Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A fine coming-of-age story as you depict your chhildhood years with their innocence and fun and then as you become an adolescent, there's a whole new set of activities and associated mind-games. An enjoyable read.
Wendy

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

Hello Wendy,
thanks so much for the great review. Those early years of adolescence are brutal. So many changes going on in our bodies as well as in the world at large. I lived in a fairly peaceful time, where we understood what the expectations of us were. Children now have so much more to deal with, with outside forces trying to mold them into whatever vision is acceptable at the time. God help our youth.
Have a blessed day gal.
Tom

Comment from Bill Schott

Exceptional

Always great to read about the childhood hijinks of folks my age and all the similar instances and revelations which occurred as life and learning marched on. I guess we all had alone time, box experiences, Playboy discoveries, knew the Bad News Brothers, and found our way through what seemed like the longest and shortest period of life.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

Hello Bill,
thanks so much for the outstanding review. I really liked the last line- what seemed like the longest and shortest period of our life. If only we knew how quickly life would move, and how much we would change, but there was so much happening all at once sometimes we just had to hang on and hope for the best.
Have a blessed day.
Tom

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

Well this story sort of went from one kind of plumbing to another in rapid fashion! lol

Your writing is very engaging and you are indeed a storyteller in the finest tradition.

Belmont street in Marion Ohio - should probably have a comma before Ohio.

" Hmm. Playboy. What's this about?"- delete space after the opening speech marks.

You don't need the apostrophe for Gebbys.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023

Hello GMG,
I appreciate your helpful review. I should probably wait and do my writing when I don't have any other pressing issues happening. As it was, I was trying to squeeze in a story before dinner. I got in a rush. Thanks so much for the help.
Have a blessed day.
Tom

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

For eighteen years I lived in the same house on Belmont Street.

I'm sorry, perhaps I'm missing something. I don't think this for a contest, and it is listed as general fiction prose. I think the story was not pasted, as all I see is one sentence and picture. There is no context, or any sort of story elements.

updated:

Great story, glad I came back.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

No, I don't know why it's publishing this Lancellot I was trying to do save something and it published it. I'm still working on it. Sorry about that.
Tom

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

Hahaha! This one is cute and funny and with a good message all wrapped up in one! wonderful job! The kid in the box is cute too. So you've made a fine picture choice for this entry.
Having said that, I see no issues with grammar. Spelling sentence structure, esthetics or subject matter. You did a great job, this is super cute I love it. I hope you have an awesome night!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023

Hello Lea,

Thanks for the great review, but I didn't really want to publish it until I finished it. Somehow in the effort to save it, it published. I'll finish it and then hopefully it will make more sense.
Blessings,
Tom

reply by Lea Tonin1 on 09-Oct-2023

No problem😁