Canceled
Janis is given a task to cancel a problem24 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a nice twist on the hired assassin story. You read a lot about male assassins but a plain female who is a wife and mother is not so common. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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This is a nice twist on the hired assassin story. You read a lot about male assassins but a plain female who is a wife and mother is not so common. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you!
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You are welcome.
Comment from estory
I liked the eerie atmosphere you created so successfully in this post, with this vivid portrait of the woman leading a double life. You painted this picture of her so well living with her husband and child, and hid the hit woman id until the very end. It's also kind of disconcerting that she cheats on her husband so non chalantely. It makes you think, realizing that there are people out there who can live like this, maybe doing this to you, without so much as a drop of a hat. I thought you did a great job with this jarring little story. estory
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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I liked the eerie atmosphere you created so successfully in this post, with this vivid portrait of the woman leading a double life. You painted this picture of her so well living with her husband and child, and hid the hit woman id until the very end. It's also kind of disconcerting that she cheats on her husband so non chalantely. It makes you think, realizing that there are people out there who can live like this, maybe doing this to you, without so much as a drop of a hat. I thought you did a great job with this jarring little story. estory
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much!! I enjoyed writing this short story. May develop it into a novella. Thanks again.
Comment from Thomas Blanks
Notes:
"Janis loaded the dish washer with the used dinnerware..."(dishwasher)
"said, Seat belt please and..." (extra space before "Seat")
"set them a blazed" (should be set them ablaze)
"hoping she won't smell Marcy's perfume." (wouldn't smell)
"states evidence" (state's evidence).
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Notes:
"Janis loaded the dish washer with the used dinnerware..."(dishwasher)
"said, Seat belt please and..." (extra space before "Seat")
"set them a blazed" (should be set them ablaze)
"hoping she won't smell Marcy's perfume." (wouldn't smell)
"states evidence" (state's evidence).
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank for those catches!
Comment from JoannaN
It was a surprising story with a twist. Janis, your protagonist, is at the beginning a seemingly boring wife and mother, but then you surprise us. I initially expected her to be either a victim, or a person who would investigate the case. Well-written and your Janis is not a conventional Mary Sue, this is great :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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It was a surprising story with a twist. Janis, your protagonist, is at the beginning a seemingly boring wife and mother, but then you surprise us. I initially expected her to be either a victim, or a person who would investigate the case. Well-written and your Janis is not a conventional Mary Sue, this is great :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you!
