Date Night
A story you can really get your teeth into!32 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You did a great job with this story. The dialogue was perfectly clear as to who was talking, and their emotions changed as night drew nearer and her story became more unbelievable. I am assuming he is now a hewolf, and that she didn't have him for dinner. At least now they are a perfectly matched set of werewolves.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
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You did a great job with this story. The dialogue was perfectly clear as to who was talking, and their emotions changed as night drew nearer and her story became more unbelievable. I am assuming he is now a hewolf, and that she didn't have him for dinner. At least now they are a perfectly matched set of werewolves.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for the six stars! xx
Comment from créateur d'histoire
Excellent job! I loved the humor and skepticism of the date. There were so many great lines but I think my favorite was" plenty of girls have tried to wiggle out of date but they at least gave me a believable excuse. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Excellent job! I loved the humor and skepticism of the date. There were so many great lines but I think my favorite was" plenty of girls have tried to wiggle out of date but they at least gave me a believable excuse. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Neonewman
I could follow this just fine; I can see where the guy would feel like he was being played; however, I don't think I would have stayed for the whole story if I were him. I mean, it's hard to make up a believable story on the fly. I feel concerned for this young man's future.
I enjoyed the read and wish you the best in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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I could follow this just fine; I can see where the guy would feel like he was being played; however, I don't think I would have stayed for the whole story if I were him. I mean, it's hard to make up a believable story on the fly. I feel concerned for this young man's future.
I enjoyed the read and wish you the best in the contest.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Steve!
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My pleasure.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I think this is brilliantly done. I haven't got a six but it's a virtual one from me. You've used dialogue so effectively. In fact, you're an absolute natural at using this device because the story moved along with pace and intrigue, as well, of course, as building character and credibility. Oh dear, he didn't leave in time, though, did he? Great ending and a strong contender! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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I think this is brilliantly done. I haven't got a six but it's a virtual one from me. You've used dialogue so effectively. In fact, you're an absolute natural at using this device because the story moved along with pace and intrigue, as well, of course, as building character and credibility. Oh dear, he didn't leave in time, though, did he? Great ending and a strong contender! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for your lovely feedback, Debbie - greatly appreciated! xx
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You're most welcome. A pleasure.
Comment from RaynaHarleenQuinns
The Narrative is hilariously and I'm happy you kept it too dialogue.
You also did a very good job with the cliffhanger. I'm hoping you have a good showing in the contest I made
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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The Narrative is hilariously and I'm happy you kept it too dialogue.
You also did a very good job with the cliffhanger. I'm hoping you have a good showing in the contest I made
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, and thank you for providing a really interesting and stimulating prompt for us to get our teeth into! :)
Comment from Terry Broxson
I think your dialogue is excellent, and you moved the storyline along very well. You might consider a few action tags with the dialogue.
Also, think about adding a setting. Where were they having the conversation? Were they in a car, a restaurant, or on the street when she began to change?
Your reader would envision the story a little better. Overall nicely done. Good entry for this contest. Terry.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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I think your dialogue is excellent, and you moved the storyline along very well. You might consider a few action tags with the dialogue.
Also, think about adding a setting. Where were they having the conversation? Were they in a car, a restaurant, or on the street when she began to change?
Your reader would envision the story a little better. Overall nicely done. Good entry for this contest. Terry.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Terry - this is some really valuable feedback. Much appreciated!
Comment from Wendyanne
Lol very funny. She wasn't believed and he ended up being bitten by a she-wolf and will now become a werewolf! I enjoyed reading your fictional story. Good luck.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Lol very funny. She wasn't believed and he ended up being bitten by a she-wolf and will now become a werewolf! I enjoyed reading your fictional story. Good luck.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thanks so much, Wendyanne! There's a lesson here for all men - listen to your dates/partners. :)
Comment from Thesis
Great job with this. It was a hard contest to begin with, but you were very effective with it. I think your decision to use narrative was a great idea. The transformation at the end was suspenseful. Great photo to accompany the post,
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Great job with this. It was a hard contest to begin with, but you were very effective with it. I think your decision to use narrative was a great idea. The transformation at the end was suspenseful. Great photo to accompany the post,
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback and the six stars - very generous of you!
Comment from T.A. Walk
Totally loved it!!
Your dialogue was great and the story was captivating.
Obviously I would've enjoyed a more detailed ending, but it was a fantastic story.
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Totally loved it!!
Your dialogue was great and the story was captivating.
Obviously I would've enjoyed a more detailed ending, but it was a fantastic story.
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much! That was the only drawback with sticking to dialogue - once the transition happens, it's pretty much the end of the discussion. :)
Comment from royowen
I loved it, it shouldn't happen to a dog. This is a great write, you managed to skilfully turn something potentially scary to something really quite amusing, and that great tailing off at the end, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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I loved it, it shouldn't happen to a dog. This is a great write, you managed to skilfully turn something potentially scary to something really quite amusing, and that great tailing off at the end, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thanks, Roy!
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Most welcome