Would You Look at That
A Chloe and Mindy Story26 total reviews
Comment from Baltimore Born
This was an interestingly good story. There's a lot here that would keep a child attention. Taking animals, Mindy who tells a story by rhyming and so much more. Salty and CeCe situation adds some drama. This is a very good story. Nice job.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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This was an interestingly good story. There's a lot here that would keep a child attention. Taking animals, Mindy who tells a story by rhyming and so much more. Salty and CeCe situation adds some drama. This is a very good story. Nice job.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Baltimore Born.
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Hey John, talk about fun. Wow, I love this and know that I don't read enough of your posts, but really trying harder to not miss you.
I love these pups making friends with all the critters in the neighborhood and concern for their friends, uhhhh, won't even try to pronounce any of those silly names. This is adorable and I will make sure to try to stay tuned in for what comes next. Thanks for the chuckles today.
Love, Debi
You asked for it, dear bro: typo- Chloe is an (a) six year old
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Hey John, talk about fun. Wow, I love this and know that I don't read enough of your posts, but really trying harder to not miss you.
I love these pups making friends with all the critters in the neighborhood and concern for their friends, uhhhh, won't even try to pronounce any of those silly names. This is adorable and I will make sure to try to stay tuned in for what comes next. Thanks for the chuckles today.
Love, Debi
You asked for it, dear bro: typo- Chloe is an (a) six year old
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Debi. I can take it! Thank you for the positive and uplifting review. I do certainly appreciate you and your time, I?m creating a fie to keep all notes and reviews to look at and make changes.
You?re the best.
John
Comment from Sally Law
This is precious, my friend. I really enjoyed this story and the poetic rhymes.
A few improvements for your consideration. All easily fixable in edit.
--Chloe looked at Mindy. "That's a shame", Chloe said.
Chloe looked at Mindy. "That's a shame," Chloe said. Comma after shame.
--"Good ole' Silky" Chloe said. "Good ol' Silky," Chloe said. Add comma after Silky.
--Floating speech marks after Mindy was exasperated. That happens to me sometimes when I move a paragraph.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine children's book. I look forward to hearing about your publishing. Sending them on my very best today as always. Sal :))
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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This is precious, my friend. I really enjoyed this story and the poetic rhymes.
A few improvements for your consideration. All easily fixable in edit.
--Chloe looked at Mindy. "That's a shame", Chloe said.
Chloe looked at Mindy. "That's a shame," Chloe said. Comma after shame.
--"Good ole' Silky" Chloe said. "Good ol' Silky," Chloe said. Add comma after Silky.
--Floating speech marks after Mindy was exasperated. That happens to me sometimes when I move a paragraph.
I hope this is helpful and adds to your fine children's book. I look forward to hearing about your publishing. Sending them on my very best today as always. Sal :))
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Sally.
Sorry for the late response.
I certainly appreciate your taking your time to provide the improvements.
I'm keeping a file to go back and make improvements.
Cheers,
John
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I have nothing to add to this because I think it's brilliant already. This was fun and I could see kids, and even adults, loving this. I wish I could see the pictures that would go with each page. Some artist could definitely have fun with this story. Do you draw? Create that way? I can't do it, but reading this I wish I could.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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I have nothing to add to this because I think it's brilliant already. This was fun and I could see kids, and even adults, loving this. I wish I could see the pictures that would go with each page. Some artist could definitely have fun with this story. Do you draw? Create that way? I can't do it, but reading this I wish I could.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Meghan for your time to read and respond.
Sorry for my late response.
John
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is down right cute. I had fun reading. Thank you for sharing. Such an innocent love story.
d Salty on the fence, then continued. "According to Salty, (comma after 'continued,)
You know, like in getting married." Mindy said. (comma after 'married,")
"Good ole' Silky" Chloe said. (comma after 'Silky,"
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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This is down right cute. I had fun reading. Thank you for sharing. Such an innocent love story.
d Salty on the fence, then continued. "According to Salty, (comma after 'continued,)
You know, like in getting married." Mindy said. (comma after 'married,")
"Good ole' Silky" Chloe said. (comma after 'Silky,"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Barbara for reading and the correction.
John
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
What do we have here John, talking dogs that write poetry? You made me smile with this quaint and endearing story, I loved the dialogue and the poetry within, a very entertaining post, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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What do we have here John, talking dogs that write poetry? You made me smile with this quaint and endearing story, I loved the dialogue and the poetry within, a very entertaining post, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
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Dolly,
Thank you so much for reviewing. Sorry for the late response as I had a very busy four days at work.
John