will all eat together. They're not going to have separate meals. Thank you for the kind review.