Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Stay young"Musing of an old man
27 total reviews
Comment from jake cosmos aller
Great poem about friendship
love the last stanza
Togetherness is everything
as time stands still while being young
I say, " grasp hold of youth," and sing.
Dream large, no matter how far-flung!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Great poem about friendship
love the last stanza
Togetherness is everything
as time stands still while being young
I say, " grasp hold of youth," and sing.
Dream large, no matter how far-flung!
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Jake, thank you so much.
Comment from karenina
I don't think we really appreciated those days of youthful freedom and innocence. It's nice to revisit it in your poem...
I like the reference to painting a blank canvas... The best "impressions" were made by our childhood friends, after all.
?? on this line: "bring smile's to passerby's who get's it.
Maybe a passerby who gets it or passersby who get it...
(I might have missed that class in grammar though)
I enjoyed the 8 meter in the first stanza, swinging to 9 in the second and back to 8 in the final...
Then, I enjoy most of what you write, to there you have it!
Karenina
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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I don't think we really appreciated those days of youthful freedom and innocence. It's nice to revisit it in your poem...
I like the reference to painting a blank canvas... The best "impressions" were made by our childhood friends, after all.
?? on this line: "bring smile's to passerby's who get's it.
Maybe a passerby who gets it or passersby who get it...
(I might have missed that class in grammar though)
I enjoyed the 8 meter in the first stanza, swinging to 9 in the second and back to 8 in the final...
Then, I enjoy most of what you write, to there you have it!
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Smiles ? most appreciated review, thank you!
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Ah, now that's better! Thanks!
Comment from JT traveller
Beautiful poem. It speaks from the heart as time passes by so quickly. My favourite part,
"...as time stands still while being young
I say, " grasp hold of youth," and sing."
Precisely. Embrace youth as it passes in the blink of an eye.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Beautiful poem. It speaks from the heart as time passes by so quickly. My favourite part,
"...as time stands still while being young
I say, " grasp hold of youth," and sing."
Precisely. Embrace youth as it passes in the blink of an eye.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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JT thank you!🙏
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My pleasure. Jacqueline
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My pleasure. Jacqueline
Comment from Mia Twysted
Dream large indeed. We should all dream big dreams. Youth is something no one ever seems to appreciate until we are older. I guess that is just how it is.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Dream large indeed. We should all dream big dreams. Youth is something no one ever seems to appreciate until we are older. I guess that is just how it is.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Smiles of respect, thank you!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very good poem for the picture of this phone. It reads rather well there is a little bit of a hiccup. In the fourth line on the second stanza. Other than that you make a nice point about the picture itself. Patricia
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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This is a very good poem for the picture of this phone. It reads rather well there is a little bit of a hiccup. In the fourth line on the second stanza. Other than that you make a nice point about the picture itself. Patricia
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Thank you, I reviewed the fourth line thanks Patricia.
Comment from Kaiku
...each one's...
...bring smiles to ...
...who gets it...
I am not the best at punctuation but you might check these lines.
Friendship is a nice thing for sure.
I don't know rhyme and meter very well either
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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...each one's...
...bring smiles to ...
...who gets it...
I am not the best at punctuation but you might check these lines.
Friendship is a nice thing for sure.
I don't know rhyme and meter very well either
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Kaiku, thanks spags safely revised.🤦♂️🤦♂️
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👍
Comment from Sugarray77
Awww, this is so wonderful and such an encouraging verse for young people. Well said, Jim, well said. Great job on the abab end rhyme choices. I enjoyed reading it!!
Melissa
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Awww, this is so wonderful and such an encouraging verse for young people. Well said, Jim, well said. Great job on the abab end rhyme choices. I enjoyed reading it!!
Melissa
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
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Smiles back, dear friend. 🙃🙃