Archie, The Grumpy Whale
Love on the high seas.37 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Very much enjoyed, Stu!
Wishing my father was still alive as he so loved rollicking story poems especially those that had to do with sailors and the seas.
You paint wonderful imagery, and I loved the diction as well!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Very much enjoyed, Stu!
Wishing my father was still alive as he so loved rollicking story poems especially those that had to do with sailors and the seas.
You paint wonderful imagery, and I loved the diction as well!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much....these are really scribbled out on a legal pad....not much pure poetry....But Yikes....I was in the Infantry..HAHA
Best Wishes to you and yours....Stu Harrell
Comment from Jodi Ann Anderson
This is a nice, fun poem. I love the slang words in there too! it's not often you read about whales on a poem. Great job with this! I will have to check out your other poems!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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This is a nice, fun poem. I love the slang words in there too! it's not often you read about whales on a poem. Great job with this! I will have to check out your other poems!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much....most of my stuff is like this,...a sort of rabble babble swirled out on a legal pad....Lots of fun for the old guy....Best Wishes to you and yours....Stu Harrell
Comment from royowen
The place from where all ballads come from, from the fertile grounds of the active minds of imaginative people, but who are skilled wordsmiths, as you are Sue, written in the generally metered style of the ballad, well done, n
Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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The place from where all ballads come from, from the fertile grounds of the active minds of imaginative people, but who are skilled wordsmiths, as you are Sue, written in the generally metered style of the ballad, well done, n
Blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
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Yo Brother ...Yikes...I miss you....here still scribbling my silly verses....Thanks to you and Dolly et al....for setting the standards.....Best Wishes....Stu Harrell
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Well done
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed this creative story about Archie, the grumpy whale, and the rhythmic flow of your well chosen words as the story unfolds. Archie put up a good fight for his love and your team toast his valor each year. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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I enjoyed this creative story about Archie, the grumpy whale, and the rhythmic flow of your well chosen words as the story unfolds. Archie put up a good fight for his love and your team toast his valor each year. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much...these are fun to tickle together,,,,admittedly a little ragged...
Best to you and yours...Stu Harrell
Comment from SimianSavant
Charleston town <= in South Carolina there is a place called Old Charlestowne Landing (the original point of landing, actually, and last I visited there was a wildlife estuary there, among other things). "Old Charlestowne" might be a smoother rendering.
The lilt I'm getting from your piece is that of a sea ballad (a song rather than a conventionally metered piece of poetry), so while normally I would go on a bit about the consistency of your meter, some allowance is in order for your piece. One line does seem to have a LOT of syllables (Yummy crabs,corny cobs and chubby taters) so if you adjust one line down a bit, I would chose that one.
Hope you set this to music, as it would add a lot of character to your piece. I'd be able to comment a lot more on it if you do. Thanks for the read!
Best regards,
Harambe (for President)
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Charleston town <= in South Carolina there is a place called Old Charlestowne Landing (the original point of landing, actually, and last I visited there was a wildlife estuary there, among other things). "Old Charlestowne" might be a smoother rendering.
The lilt I'm getting from your piece is that of a sea ballad (a song rather than a conventionally metered piece of poetry), so while normally I would go on a bit about the consistency of your meter, some allowance is in order for your piece. One line does seem to have a LOT of syllables (Yummy crabs,corny cobs and chubby taters) so if you adjust one line down a bit, I would chose that one.
Hope you set this to music, as it would add a lot of character to your piece. I'd be able to comment a lot more on it if you do. Thanks for the read!
Best regards,
Harambe (for President)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much for the historical notes...very cool...you are right..these are a little thrown together...I was humming...:Orange and the Green by the Irish Rovers when I wrote this which gave it a sort of sing song, chip chop texture..also I fumbled with the taters line which was admittedly long bongy...
What I get from Fan Story is a deadline and a date of composition..not a pure poet...notice most of the entries are more artistic....
Godspeed to you and yours.....Stu Harrell
Comment from mermaids
Love this poem! You have developed a great character here. I can see Archie clearly and I am glad he received some good stew. Excellent poetic form and use of words that tells a whale tale, like a mini movie. Your words are also fun to read out loud.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Love this poem! You have developed a great character here. I can see Archie clearly and I am glad he received some good stew. Excellent poetic form and use of words that tells a whale tale, like a mini movie. Your words are also fun to read out loud.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much....these little scribbles are fun to stitch together.....I wear out the legal pad and just hit submit!
Godspeed to you and yours.....Stu Harrell
Comment from Lisasview
Good morning dear Stu,
First read of yours and I did enjoy it... I also read your bio... always interesting facts in bios... We recently moved from California to Spain and we are loving it.
I think your free Verse poem about a Archie is really quite good and I do wish you the very best of luck in the contest,
Lisasview
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Good morning dear Stu,
First read of yours and I did enjoy it... I also read your bio... always interesting facts in bios... We recently moved from California to Spain and we are loving it.
I think your free Verse poem about a Archie is really quite good and I do wish you the very best of luck in the contest,
Lisasview
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thanks so very much....seems like great new adventure for you....Great stuff....these little poems are scramble bramble verse but fun to scribble together....Godspeed to you and yours Stu Harrell
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I often spend hours writing poem to get it just right... Especially Sonnets... But then I write a poem Like Sounds of War in 10 minutes (Won first place for that last week.)
Lisa
Comment from Kaiku
Hey whale man. A fun story from an infantry soldier. Didn´t know that a foot soldier even knew what the sea had to offer. Haha, just kidding of course. Hope all is well.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Hey whale man. A fun story from an infantry soldier. Didn´t know that a foot soldier even knew what the sea had to offer. Haha, just kidding of course. Hope all is well.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Yo Brother....great to hear from you...grew up with little silly verses.....Godspeed.....Air/Cav Airborne.....Stu Harrell
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nice
Comment from bob cullen
Firstly Stu, an expression of gratitude and appreciation for your service in Vietnam. I was fortunate enough to miss National Service in Australia in '68 otherwise I too could have been sent there to fight. Enough about that.
Loved the story about Archie. It flowed as good poetry should and provided a really good read. I look forward to reading more of your work. Sorry, fresh out of sixes.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Firstly Stu, an expression of gratitude and appreciation for your service in Vietnam. I was fortunate enough to miss National Service in Australia in '68 otherwise I too could have been sent there to fight. Enough about that.
Loved the story about Archie. It flowed as good poetry should and provided a really good read. I look forward to reading more of your work. Sorry, fresh out of sixes.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Yo Brother....God Bless the Aussies....served with some in RVN..very solid troops..we were attached to 1st Infantry....they teased us....calling us "The Queen's Own First Foot "...great stuff....played dice to win a bush hat ...always lost...Hmm...trying to figure out Rugby League and Rugby Union....place a little ten spot here and there....always wrong but never in doubt!....These little poems are fun....not sure where they fit....but "I am old and easily amused"......Godspeed to you and yours......Stu Harrell
Comment from teafor2
Stu, when I first started reading this, I said oh, no, not one of those angry
sea animal stories...You know, "...we gonna need a bigger boat!" At worst kin to Moby-Dick...Glad this story had a different turn out. Great rhyming
uplifting seafaring story. Good luck in the contest. teafor2
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Stu, when I first started reading this, I said oh, no, not one of those angry
sea animal stories...You know, "...we gonna need a bigger boat!" At worst kin to Moby-Dick...Glad this story had a different turn out. Great rhyming
uplifting seafaring story. Good luck in the contest. teafor2
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much...these are obviously mishmash kid tales....not sure where they fit in but lots of fun to scribble up....Good luck to you and yours.....Stu Harrell