My Brother's Christmas
A Late Christmas Gift32 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
The storytelling is outstanding. A virtual six is offered this late in the week. Your description of Callie is over-the-top greatness. Well, at least really good.
One suggestion, consider making the text a larger size for us older readers.
One observation, you might consider a different title. this wonderful story is not so much about Christmas as it is about the impact on his brother and his decision to marry Callie. I don't know what to suggest, but perhaps you might think about it. Exceptional writing, Terry.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
The storytelling is outstanding. A virtual six is offered this late in the week. Your description of Callie is over-the-top greatness. Well, at least really good.
One suggestion, consider making the text a larger size for us older readers.
One observation, you might consider a different title. this wonderful story is not so much about Christmas as it is about the impact on his brother and his decision to marry Callie. I don't know what to suggest, but perhaps you might think about it. Exceptional writing, Terry.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thank you, Terry, I always look forward to your in-depth input.
Enlarged the font, re-reading, and trying to come up with a suitable title.
irish
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I don't know what is fact and what is fiction, but when something like that happens, we always look back with regret about what could have been. All those years not speaking, and then it's too late. I'm glad Lawrence phoned Callie, not wasting anymore time. Years fly by, and before you know it we've come to the end. We have to make the most of the time we have. Everyday is a bonus. This is such a sad story, but with a happy ending. Well done for writing it. Sandra xx
I don't know what is fact and what is fiction, but when something like that happens, we always look back with regret about what could have been. All those years not speaking, and then it's too late. I'm glad Lawrence phoned Callie, not wasting anymore time. Years fly by, and before you know it we've come to the end. We have to make the most of the time we have. Everyday is a bonus. This is such a sad story, but with a happy ending. Well done for writing it. Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, Irish, you live up to your heritage. There's a poet in every Irish heart.
I like the structure, putting the storytelling in another context. Life, for many of us, starts as a comedy, but ends up a tragedy.
Though parts of this are fiction, that doesn't make it any less true.
Good 'un, Cal.
Peace, Lee
But that night I couldn't sleep. So here I am, 2:30 am, in my shorts and--You have a tense issue here.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
Ah, Irish, you live up to your heritage. There's a poet in every Irish heart.
I like the structure, putting the storytelling in another context. Life, for many of us, starts as a comedy, but ends up a tragedy.
Though parts of this are fiction, that doesn't make it any less true.
Good 'un, Cal.
Peace, Lee
But that night I couldn't sleep. So here I am, 2:30 am, in my shorts and--You have a tense issue here.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thanks again, Lee!
Comment from Wendy G
Very sad story, but I do hope there was time for some sort of reconciliation at the end after all the pain and bitterness lasting so long. Very thought-provoking write about relationships and how choices impact many more than just the couple in love.
Wendy
"Cursive blue ink", not "cursory"
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
Very sad story, but I do hope there was time for some sort of reconciliation at the end after all the pain and bitterness lasting so long. Very thought-provoking write about relationships and how choices impact many more than just the couple in love.
Wendy
"Cursive blue ink", not "cursory"
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thank you, Wendy, I always look forward to your input!
irish
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Wow! What a great but poignant story, Irishauthorme. You
did a great job. I liked the flashbacks to fill in the backstory.
What a lifetime of regrets until. . . .he finally sees the light.
I liked the description of the setting at the beginning and
how it changed throughout during the flashbacks. Your words
were descriptive, and the story held together well. The ending
was a change to something positive happening before it was
too late.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
Wow! What a great but poignant story, Irishauthorme. You
did a great job. I liked the flashbacks to fill in the backstory.
What a lifetime of regrets until. . . .he finally sees the light.
I liked the description of the setting at the beginning and
how it changed throughout during the flashbacks. Your words
were descriptive, and the story held together well. The ending
was a change to something positive happening before it was
too late.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Hi, Jan, thank you for your in-depth input! I always look forward to your comments, you see things other readers seem to miss.
irish
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
I hope all the good parts are from life and all the bad parts are fiction.
But then, there weren't very many 'good' parts, were there?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
Nicely written.
I hope all the good parts are from life and all the bad parts are fiction.
But then, there weren't very many 'good' parts, were there?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Hi Wayne, thank you for your input! The good part-but still bittersweet-was that I did finally reconcile with both sisters. Took me a while to stop dragging those chains behind me.
irish
Comment from nomi338
There is probably no pain greater than the pain of recognizing the pain snap decisions can cause. When we combine ager with pain, our actions are most often regrettable. Unfortunately the passage of time can not be reclaimed. Looking back has never been comfortable or comforting. This letter does a remarkable job of pointing that out.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
There is probably no pain greater than the pain of recognizing the pain snap decisions can cause. When we combine ager with pain, our actions are most often regrettable. Unfortunately the passage of time can not be reclaimed. Looking back has never been comfortable or comforting. This letter does a remarkable job of pointing that out.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thank you again, you saw many things in my little story that everyone else missed.
irish
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is an excellent piece. Poignant and sad but well written. It flows nicely and I particularly like the ending. The fact that the narrator is finally committing to the relationship. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
This is an excellent piece. Poignant and sad but well written. It flows nicely and I particularly like the ending. The fact that the narrator is finally committing to the relationship. Nicely done.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thank you, Mary, I appreciate your in-depth comments. I also finally made peace with both of the sisters, alive and passed.
irish
-
That's wonderful. That is so important.
Comment from royowen
A difficult story to process, a story of separation, regret, burying the past, heartbreak and hesitancy, and finally, decision that one must face life, not run away form it, it should be embraced, with all its fulness and pain and hope and abandon, bea written blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
A difficult story to process, a story of separation, regret, burying the past, heartbreak and hesitancy, and finally, decision that one must face life, not run away form it, it should be embraced, with all its fulness and pain and hope and abandon, bea written blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
-
Thank you, Roy, I appreciate your input on my effort. I finally did make peace with my estranged, took me a long time to quit dragging those chains behind me.
irish
-
I?m so glad
Comment from Alaskastory
"My Brother's Christmas" is so full of action and covers so many times in lives, yet it seems to move along smoothly. It is so full of emotion that I'm sure every reader grasps it to the finish. So well done!
"My Brother's Christmas" is so full of action and covers so many times in lives, yet it seems to move along smoothly. It is so full of emotion that I'm sure every reader grasps it to the finish. So well done!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2023