August of 1969
This is a true story.26 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Yes, the Vietnam war was decidedly ill conceived, my brother fought in that war and was wounded, and apart from that seemed to prosper, but he did die from cancer, I'm so sorry you and your mum are estranged, it must hurt at this time. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
Yes, the Vietnam war was decidedly ill conceived, my brother fought in that war and was wounded, and apart from that seemed to prosper, but he did die from cancer, I'm so sorry you and your mum are estranged, it must hurt at this time. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Hello Roy, thank you so much
for taking the time to read
my poetry, and for the 5 stars
Estrangement can turn into
reunions. My mother turns
91 this coming August. I hope you and your family
receive many blessings.
Thank you for your support
and thoughtfulness.
-
You too Regina
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a heartfelt and emotional story about the tragedy and loss of life in a war. The Vietnam War had a horrible effect on America. Thank you for remembering those who served. l Best wishes in the contest.
They should of been going out (They should HAVE been)
They shouldn't of been in the (They shouldn't HAVE been in the...)
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
This is a heartfelt and emotional story about the tragedy and loss of life in a war. The Vietnam War had a horrible effect on America. Thank you for remembering those who served. l Best wishes in the contest.
They should of been going out (They should HAVE been)
They shouldn't of been in the (They shouldn't HAVE been in the...)
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Thank you so much, LJ, for
the generous and thoughtful
review, very kind of you. I
corrected the grammar, I
really appreciate it. I hope
you & your family have a
blessed week ~
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The emotion in this piece is palpable. The simple language adds to the poignancy. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point.
Suggestion:
There are some line breaks at unexpected places. This is usually caused by doing returns rather than letting lines wrap naturally. Unfortunately, when line lengths change these cause returns in the middle of a line. My suggestion is when writing prose use returns only at the end of paragraphs.
Thanks for sharing an evocative read.
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
The emotion in this piece is palpable. The simple language adds to the poignancy. The images are clear. The narrative stays on point.
Suggestion:
There are some line breaks at unexpected places. This is usually caused by doing returns rather than letting lines wrap naturally. Unfortunately, when line lengths change these cause returns in the middle of a line. My suggestion is when writing prose use returns only at the end of paragraphs.
Thanks for sharing an evocative read.
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Hi dellsworthpoet! Thank you
for the generous review and
your kind comments. I don't
have a computer, I post from
my cellphone, and it can be
wonky. I hope you have a
fab week with family and
writing. Many blessings ~
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a well written piece of prose, essentially concerning the dreadful death toll of the Vietnam War. The effectiveness of your words and theme is enhanced by your very impressive attention to detail, whether that be the sound of your mother's flip-flops or the nature scenes outside all so evocatively described. Also of course your mother's very palpable cries of distress. It's all very much an inside perspective on events so far away but which impact so heavily. I would just point out a grammatical issue which is very small and very commonly done: in the second para down under the image, it's 'should have' (not 'of') and shouldn't have. But this is an excellent story and a very worthy contender. Good luck, Debbie
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
This is a well written piece of prose, essentially concerning the dreadful death toll of the Vietnam War. The effectiveness of your words and theme is enhanced by your very impressive attention to detail, whether that be the sound of your mother's flip-flops or the nature scenes outside all so evocatively described. Also of course your mother's very palpable cries of distress. It's all very much an inside perspective on events so far away but which impact so heavily. I would just point out a grammatical issue which is very small and very commonly done: in the second para down under the image, it's 'should have' (not 'of') and shouldn't have. But this is an excellent story and a very worthy contender. Good luck, Debbie
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Thank you so much, Debbie,
for taking the time to read
and generously review my
story. Thank you for helping
me correct the grammar, very
much appreciate it. All the
wars America has fought
leaves broken hearts at home. May you and your
family have a good week
with many blessings. ~
Comment from GWHARGIS
This is a sad memory but shows how compassionate the woman was. To put aside the task at hand to grieve for those she didn't know. That shows a strong woman who put others first. I remember those evening broadcasts. Happy mothers day . Gretchen
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
This is a sad memory but shows how compassionate the woman was. To put aside the task at hand to grieve for those she didn't know. That shows a strong woman who put others first. I remember those evening broadcasts. Happy mothers day . Gretchen
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Hello Gretchen, thank you so
much for your kind and
generous review of my story..All the wars America
has fought leaves broken
hearts at home. If you're a
Mom, I hope you had a
fab Mother's Day. Many
blessings to you & your
family. ~
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a heartfelt memory Regina and this has brought you closer to your Mother for Mother's day even though you were estranged. We don't stop loving our Mothers even if we don't see them regularly. A fine post against the terrifying backdrop of the futile Vietnam war where so American many lives were lost. A moving post, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 15-May-2023
This is a heartfelt memory Regina and this has brought you closer to your Mother for Mother's day even though you were estranged. We don't stop loving our Mothers even if we don't see them regularly. A fine post against the terrifying backdrop of the futile Vietnam war where so American many lives were lost. A moving post, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-May-2023
reply by the author on 15-May-2023
-
Thank you so much, dear
Dolly, this is so kind of you.
All the wars America and
Britain has fought leaves
broken hearts at home. I
hope you & your family have
a blessed week full of
serenity. xxoo