As I Sip on My Chardonnay
The horrors of war disgust and frustrate us all.30 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Barry,
This is a well done song with a slightly changing refrain that shows us wine doesn't always keep you from feeling bad about war and mass shootings that seem to never end. I have great thanks and awe for all those who serve and go into the war zone to help.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Hi Barry,
This is a well done song with a slightly changing refrain that shows us wine doesn't always keep you from feeling bad about war and mass shootings that seem to never end. I have great thanks and awe for all those who serve and go into the war zone to help.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Joan,
Thanks for taking time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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You're very welcome, Barry.
Have a great weekend.
Joan
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent poem entry for the Free Form Poetry Contest.
The free verse is not forced flows well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" --
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Excellent poem entry for the Free Form Poetry Contest.
The free verse is not forced flows well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" --
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Gypsy,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it . Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from karenina
What a poem...taking us from the third person "fret of war, to the first person realization of the tyranny of it all and ultimately to the epiphany that "they" will only be stopped by "we" who stride swiftly into the abyss of war, hoping...praying...that we can make a difference. Should they? Ah, Arlington is filled with such patriots...
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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What a poem...taking us from the third person "fret of war, to the first person realization of the tyranny of it all and ultimately to the epiphany that "they" will only be stopped by "we" who stride swiftly into the abyss of war, hoping...praying...that we can make a difference. Should they? Ah, Arlington is filled with such patriots...
Karenina
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Thanks very much for your six star review. Always much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed it. You take care and have a great day. It is important to make the most of what we have.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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You earned those stars!
Thanks for writing this...
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
It is a tragic situation, Barry. Your contest entry portrayed
it well. Your lines read smoothly with smooth flow and
good rhymes at times. The repeating of the last two lines in
each verse tied everything together. Then the change in the
last verse made a major impact on readers. I agreed with your
notes.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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It is a tragic situation, Barry. Your contest entry portrayed
it well. Your lines read smoothly with smooth flow and
good rhymes at times. The repeating of the last two lines in
each verse tied everything together. Then the change in the
last verse made a major impact on readers. I agreed with your
notes.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Jan,
Thanks very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Please take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry
Comment from Charles W. Johnson
Barry, this is a wonderful example of free form. I enjoyed how you didn't abandon rhyme but made it pop up in unexpected ways. The nuanced changes to the final lines of each stanza was also very effective. Well done.
-Chuck
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Barry, this is a wonderful example of free form. I enjoyed how you didn't abandon rhyme but made it pop up in unexpected ways. The nuanced changes to the final lines of each stanza was also very effective. Well done.
-Chuck
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Chuck,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you are having a good day and make sure you take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We all fear war and being involved in it and surviving the horrors of it is a challenge and Britain have been involved in two major world wars in recent history that still resonate even today. I can identify with your words here Barry and empathise with the victims of war, well said, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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We all fear war and being involved in it and surviving the horrors of it is a challenge and Britain have been involved in two major world wars in recent history that still resonate even today. I can identify with your words here Barry and empathise with the victims of war, well said, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Dolly,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem.Glad you liked it. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry
Comment from pome lover
so are you going?
or is it just a poem?
Yes it is devastating and horrible,
but Thursday America is going to be in even worse trouble than we are today. Talk about not being able to sip my chardonnay. I want to scream to the sky at the injustice this administration is doing to THIS country! OUR country.
Katharine
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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so are you going?
or is it just a poem?
Yes it is devastating and horrible,
but Thursday America is going to be in even worse trouble than we are today. Talk about not being able to sip my chardonnay. I want to scream to the sky at the injustice this administration is doing to THIS country! OUR country.
Katharine
Comment Written 08-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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No it is just a poem. Would I if the question were thrust upon me. Truly do not know. You take care and have a great day.Thanks for the review.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written Rich in Theme design and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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This was well written Rich in Theme design and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 08-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Doctor Ricky,
Thanks for the review. Glad you liked it and you have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Paul McFarland
I don't give many sixes, Barry, but you got me with this one. I like a lot of rhyme, but the message was so overpowering that rhyme was secondary. I did see some sprinkled here and there.
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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I don't give many sixes, Barry, but you got me with this one. I like a lot of rhyme, but the message was so overpowering that rhyme was secondary. I did see some sprinkled here and there.
Comment Written 08-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Paul,
Thanks for the six stars. Means a lot to me. The poem has been received well so I am happy that I eventually got it out on paper. Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Great poem with an original recurring verse, which tends to prickly us like a needle: indifference and apathy are the two contributors to turning our back to suffering and injustice. I like the end, where a bold decision is made.
Great job!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Great poem with an original recurring verse, which tends to prickly us like a needle: indifference and apathy are the two contributors to turning our back to suffering and injustice. I like the end, where a bold decision is made.
Great job!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2023
reply by the author on 13-May-2023
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Mario,
Thanks for taking time to review my poem. Glad you liked it. Please take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.