Grasping the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The New Addition Arrives"The Followup to Chasing the Elusive Dream
24 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I found the fact that the church community came together to contribute to building the new church fascinating and pleasing. I love Don's request to the doctor.
My family all had big ones, from 10 to 11 lbs. I hit over 11. My godmother only remembered wanting to priest to get my christening over because I was so heavy.
I enjoyed reading.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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I found the fact that the church community came together to contribute to building the new church fascinating and pleasing. I love Don's request to the doctor.
My family all had big ones, from 10 to 11 lbs. I hit over 11. My godmother only remembered wanting to priest to get my christening over because I was so heavy.
I enjoyed reading.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you Mary, I really enjoyed reading your comment. My babies kept getting a little bigger each time except for twins but they full size for twins, 6'9" and 6'12".
Beth
Comment from Jeff Hoppe
This was a touching slice of life, and I liked how it put me in the room with you. I did have trouble understanding emotions for each scene. It seemed to move from event to event without much cohesion, but maybe I am missing the point. I enjoyed the perspective of Don while he was asking about getting a brother.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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This was a touching slice of life, and I liked how it put me in the room with you. I did have trouble understanding emotions for each scene. It seemed to move from event to event without much cohesion, but maybe I am missing the point. I enjoyed the perspective of Don while he was asking about getting a brother.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you Jeff, I appreciate the review. Yes this series of stories are slices of life with no other particular theme other than the timeline in which they occur. Not everything I write is like that.
Beth
Comment from dellsworthpoet
It is always interesting reading biographies. This one has a ring of truth and is told with a matter of fact style. The pace is good. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point.
Suggestion:
"It came a flood while we were at the campground and bedding and clothing got soaked."
This sentence seems a bit clunky. I might suggest starting it with "A flood came" or "It came to flood level"
Thanks for a good read.
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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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It is always interesting reading biographies. This one has a ring of truth and is told with a matter of fact style. The pace is good. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point.
Suggestion:
"It came a flood while we were at the campground and bedding and clothing got soaked."
This sentence seems a bit clunky. I might suggest starting it with "A flood came" or "It came to flood level"
Thanks for a good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. When I read over what I'd written, I told myself I needed to go back and change the line about it coming a flood. You reminded me that I had forgotten to do that. It is changed now.
Beth
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You are welcome.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Oh, my, a ten pound baby could change a person's perspective on everything for the rest of their life. LOL. My friend Sam Shepard always told me that complete openness and honesty are the keys to great writing, and you for sure follow his teachings as well as anyone I know of. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Oh, my, a ten pound baby could change a person's perspective on everything for the rest of their life. LOL. My friend Sam Shepard always told me that complete openness and honesty are the keys to great writing, and you for sure follow his teachings as well as anyone I know of. Thanks for sharing.
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Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Yeah, well I sure you too nice to say TMI of didn't need to hear that. I'm likely a bit to open for most people's taste. I embarrass my kids sometimes, but I think most of us are grownup here. LOL
Beth
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There is no such thing as TMI. We are adults, or are supposed to be on here. And I don't think you've every said anything that wasn't 100% okay, and you're always entertaining.