Something In The Air, That Night
Amarga Navidad26 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you put this in historical context. I'm not sure which revolution this is but I like how you show the friends' deep commitment to their other friend and that they are willing to die. But it's sad that they cannot see that the Prince of Peace came to die for them so they do not have to carry out vengeance for themselves. This is a unique Christmas story. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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I like how you put this in historical context. I'm not sure which revolution this is but I like how you show the friends' deep commitment to their other friend and that they are willing to die. But it's sad that they cannot see that the Prince of Peace came to die for them so they do not have to carry out vengeance for themselves. This is a unique Christmas story. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
I guess when you're young and foolhardy, like I once was, you have to learn your lessons the hard way!
Comment from eliz100
This is an excellent story. There is a saying old vets do not die they just fade away. It seems to fit your story. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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This is an excellent story. There is a saying old vets do not die they just fade away. It seems to fit your story. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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I appreciate your very kind words!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A very interesting story, Jim. It's unique, to me at least, and interesting.
You have two older men who experienced battle together, a battle they ultimately lost, but were proud to be a part of.
Interesting story, great presentation!
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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A very interesting story, Jim. It's unique, to me at least, and interesting.
You have two older men who experienced battle together, a battle they ultimately lost, but were proud to be a part of.
Interesting story, great presentation!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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I am sorry. Something funny happened! I wrote a nice, long reply, then it flashed off screen. I can't redo what I said, but I'm very grateful to you
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That?s happened to me before, too. It?s awfully frustrating. You?re welcome for the review, my friend!
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Many thanks and keep writing!
Comment from Norm Valentine
Excellent story! Where did this come from? Strictly fiction, or is this a flashback from something in your past?
Either way, it has a subtle side to it suggesting that whatever happened is something I would like to know more about.
Like the line "singing softly so only the wind could hear".
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Excellent story! Where did this come from? Strictly fiction, or is this a flashback from something in your past?
Either way, it has a subtle side to it suggesting that whatever happened is something I would like to know more about.
Like the line "singing softly so only the wind could hear".
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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In my college days, just before the days of Caesar Augustus, this song used to flash on the car radio during road trips. I did a tiny amount of research and tried not to add to much to what was said in the song.
Comment from Paul Manton
Well done Jim. I was singing the Abba song early in this account. Some footnotes wouldn't go amiss though, to educate the great unwashed.
The story is very heroic - the betrayals very dramatic, and the result not at all majestic. This is a sad story, even as sung by the Swedish girls and boys.
Nicely brought to life, Jim, related in the first person very successfully.
¡Muchas gracias, mi amigo! ¡Vamanos! Paul
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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Well done Jim. I was singing the Abba song early in this account. Some footnotes wouldn't go amiss though, to educate the great unwashed.
The story is very heroic - the betrayals very dramatic, and the result not at all majestic. This is a sad story, even as sung by the Swedish girls and boys.
Nicely brought to life, Jim, related in the first person very successfully.
¡Muchas gracias, mi amigo! ¡Vamanos! Paul
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Many Thanks! By the way, I replaced the song with a version from tht great institution, the BBC!
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Well done!
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Thank you! I was helped by the BBC!
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Reliable as always!
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Of course, I thought BBC was the Better Business Company!
Only kidding!
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Of course.
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I don't always do so, but I LOVE writing in first person so I could do all the things I could never do in reality. To name a few, I've been a prizefighter, newspaperman, a gigolo, a space hero, Audie Murphy's pal, Huntz Hall's pal, a Mexican freedom fighter, and if I could have spelled raspberry, there would be lots more!
Comment from BethShelby
Are we talking about a battle that occured in 1912 in Mexico? At the beginning you say "We were young" and near the end you talk about being old. I might missed something to do with the passage of time. When I saw the the title Something in air that night and later you spoke of Fernando, I was hoping you play the song "Fernando" which is one of my favorite songs. Nicely written. Good luck in the Christmas story contest.
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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Are we talking about a battle that occured in 1912 in Mexico? At the beginning you say "We were young" and near the end you talk about being old. I might missed something to do with the passage of time. When I saw the the title Something in air that night and later you spoke of Fernando, I was hoping you play the song "Fernando" which is one of my favorite songs. Nicely written. Good luck in the Christmas story contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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The Revolution spoken of began in 1910. I figured the characters would become embroiled in it a couple of years later. The story, like the song, is about the two friends meeting many years afterward and talking about old times.