Reviews from

Life, Death, Up, Down

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "everybody dies"
short stories

36 total reviews 
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's easy to understand how your own life experiences have helped to create this graphic picture of the difficulties faced by teachers in these circumstances. A compelling read. As an ex-teacher, I couldn't help wondering how I would have coped. Not very well, I'm afraid.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

"What is the subject of the sentence?"

"If you don't know, Mis-Ter A, how should I?"

~~ I've known far too many kids like this -- your story is exceptionally in-tune.

Oh, my... This--

"Can I know God? Does He...Does He care for me?"

"The Lord cares about everyone, Sabrina. Even when they fail Him, though it hurts Him greatly,"

How sweet! How sad, what followed...

Exceptional pacing, vibrant description, believable characters, and outstanding plot.

I will let my rating say the rest... Except for this -- I am concerned because this contest calls for humor, according to the listing for it. Your story is anything but, IMHO.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
    Thank you! I relied upon the student's remarks to supply the humor. Anyhow, I write to teach
    myself the craft, not for awards. Tomorrow I will post 2 small items and Wednesday, for my 300th Post, a love story!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I have a friend, (96 years old) who was a teacher in the East End of London, and she had a class like this. They soon found out who was boss, LOL
I enjoyed this story Jim for many different reasons. It is a sad indictment of society.there Good luck in the contest
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Excellent
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It takes a special teacher to teach the misdirected kids. We had a teacher in my school that all the kids would get sent to her by other teachers. She was looked highly by everyone who got sent to her room. The teachers would send work with teach student to take to her room. She'd help them do it, talk about life, etc. I invited her to my wedding when I got married. She couldn't make it but she sent me a very nice gift and she'll hold a very special spot in my heart. You could always tell she cared about each and every one of her students that she grew to know. And not every teacher can say that.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Thanks for sharing this. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Thanks for sharing this brave teacher's response to a class full of disrespectful kids like the ones pur teachers are faced with today. We pray for teachers like these in our grandmothers' prayer group. I Sabrina was found in time and the sobering truth about valuing life hits the kids. Great job with this storytelling!

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Daylily
Excellent
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I could never be a teacher with the disrespect a lot of kids have now for adults and getting an education. You have clearly described many of their attitudes. Fortunately, some kids do well and they are the ones who have one or more supportive parents that give direction and set positive examples.

If parents do not care where their children are or what they are doing they will never appreciated the meaning of goodness.

I think, in this sentence, you might have meant: buried her head in her hands instead of Sabrina spent the rest of the day with her hands buried in her head, sobbing. Best wishes in the contest, Jim!

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much! I will fix that error! Tomorrow I will post 2 small items and Wednesday, for my 300th Post, a love story!
reply by Daylily on 12-Feb-2024
    Way to go!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
    I don't know if you'll care for my love story, but just in case, Tuesday I'll post a short silly story for a contest!
Comment from mermaids
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your story is gritty and real but what I am impressed with the most, is the part about God. Praying with a student is forbidden here and probably true to life. Your story held my interest and the reader feels sympathy for the teacher and the girl he ministers to. Excellent dialog and i would also think of your story as a good example of Christian fiction.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This is good, very good and very close to a perfect six. Kids do behave like that. I had a seventh grade English class with 23 boys and 7 girls. A boy jerked my skirt down to my knees and 3 if the seven girls were pregnant by end of the year. Unruly was their default behavior and this wa 54 years ago. I hope you did not have this class you describe. It's tough to face them in the morning. I don't think I would have given them the choice of them or me at the end. I would demand they consider growing up into the dumbest humans possible or chose to make their life better. You also have a reversal: . . . hands buried in her head."

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I fixed that mess up. Thanks! Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Unfortunately, this is the way many inner cities schools are, and nothing is done about them. I taught first grade at a ghetto school. Because the children were young, I didn't have severe problems but still had problems.

Roberto, who had been seated next to Julio said, (seated beside Julio)



 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    You ALWAYS help me so much!
    Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an excellent story and presentation. It is full of colorful imagery, descriptions, and dialogue. The photo image and video support your story well. Some of this was too close for comfort because of the kinds of students that I often had in the past. Thank you for sharing this! Many will enjoy it as I did.

Best wishes, friend!

Alexan :)

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.