A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Brave Soul"First Poems
26 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Interesting poem entry for the No Rules Poetry Contest. Thank you for the notes. I read your poem several times and couldn't get the meaning until I read your notes. Some of the phrases don't make sense to me, they went over my head...
Birth weak life Earth
Learn love hate choice
Judge change learn mold
Share split take divide
Send receive mate babe
It's like you left words out.
I like the presentation.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Interesting poem entry for the No Rules Poetry Contest. Thank you for the notes. I read your poem several times and couldn't get the meaning until I read your notes. Some of the phrases don't make sense to me, they went over my head...
Birth weak life Earth
Learn love hate choice
Judge change learn mold
Share split take divide
Send receive mate babe
It's like you left words out.
I like the presentation.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Hi I thank you for your review and I appreciate you find it interesting as this is a new twist for me and I guess an experiment on writing that I wanted to try the poem itself gives me into birth life-and-death talk about all the manufactured in between marriage family children conflict resolution How we learn and where we go and we're done. It is as different for me as it is for the reader as I normally write in a very abstract sort of way. Thank you for your very valuable comments everything everyone says is helpful information to me to have a wonderful day and thank you again!
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Good poem and an enjoyable read. It flows well, and nice artwork. You are right about that. It does take brave souls. Thank you for sharing. Your poem is well written. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Good poem and an enjoyable read. It flows well, and nice artwork. You are right about that. It does take brave souls. Thank you for sharing. Your poem is well written. Nicely done.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review is greatly appreciated your comments a helpful and guide me along the way as honestly this kind of writing or the style I chose is new and kind of a very much an option of the way I normally write so Thank you again and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A selection of poignant words to make your point here Lea, we stumble, we rise, we love and we hate, we try to raise a family and hope to bring some happiness to our lives, I don't think man will ever be perfect, but we have some amazing moments along the way and we cope with the sadness too, we try to be resilient and go down fighting. Your poem is unusual and mechanical, but your message is delivered, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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A selection of poignant words to make your point here Lea, we stumble, we rise, we love and we hate, we try to raise a family and hope to bring some happiness to our lives, I don't think man will ever be perfect, but we have some amazing moments along the way and we cope with the sadness too, we try to be resilient and go down fighting. Your poem is unusual and mechanical, but your message is delivered, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Thank you Dolly! I appreciate your comments as always and look forward to reading more of yours as well. I hope you have a wonderful and fascinating day!
Comment from JT traveller
A fantastic read. To ge honest I thought your author's explanatory notes were even better. Perhaps make them into a poem? Just a suggestion.
Your word choice and the way you have delivered this poem in it's completion is intriguing.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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A fantastic read. To ge honest I thought your author's explanatory notes were even better. Perhaps make them into a poem? Just a suggestion.
Your word choice and the way you have delivered this poem in it's completion is intriguing.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Hi thank you so much for your comments I there are so much appreciated and help me along the Web believe me. The poem for me was an experiment an offshoot of the way I normally write pretty much opposite actually Enjoy pitching words against each other. I wanted to try something different To see how it would go over on the interesting comments I have received so far. I am from my office note I appreciate your comments there too and quite frankly consider putting them into a poem as well thank you for your suggestion hope you have a fabulous day!
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We are the operators of
Our own bodies,
Our own minds.
Only we hold the key.
This life,
A mere ripple on a pond,
A breeze in a tree,
The school bell tolls,
It is three,
We are free.
Etc..
I am no expert, just a suggestion. I , too, am guilty of forcing writing. When I relax and it flows it sounds better toe anyway.
Have a great day.
Jacqueline
Comment from Mintybee
This was an interesting commentary on life. There is not rhyme, meter, grammar. It's largely a list of words that connect in theme, coming across as almost stream of consciousness. It works well for the tone you set in the author's notes. It's a hard thing to do, but you made a string of words into a coherent poem about how we're born largely as a blank slate, grow up physically and in respect to our character, and then depart. Well done.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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This was an interesting commentary on life. There is not rhyme, meter, grammar. It's largely a list of words that connect in theme, coming across as almost stream of consciousness. It works well for the tone you set in the author's notes. It's a hard thing to do, but you made a string of words into a coherent poem about how we're born largely as a blank slate, grow up physically and in respect to our character, and then depart. Well done.
Mintybee
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Wow that's so kind of you thank you it was an experiment to end a trip from the norm on how I and normally write so I'm really gratified that you saw those words to me thank you very much again I hope you have a great day!
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Very succinctly expressed but enough to span a life time! You cover a lot of ground here! The multitude of colours also suggests this. Yet when you get to the end, it is only the beginning!
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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Very succinctly expressed but enough to span a life time! You cover a lot of ground here! The multitude of colours also suggests this. Yet when you get to the end, it is only the beginning!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2023
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Exactly I'm so happy you see that! Thank you so much for your kind review i wasn't sure how it would go since it is the first of a different style from what i normally use.
Thanking you again and I hope you have a wonderful night!