What a Hundred'll Do
A Quarter That Wouldn't Stay on Julie's Brow36 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Wonderful story, very intriguing, as one must consider human nature, meaning of life, and morality and otherwise. He was a complex character. No, he didn't really steal the schooner, but he was unnecessarily cruel to Autry, and fed off his fear and distress. But was this all real anyway or did he just wander in his thinking, once he saw the schooner in the pawn shop window. Very complex story, and well written apart from a few missed dashes.
"A ship you're talking about a ship." (a dash needed after the first "ship", and maybe a question mark at the end.)
"But a ship you mean a ship!" (need to insert a dash, or something, after the first "ship")
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Wonderful story, very intriguing, as one must consider human nature, meaning of life, and morality and otherwise. He was a complex character. No, he didn't really steal the schooner, but he was unnecessarily cruel to Autry, and fed off his fear and distress. But was this all real anyway or did he just wander in his thinking, once he saw the schooner in the pawn shop window. Very complex story, and well written apart from a few missed dashes.
"A ship you're talking about a ship." (a dash needed after the first "ship", and maybe a question mark at the end.)
"But a ship you mean a ship!" (need to insert a dash, or something, after the first "ship")
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Bless you, Wendy, for your kindness and for your Eagle-eyes! I am so conscious of "run-on sentences", I believe you call them "Comma-splices" and I was aghast to see I'd committed two in one story. I'm indebted to you. I don't believe I have a Thumbs Up nod left for the month, but if not, I shall reserve one for you next month.
Jay
Comment from lyenochka
This is a bizarre story, Jay. I sense humor of the absurd but you also create a real sympathy for the narrator. I liked that he put a quarter on Julie's forehead and that act reminded me of giving a coin to the deceased to pay Charon so that lead perfectly to the pawnshop interactions.
I bought a couple of your books but not the Best Stories so missed this one.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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This is a bizarre story, Jay. I sense humor of the absurd but you also create a real sympathy for the narrator. I liked that he put a quarter on Julie's forehead and that act reminded me of giving a coin to the deceased to pay Charon so that lead perfectly to the pawnshop interactions.
I bought a couple of your books but not the Best Stories so missed this one.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Glad you caught that about gifts to Charon. Whatever works! Thank you for your support away from here, as well as your kindness and unique perspective here. Jay.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Jay,
This story had to be the length it was in order to be told. Julie became almost a non-essential character to this story. You have to wonder what Buster is thinking. He didn't have to be cruel, and yet he was. Was he afraid of friendship? Somehow you perfectly captured how having a hundred dollar bill versus a smaller amount totally changed Buster's way of thinking. Well done. This was a great story.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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Hello Jay,
This story had to be the length it was in order to be told. Julie became almost a non-essential character to this story. You have to wonder what Buster is thinking. He didn't have to be cruel, and yet he was. Was he afraid of friendship? Somehow you perfectly captured how having a hundred dollar bill versus a smaller amount totally changed Buster's way of thinking. Well done. This was a great story.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2023
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I agree about Julie's part except that what humanity Buster had was owing in part to trying, though failing, to steer Julie through her short life. Tom, I am so happy you enjoyed this story, and especially gratified that you realized it's length had to be what it was. Bless your day as well!
Jay
Comment from royowen
I'm so glad I was chosen to write poetry, it removes all the nuances and detail from the literary agenda(s). And it collects the wisdom in a few collective phrases and fires the basic cultural movement of a nation(s), But I do appreciate the efforts of the prose writer to expand the narrative as you have here Jay, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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I'm so glad I was chosen to write poetry, it removes all the nuances and detail from the literary agenda(s). And it collects the wisdom in a few collective phrases and fires the basic cultural movement of a nation(s), But I do appreciate the efforts of the prose writer to expand the narrative as you have here Jay, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Roy. But none can touch your poetry when you're in your groove!
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Nor you in your prose Jay.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I read it all, word for word. It is not for someone who likes a simple little story. It pulls at the mind and the heart as I contemplate what the ship meant to him. I must admit I don't understand the gun and the robbery and being cruel to Autry. I suspect I am not a deep thinker, I like butterflies.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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I read it all, word for word. It is not for someone who likes a simple little story. It pulls at the mind and the heart as I contemplate what the ship meant to him. I must admit I don't understand the gun and the robbery and being cruel to Autry. I suspect I am not a deep thinker, I like butterflies.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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No, Carol, you might convince others that you're not a deep thinker. Anyone who wrote your Mars series, is a deep thinker. The only deep thinking I take credit for is getting inside my characters' heads. Anything good came from them first. Thank you, my dear, for reading my story. It means a lot!
Jay
Comment from Jim Wile
Yes, I did recognize this story from your short story collection, but I'm so glad you repeated it here. It was one of my favorite ones.
You've presented an agonizing picture of a lost soul who drifts through life from one misadventure to another in search of... what exactly? We don't really know. Something to give meaning to his life? He seems quite intelligent and full of potential, yet he is scared to apply himself in a meaningful way and is in that nether-region where he is comfortable in either poverty or inherited wealth. What has made him so jaded?
He recognizes that "the worm of depravity has burrowed deeply into his soul." He understands people like Autry, sensing that the fat man was probably teased in school, is a loner, and is hungry for a friend--any friend--to share a laugh with and show him a little attention and respect. Buster laughs right along with him and pretends to be friendly, but then turns on him and cruelly insults him. He understands his dead girlfriend--that her moral compass is even more skewed than his and that she seems to be on a suicide mission, seeking only a life with no boundaries or rules. He sees himself as not quite that bad, yet he is afraid to commit to a life with purpose.
He is torn, but he has the intelligence to recognize that he is a coward, unable to commit to either extreme. And so the only thing of value to him is to just let life happen, to watch his boat, which came to him at a dear price, drift along at the will of the currents with no assistance from him to wherever it ends up, leaving him with both dread and longing.
Poor, rudderless but ignoble fellow. What has made him this way? You've certainly painted a beautiful portrait of this man and actually made me feel for him (there, but for the grace of God--if I believed in him--go I?)
And, of course, your writing was beautiful--with wonderful metaphor (the worm eating away at his soul, the little schooner floating down the drain) and with an amazing understanding of people and their flaws and roles ("I considered at that moment, while I looked into her unfocused, defiantly suicidal eyes, that it wasn't my place to confound her dubious premises; the onus belonged rather to society--that safe notion of social reality--to dash her magnificently structured ice-sliver mansion. I resolved to no longer play the assassin.")
This was a masterly written story, Jay. - Jim
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Yes, I did recognize this story from your short story collection, but I'm so glad you repeated it here. It was one of my favorite ones.
You've presented an agonizing picture of a lost soul who drifts through life from one misadventure to another in search of... what exactly? We don't really know. Something to give meaning to his life? He seems quite intelligent and full of potential, yet he is scared to apply himself in a meaningful way and is in that nether-region where he is comfortable in either poverty or inherited wealth. What has made him so jaded?
He recognizes that "the worm of depravity has burrowed deeply into his soul." He understands people like Autry, sensing that the fat man was probably teased in school, is a loner, and is hungry for a friend--any friend--to share a laugh with and show him a little attention and respect. Buster laughs right along with him and pretends to be friendly, but then turns on him and cruelly insults him. He understands his dead girlfriend--that her moral compass is even more skewed than his and that she seems to be on a suicide mission, seeking only a life with no boundaries or rules. He sees himself as not quite that bad, yet he is afraid to commit to a life with purpose.
He is torn, but he has the intelligence to recognize that he is a coward, unable to commit to either extreme. And so the only thing of value to him is to just let life happen, to watch his boat, which came to him at a dear price, drift along at the will of the currents with no assistance from him to wherever it ends up, leaving him with both dread and longing.
Poor, rudderless but ignoble fellow. What has made him this way? You've certainly painted a beautiful portrait of this man and actually made me feel for him (there, but for the grace of God--if I believed in him--go I?)
And, of course, your writing was beautiful--with wonderful metaphor (the worm eating away at his soul, the little schooner floating down the drain) and with an amazing understanding of people and their flaws and roles ("I considered at that moment, while I looked into her unfocused, defiantly suicidal eyes, that it wasn't my place to confound her dubious premises; the onus belonged rather to society--that safe notion of social reality--to dash her magnificently structured ice-sliver mansion. I resolved to no longer play the assassin.")
This was a masterly written story, Jay. - Jim
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Oh my goodness, my goodness! Man! This should stand as a model for writing a review. I think I already gave you a "thumbs up" for a previous one, but I'm going to try again. This is so worthy.
Jay
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When a story is this good, it deserves a worthy review, my friend.
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Well, you certainly gave it one!
Jay
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You already know I love your writing style and this story show exactly why. I don't do Ebooks so I hadn't read it until now. It's my loss. I am getting closer and closer to a new computer. This is a perfect read.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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You already know I love your writing style and this story show exactly why. I don't do Ebooks so I hadn't read it until now. It's my loss. I am getting closer and closer to a new computer. This is a perfect read.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Barbara, that means so much to me. Thank you, sincerely.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is certainly one of the best things you have ever told, long or short. The most surprising thing is you said it was long, but I never felt that at all. It felt poignant and full of characters who had their idiosynchrasies, but never long. I was glad Buster managed to send his coin on its last journey to Jules. A wonderful read.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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This is certainly one of the best things you have ever told, long or short. The most surprising thing is you said it was long, but I never felt that at all. It felt poignant and full of characters who had their idiosynchrasies, but never long. I was glad Buster managed to send his coin on its last journey to Jules. A wonderful read.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Kay-Kay. Your words fill my sails. Spread the word. Few but friends will weather its length.
Jay
Comment from Annmuma
Excellently done and, of course, I have a number of your books. Always a pleasure and a nice way to escape reality for a short time. Well-written with characters that are defined and scenes easily pictured in the readers' minds. Enjoyed the read. ann
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Excellently done and, of course, I have a number of your books. Always a pleasure and a nice way to escape reality for a short time. Well-written with characters that are defined and scenes easily pictured in the readers' minds. Enjoyed the read. ann
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Ann. So you already read this from the collection. That's great. I appreciate the review here -- and the six stars!
Jay
Comment from Terry Broxson
This is just like some good old boy I know to post up a story that he might included in the greatest short stories he ever wrote book, if he ever wrote the book.
So, I am reading along...and thinking, this sounds familiar. But then, running across the names Buster Crabb and Gene Autry...wait, I know I read this.
And sure enough, on my Kindle from a while back is the good old boys book about The Greatest Short Stories He Ever Wrote. Sadly, what I didn't do at the time, but I did correct earlier today, was post a review of the book on Amazon. It will take a while to show up. They are slow pokes.
Exceptional! Terry.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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This is just like some good old boy I know to post up a story that he might included in the greatest short stories he ever wrote book, if he ever wrote the book.
So, I am reading along...and thinking, this sounds familiar. But then, running across the names Buster Crabb and Gene Autry...wait, I know I read this.
And sure enough, on my Kindle from a while back is the good old boys book about The Greatest Short Stories He Ever Wrote. Sadly, what I didn't do at the time, but I did correct earlier today, was post a review of the book on Amazon. It will take a while to show up. They are slow pokes.
Exceptional! Terry.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Ohhhhh, Man! Thank you for the Amazon review. I'll check it out. They help so much!
Jay
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Jay, I just posted it today, not sure why I didn't post it back when I got the book and first read it. Terry.
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Oh, no worry! I'm just thrilled you left it!