The Summer We All Grew Up
Life is precious.35 total reviews
Comment from Barry Penfold
An interesting but obviously sad story. Yes, the impact of death of another hits us in different ways. I think it is wonderful that you got around to writing it down. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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An interesting but obviously sad story. Yes, the impact of death of another hits us in different ways. I think it is wonderful that you got around to writing it down. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2023
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Thank you! It was a tough write for me.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wow, it isn't often that a story hits me this hard, so I can't imagine you and the other children having to live with it all of your lives. Her mother took her Hope away. Outstanding writing. I wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Wow, it isn't often that a story hits me this hard, so I can't imagine you and the other children having to live with it all of your lives. Her mother took her Hope away. Outstanding writing. I wish I had a six.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Your words mean way more than a six, my friend. Thanks you for your kind review.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have written this story so that the reader clearly understands the camaraderie and fun of the children and bus driver on Bus 9. All of the children were probably traumatized after Becky's death. If it were today, counseling would have been recommended for the children. It's good you have taken this opportunity to write this story, and to let others know Becky once lived. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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You have written this story so that the reader clearly understands the camaraderie and fun of the children and bus driver on Bus 9. All of the children were probably traumatized after Becky's death. If it were today, counseling would have been recommended for the children. It's good you have taken this opportunity to write this story, and to let others know Becky once lived. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Tough write.
Comment from Faith Williams
Douglas, thank you for sharing Becky Hope Green with us. I imagine it wasn't easy for you to relive some of those moments. I also can't believe the family chose to have an open casket nor can I believe your parents forced you to approach it.
I wasn't sure if you wanted edits/suggestions for this one, but I included them. If you weren't really looking for them, you can skip this part.
'Initially it started as just something the five of us did. Then kids started joining in by hampering our egress from the bus. Initially the stern Debbie frowned upon this activity, but due to Ken and my constant wins, she joined in on the girls' team and evened up the odds.' 'Initially' is repeated here, maybe switch out one for 'originally' or 'at first'.
'Her little sister Mindy, plus Dallas and Becky were Lisa's friends.' I believe you should add a comma following 'sister'.
(Our sixth was my sister Diane, who was 16 and in High School.) Again, I believe you should add a comma after 'sister'.
'My friend Becky can not be paroled.' Cannot is one word.
'Not only did my parents take us, but they paraded us trembling and horrified children (past) the open casket.' I believe you want 'passed' here.
'The broken finger was still bruised, crooked, and dark purple even with the attempted make-up coverup.' Every sentence in this paragraph starts with 'the'. Maybe switch this one to 'her'.
'The funeral home had worked miracles on her head, yet it is was still slightly (oblongated) and bruised.' I think you should delete 'is'. Also, I think you either want 'oblong' or 'elongated' here'.
'No more gender infused team races up the front lawn.' I think 'gender-infused' should be hyphenated.
General suggestion: Reread and focus on the word 'that' as I think several of them could be deleted.
Thank you again for sharing Becky with us. Thank you for sharing your story, Douglas.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Douglas, thank you for sharing Becky Hope Green with us. I imagine it wasn't easy for you to relive some of those moments. I also can't believe the family chose to have an open casket nor can I believe your parents forced you to approach it.
I wasn't sure if you wanted edits/suggestions for this one, but I included them. If you weren't really looking for them, you can skip this part.
'Initially it started as just something the five of us did. Then kids started joining in by hampering our egress from the bus. Initially the stern Debbie frowned upon this activity, but due to Ken and my constant wins, she joined in on the girls' team and evened up the odds.' 'Initially' is repeated here, maybe switch out one for 'originally' or 'at first'.
'Her little sister Mindy, plus Dallas and Becky were Lisa's friends.' I believe you should add a comma following 'sister'.
(Our sixth was my sister Diane, who was 16 and in High School.) Again, I believe you should add a comma after 'sister'.
'My friend Becky can not be paroled.' Cannot is one word.
'Not only did my parents take us, but they paraded us trembling and horrified children (past) the open casket.' I believe you want 'passed' here.
'The broken finger was still bruised, crooked, and dark purple even with the attempted make-up coverup.' Every sentence in this paragraph starts with 'the'. Maybe switch this one to 'her'.
'The funeral home had worked miracles on her head, yet it is was still slightly (oblongated) and bruised.' I think you should delete 'is'. Also, I think you either want 'oblong' or 'elongated' here'.
'No more gender infused team races up the front lawn.' I think 'gender-infused' should be hyphenated.
General suggestion: Reread and focus on the word 'that' as I think several of them could be deleted.
Thank you again for sharing Becky with us. Thank you for sharing your story, Douglas.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Tough write. I always appreciate editing help, especially from you, Faith. Thank you.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a horrible crme. I can't imagine the mother thinking a child who finger was borken by her could cover that up by murdering her. I remember some some tramatic things that happened when I was child but thankfully my parents did make things wrose by making me view the victime of crime. Even then I had nightmares just hearing about it. I wonder what it must have been like for girl's sisters and brother. Obviously their morther was crazy or totally evil. You did a good job of relating this story.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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This was a horrible crme. I can't imagine the mother thinking a child who finger was borken by her could cover that up by murdering her. I remember some some tramatic things that happened when I was child but thankfully my parents did make things wrose by making me view the victime of crime. Even then I had nightmares just hearing about it. I wonder what it must have been like for girl's sisters and brother. Obviously their morther was crazy or totally evil. You did a good job of relating this story.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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I always wondered what happened to her siblings.
This was a tough write. Appreciate your comments, Beth.
Comment from Spitfire
Sorry, Doug, but I think your parents were guilty of child abuse too for forcing you to look into the open casket. Perhaps that is why your grief continued so lone.
I like that you started this with the good times you all had before turning the post into a tragedy, even more powerful because of the contrast. Becky has a smile from ear to ear that belies the fact that she most likely was subject every day to her mother's temper.
I hope you win the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Sorry, Doug, but I think your parents were guilty of child abuse too for forcing you to look into the open casket. Perhaps that is why your grief continued so lone.
I like that you started this with the good times you all had before turning the post into a tragedy, even more powerful because of the contrast. Becky has a smile from ear to ear that belies the fact that she most likely was subject every day to her mother's temper.
I hope you win the contest.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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I write a piece about my stepfather called Magnum PI Was My Dad and Do You Believe In Monsters.
He was a dominating abuser who ruled the family with an hour fist. My mom would get the crap beat out of her if she opposed him. Everyone did what he said as quickly as possible. The bus was a sanctuary from that.
This was a tough write. I?m sure Becky is in a better place. I hope her siblings turned out okay.
D
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I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope sharing your stories helps you heal. I just fanned you.
Love and interest.
Shari aka Spitfire.
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Awww. You are so sweet. People like you are the reason I am on this site.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I hope Joan pays for her horrible crime. I don't understand parents who abuse and kill their children. You used excellent word imagery and the story moves along smoothly and easy to follow. It's heartfelt and moving. I cried. Poor little Becky. I hope she rests in peace.
Your father should not had made you view Becky's open casket. No wonder you have PTSD. I'm sorry about that. I know writing is therapeutic, has been for me too.
Good luck in the contest. I think it's a winner.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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I hope Joan pays for her horrible crime. I don't understand parents who abuse and kill their children. You used excellent word imagery and the story moves along smoothly and easy to follow. It's heartfelt and moving. I cried. Poor little Becky. I hope she rests in peace.
Your father should not had made you view Becky's open casket. No wonder you have PTSD. I'm sorry about that. I know writing is therapeutic, has been for me too.
Good luck in the contest. I think it's a winner.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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Thank you, friend. This was a really tough write for me. I wonder if her siblings turned out okay. They moved away after this. I know Becky has to be in a better place. I hope I did her honor with this piece. She didn?t deserve the hand she was dealt and should not be forgotten.
It pleased me that FS put it on the Welcome Page!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
No child should ever live in fear or abuse. That is my constant prayer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
September of 1981 (I graduate in 1972. So I am approximately 10 years older than you. In September of '81 I had two sons and a third one on the way.)
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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No child should ever live in fear or abuse. That is my constant prayer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
September of 1981 (I graduate in 1972. So I am approximately 10 years older than you. In September of '81 I had two sons and a third one on the way.)
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2023
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This was a tough write. I hope I honored her.
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You did.
Comment from country ranch writer
People need to reach out to get help before their life becomes more complicated trying to hold on day in day out. Talking to someone you can trust can be a good start in the right direction.call988 .
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
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People need to reach out to get help before their life becomes more complicated trying to hold on day in day out. Talking to someone you can trust can be a good start in the right direction.call988 .
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
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True dat. In patient mental care is this country is virtually non-existent
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Smiles
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Douglas,
No amount of stars could do justice to your exceptionally well-crafted offering.
Gut-wrenching.
Heart-wrenching.
I felt such anger as I read what happened to your dear friend. This type of rage exists far too often today.
You were right to post this piece; Becky must never be forgotten...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
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Good morning, Douglas,
No amount of stars could do justice to your exceptionally well-crafted offering.
Gut-wrenching.
Heart-wrenching.
I felt such anger as I read what happened to your dear friend. This type of rage exists far too often today.
You were right to post this piece; Becky must never be forgotten...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
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Thanks Diane. You are very kind. Whole situation was very sad all around. No winners. Everybody lost. On a good note, I like your new profile picture!
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Thank you, Douglas!
I can only imagine?
Re: new profile photo: turned 70 on July 1st! Take that old age! 😜😜😜😜