Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Never Be Me...."A compilation of poems
30 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
I think that this excellent short poem perhaps bit off more than it could chew with such a richly bitter topic. Exploitation and betrayal in 27 syllables? Quite a challenge. The last line could be strengthened altho I don't know quite how, within the syllabic constraints. 'He took me/What, some house rag am I?/He'll pay someday for this slight to me.' I know that some of these syllabic limits poetic forms rule out certain punctuation. I do think that there's great possibility in this conflict.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
  |
I think that this excellent short poem perhaps bit off more than it could chew with such a richly bitter topic. Exploitation and betrayal in 27 syllables? Quite a challenge. The last line could be strengthened altho I don't know quite how, within the syllabic constraints. 'He took me/What, some house rag am I?/He'll pay someday for this slight to me.' I know that some of these syllabic limits poetic forms rule out certain punctuation. I do think that there's great possibility in this conflict.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate your kind comments. I mean your suggestions they go a long way with me and always grateful when someone takes the time to give me one so thank you very much again and I hope you have a great day
-
Be well, Lea.
-
Thank you you too!
Comment from BermyBye50
Lea,
This is an excellent 3-6-9 Poem contest entry. Your words are powerful and poignant. Raw emotion is infused in every verse. Thank you for your gift of expressing vulnerability in this well-written write. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
|
Lea,
This is an excellent 3-6-9 Poem contest entry. Your words are powerful and poignant. Raw emotion is infused in every verse. Thank you for your gift of expressing vulnerability in this well-written write. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2023
-
Thank you so much I really appreciate your kind words and appreciate your review and the time it took. Thank you again have a great day!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a complicated poem about you. I can tell you are a strong woman even though there were some harm done to you in the past. You are a survivor and past experience made you stronger.
Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
|
What a complicated poem about you. I can tell you are a strong woman even though there were some harm done to you in the past. You are a survivor and past experience made you stronger.
Well done.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2023
-
Thank you so much for your kind words and for your insight. Also for your time in reviewing my poem and comments to go with it. I am very much appreciative . I look forward to chatting with you again have a great night thank you again!
Comment from thoughtgame2
Once again a very strong message from a very strong place...thank you for sharing the wisdom that has been harnessed through your life. I would love to collaborate with you in pages...I just don't know how to reach out other than here...if three's a way . I'm all ears...thank you again for picking me up in thought.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
|
Once again a very strong message from a very strong place...thank you for sharing the wisdom that has been harnessed through your life. I would love to collaborate with you in pages...I just don't know how to reach out other than here...if three's a way . I'm all ears...thank you again for picking me up in thought.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for your review and your time and your comments you've always appreciated! Have you wish Here's my email address if you'd like to contact me. ltonin04@gmail.com
Thank you again have a great day!
Comment from lyenochka
This poem speaks to me of a false love who abused the narrator, leaving her to question her heart and feel shaken in her soul.
You did the full three stanzas per the contest. I would suggest that you put an accent if you pronounce 'unmasked" as three syllables. It is typically just two syllables. See: https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllables/unmasked
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
|
This poem speaks to me of a false love who abused the narrator, leaving her to question her heart and feel shaken in her soul.
You did the full three stanzas per the contest. I would suggest that you put an accent if you pronounce 'unmasked" as three syllables. It is typically just two syllables. See: https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllables/unmasked
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
-
That you are very intuitive I hit the nail right on the head excellent thank you I'm asked I have as 2. I think thank you for telling me I'll have a peek at that. Appreciate you taking the time to read my home. I'll give you a review always grateful for that have a great night!
Comment from Raul1
I can hear your message clear and it's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. Nice job! I like it. Good luck in the contest! Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
I can hear your message clear and it's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. Nice job! I like it. Good luck in the contest! Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you so much for your review and the time and your comments very much appreciated. I hope you haven't awesome evening too thanks again!
Comment from Maria Millsaps
A hero; a survivor who overcame a major trauma yet remained strong enough to give it a voice that others may be drawn to strengths. I like how you said it all in just a few words. Powerful. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
A hero; a survivor who overcame a major trauma yet remained strong enough to give it a voice that others may be drawn to strengths. I like how you said it all in just a few words. Powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you Maria I'm glad you like it! Speech things are difficult to talk about but as I throw out each chapter of my life. I find that it takes some power away as difficult as it is to write some things down. I thank you so much for your insight as part of the time and your comments. I appreciate all of it to have yourself a great night!
-
Welcome.
Comment from kahpot
A terrible thing to have to carry around, no matter the circumstances this sort of behavior should never be tolerated, an excellent 3-6-9 on this subject, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
 |
A terrible thing to have to carry around, no matter the circumstances this sort of behavior should never be tolerated, an excellent 3-6-9 on this subject, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for your kind review for your comments and for taking the time to look it over. Thank you also for the awesome stars you gave me wow. I'm very appreciative of that I hope you have a great evening thank you again!
Comment from JT traveller
Another fantastic poem. Intense. Emotive and the visuals are spot on. The chosen image complements your words perfectly. The bold type makes the words pop. I love it! Jacqueline
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
Another fantastic poem. Intense. Emotive and the visuals are spot on. The chosen image complements your words perfectly. The bold type makes the words pop. I love it! Jacqueline
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you I'm really glad you liked that 1. I tried to put heart and soul in these things. But I got a funny one coming up. Thank you so much for your review and for taking the time to comment have a great night!
-
Still enjoying the sunshine in Canggu Bali 😊
-
Nice!
-
I have just written a few more poems while watching the waves crash in. I am not sure about my latest one. I was going to enter it into the tell a story by writing a rhyming poem competition. I fear it is far too gory for this conservative audience. It is about a time my husband and I attended the Phuket Vegetarian festival. All was not as it seemed.
https://youtu.be/gaWedbx7I6M
-
Oh wow that sounds like a story!!
-
I might sleep on it tonight. It is rather intense
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds very much like abuse to me Lea and the deep injustice here which was disguised as some kind of righteousness is appalling and I am sorry you had to suffer at the hands of such a person, a deeply moving write, I wish I had a six left for you, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
This sounds very much like abuse to me Lea and the deep injustice here which was disguised as some kind of righteousness is appalling and I am sorry you had to suffer at the hands of such a person, a deeply moving write, I wish I had a six left for you, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you Dolly...I appreciate your kind words. I really do. Yes it was the same man who hurt me throughout my growing up you never did have to face the consequences. It's gone no imagine the lord has something to do with him. Thank you again dolly have a great Night.
