Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

This is a fabulous poem. It reminds me of other forms where the tercets are composed of a rhyming couplet and the third shorter line connects the whole poem together and you did this beautifully to give tribute to Ian. Sandra will be so blessed. Thank you, Rhonda!

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Hi Helen, thank you so much for the review and comments. I read a lot of poetry and I enjoy it, so I reflected on some form or other. Not sure if it has a name, but I did make sure it rhymed and the syllable count was even, lol.

I do hope it blesses Sandra. She's a sweetheart!
Thanks again for the positive review.

Love and hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Your feelings of empathy and encouragement come through. That's want makes poetry, poetry. You've captured the life of Ian in a few short words, but ones that show his heart and soul.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Thank you so much for your review, Debi! I'm so glad the intent of the poem came through. I know she must be hurting, and it has to help to read the supportive poems and prose she's getting in this book. I was glad to contribute,
Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Rhonda, I wish I had six stars to give you for this heart felt poem to and about Ian. I love reading heart felt poems more than any other kind. I bet Sandra will really love this! love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Oh, Teri, that is so sweet. I'll take a virtual 6 any time. I'm glad the intent of my message came through, and that you could tell it came from the heart.
Love and hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This is beautiful, Rhonda! And clearly your heart is there as well as your skill. It's simply and sincerely expressed (the best kind of verse in my opinion) and I'm sure it will be a great comfort to Sandra, to whom I send my condolences. Thanks for sharing. Debbie x

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Thank you for your lovely review, Debbie! I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings, and it just seemed to flow better as a poem. So, I sort of invented my own form and went with it.

My condolences to her as well,
Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Terry Broxson

Exceptional

Rhonda, this is a wonderfully written tribute to Sanda's brother. I love the way to expressed his challenges and the way you expressed how he met them. Exceptional. Terry.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Thank you for the six stars, Terry. Thank you for your comments as well. It is hard to write for someone you don't know, but we all understand suffering, and we all understand loss. That's what I tried to focus on.

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by Terry Broxson on 16-Nov-2023

Very well done!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Your heart rang through this beautiful poem for Sandra and her family. I know Sandra and her family feel the prayers and the love lifted up from this wonderful FanStory family.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Thank you so much for reviewing, Barbara. Writing outside one's comfort zone is difficult, but I wanted it as a poem.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

This is very beautifully, and well written! Your perfectly chosen words celebrate the good fight someone has when they fight illness. I've fought MS for over 30 years, so I can relate to the fight. Thankfully, my MS is remitting and not terminal but it has blinded and crippled me between remissions. I think Sandra will be comforted by your very positive perspective of her brother, Ian's fight.

Thank you for sharing this,

Alex

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 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Hi Alex,
Thank you for your thoughtful response to the poem. I have had times in my life where I suffered. I had a series of 8 operations in two years, and many long days in the hospital in pain they couldn't really do much for. Until a person has suffered, I'm not sure if they understand suffering. I didn't. I mean, yes, at one level, but when you have, you go to a deeper level. I felt that in your review.
I'm glad you're remitting, and I'm glad it's not terminal, but I understand how you can relate to the poem.

Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

Nice artwork and good poem to go with it, Rhonda. I like how you present it by reversing the title at the end, and the refrain at the end of each verse. It is a very touching poem that came from your heart to Sandra's. She will love this because you capture the spirit of someone you haven't met. I found it very touching, as well.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023

Hi Pam, thank you for the review. You know how nervous I am with poems, and am so grateful for your input and commentary. I didn't know Ian, but I know Sandra and I know this hurts. Thank you for saying you were touched!!

Thanks,
Rhonda

reply by Pam (respa) on 17-Nov-2023

You are very welcome, Rhonda. I am more nervous with prose!! I didn't know Ian, either, but I agree that it hurts and takes a while to get to a better place within your heart.