Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Love this poem and the alliteration in each line. Also, I hear your artist-self come through with the analysis of the "motifs" of the starlings' formation. All those flocking birds are so fun to watch! Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you Helen. You writing about these birds got me interested enought to look them up. I found they are natives of Europe but someone brought over a 100 and released them in New York and now they are everywhere. I saw some yesterday over Chattanooga. They are considered predatory. and the city is trying to curb the population. They can be dangerous around airport since they have caused airline crashes. I'm glad you like my haiku.
Beth

reply by lyenochka on 30-Nov-2023

Yes, it's scary what birds can do to airplanes! And these are not non-native species that took over the whole country!

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

This is great a really excellent example of the haiku! You've got a gorgeous picture with a lovely background. Make your text down doubt really well. Very well constructive and pretty indeed it's quite like it. I hope you have the best night!

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you Lea. I really appreciate the nice review and comments.
Beth

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Exceptional

This Haiku is almost perfect. I see your using of alliteration in each line. I see personification and metaphor and assonant used in this poem. It's a winner

Excellent and good luck.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm so glad you liked this and I really appreciat the six stars.
Beth

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Excellent artwork and presentation for your short poem.
Murmurization is a fascinating phenomenon.
Lovely alliteration in each line.

Well done.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you Janet. I really appreciate the review and comments.
Beth

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

These guys are interesting. Just to watch them can be fascination. Good entry great photo. I see nothing wrong. Hope you do well in the contest. Good one, Beth.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you, Chuck. I saw them over Chattanooga yesterday. The city is trying to curb their populations because there are too many of them and they can be dangerous. Especially for jet flights taking off.
Beth

reply by Ben Colder on 30-Nov-2023

Makes sense.

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

Well, well, well, this is quite a stunning Haiku, Beth.

You seemed to have some alliteration in each sentence so would this also be considered an Alliteration poem?

I like what you did here
D

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thanks again Douglas. I did alliteration on the lines since it wasn't suppose to br rhymed and wanted to something to make it sound a litttle like poetry.
Beth

Comment from Navada

Excellent

I really enjoyed your structure for this lovely haiku and particularly enjoyed your alliteration in each line. The visual image captures the implicit freedom and beauty of the flock as it whirls through the sky. Thank you for sharing this and good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023

Thank you so much for the review and comments. These birds of natives of Europe but they were introduced to the states in 1890 and now they are everywhere. I'm glad you liked my haiku.
Beth

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

Nice alliterations in each line - beautiful presentation - a great subject that I've seen written about before on this site. Isn't it starlings that make these formations?

Good luck in the contest, Beth.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023

Thanks Pam. I think one or the writing clubs had that as a challenge. I saw some flying yesterday. I should have chosen a different subject but they were on my mind. Yes Starlings. I named it Starlings in Formation.

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 29-Nov-2023

Oh, sorry, I didn't even notice the title! Duh!!

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Very nice haiku! I'd read Debbie's poem about murmuration and had to spend a bit of time looking at the fascinating formations these starlings make! I found a great video of them on YouTube! I'm guessing this might have been a theme in one of the clubs.... but no matter, because you've given it quite an alliterative haiku spin. They are fascinating, aren't they?

Karenina

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023

Thank you Karenina. I think it was club challenge. I don't remember Debbie's poem, but I remember Helen's and I had to look up the word murmuration because I didn't what it was called. I saw some of these birds yesterday doing their disigns over a shoping area.
Beth

reply by karenina on 29-Nov-2023

REALLY? I've never seen it live! I'd love it though! I just now read another poem that included "murmuration" within its lines. It's amazing!

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023

They are natives of Europe but !00 of them were set free in New York in 1890. Now they are all over the US and South America. They are considered an invasive species and Chattanooga is where I live is try to curb their spread. I never saw them until I moved here.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Incredible photo and amazing how hundreds of birds in formation fly and turn one way or the other and no one gets bumped and falls from the sky. They're incredible as is your poem. I like how you used words beginning with the same letter (f, a, m) I know it's called something in poetry but it eludes me.

Well presented.
John

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023

Thank you John. I appreciate the review. It is called alliteration.