Miranda's Trouble In Paradise
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Start spreading the News."Miranda tries to find Dougie.
23 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
This was a great read. Thanks for all the diversions, hither and thither. Is the new boy at work related to the bloke who was murdered? Don't tell, I guess.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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This was a great read. Thanks for all the diversions, hither and thither. Is the new boy at work related to the bloke who was murdered? Don't tell, I guess.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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It's the friend and neighbor of Terry from The Real Terry Joe McKinnon. He and Terry would always hit the Little Eagle for drinks when they were playing basketball. Thanks for this. Gretchen
Comment from Paul Manton
Start sharpening the stakes, Miranda. I would - then they'll be handy next time.
A really smooth natural dialogue between Miranda and Aaron throughout this chapter. And the 'behind her back' stuff is important because it opens the possibility that Miranda hasn't dealt with all her trauma yet - so it's a kind of dramatic irony. Some time soon she is going to crack - or at least have a cathartic episode, before she can get back to 'normal'.
Mrs. Fine is a great foil to the serious stuff - a bit like the 'mechanicals' in Shakespeare, or the slapstick in pantomime - 'we love to hate her'! Which meant a perfect way of ending the piece.
Well written as always.
Paul
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Start sharpening the stakes, Miranda. I would - then they'll be handy next time.
A really smooth natural dialogue between Miranda and Aaron throughout this chapter. And the 'behind her back' stuff is important because it opens the possibility that Miranda hasn't dealt with all her trauma yet - so it's a kind of dramatic irony. Some time soon she is going to crack - or at least have a cathartic episode, before she can get back to 'normal'.
Mrs. Fine is a great foil to the serious stuff - a bit like the 'mechanicals' in Shakespeare, or the slapstick in pantomime - 'we love to hate her'! Which meant a perfect way of ending the piece.
Well written as always.
Paul
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Thanks so much for this awesome review, Paul. I really appreciate your comments. Gretchen
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Welcome, Gretchen.
Paul
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Wow, you've got some colorful and believable characters. In this story. Aaron seems to be quite a character, and so is our friend Miranda. You write in a very fluidic fashion easily going from one sentence to the other. I don't see any stumbling at all, and the whole thing. Reallyou've got some fine sentence structure going on good collection of words that makes your character as believable.
Having said all that fancy, no grammar, punctuation, spelling sentence structure, or subject matter issues at all. I find it to be a well put Together piece and I look forward to your next submission Best Of luck to You!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Wow, you've got some colorful and believable characters. In this story. Aaron seems to be quite a character, and so is our friend Miranda. You write in a very fluidic fashion easily going from one sentence to the other. I don't see any stumbling at all, and the whole thing. Reallyou've got some fine sentence structure going on good collection of words that makes your character as believable.
Having said all that fancy, no grammar, punctuation, spelling sentence structure, or subject matter issues at all. I find it to be a well put Together piece and I look forward to your next submission Best Of luck to You!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much. I appreciate this kind review. Gretchen
