The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 17"America's First Female Comic
24 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
In this scene 17 from "The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer," the scriptwriter has carefully respelled Fanny's spoken words to embody the southern black dialect Fanny uses. It's a bit of work to read, and this chapter would thrive much more easily with a good pair of actors. It would constitute a good scene, but some of Fanny's speeches might warrant a little shortening, hopefully keeping the power of her words but making the action move ahead more quickly, clearly, and entertainingly. Fanny's speeches over all make a handful of important details for the plot. Can they be made a little more briefly, allowing an actress's expression to fill in some of the places now occupied by words?
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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In this scene 17 from "The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer," the scriptwriter has carefully respelled Fanny's spoken words to embody the southern black dialect Fanny uses. It's a bit of work to read, and this chapter would thrive much more easily with a good pair of actors. It would constitute a good scene, but some of Fanny's speeches might warrant a little shortening, hopefully keeping the power of her words but making the action move ahead more quickly, clearly, and entertainingly. Fanny's speeches over all make a handful of important details for the plot. Can they be made a little more briefly, allowing an actress's expression to fill in some of the places now occupied by words?
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I have pasted a very LOUD, though very SINCERE, thank you to replace the long and personal reply to your and 9 other compelling reviews that I had patiently (and I felt thoughtfully), completed all in a row, only to have them evaporate in the ether-web when I pushed a button other than complete! It's either paste this inane excuse or throw my computer through the sliding-glass door of my office and then borrow my son's computer to send in my resignation to FanStory. I was that frustrated.
I must say, though, that I would be foolhardy not to agree that Fanny's speeches can be effectively shortened. And they will be in a final draft of the entire play.
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Glitches are frustrating. I come up against the ceiling of technology all the time, and spend sometimes hours and days trying to turn an electronic corner. I think it was a Peanuts character who said "Aargh!"
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I disagree for once. Seeing Fanny struggle to remember what she'd been told, and backing it up with the letter is much more effective than direct knowledge would have been. This is perfection. Kate xx
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I disagree for once. Seeing Fanny struggle to remember what she'd been told, and backing it up with the letter is much more effective than direct knowledge would have been. This is perfection. Kate xx
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I have pasted a very LOUD, though very SINCERE, thank you to replace the long and personal reply to your and 9 other compelling reviews that I had patiently (and I felt thoughtfully), completed all in a row, only to have them evaporate in the ether-web when I pushed a button other than complete! It's either paste this inane excuse or throw my computer through the sliding-glass door of my office and then borrow my son's computer to send in my resignation to FanStory. I was that frustrated.
For you ... for your kind scrutiny and your rewarded chartreuse crossed-Band-Aids I want to give you a special thanks beyond the pasting. Surprisingly, you aren't alone. I haven't found one person who agreed with me that it would have been better had Fanny been there at the funeral. That is liberating.
Jay
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Oh no, Jay do not resign. Please, please, please. Even when you come to take your break to push on with publishing, I don't know how I'll manage without you. A bit of cut and paste is fine by me. You have more important things to write than answers to us all... Kate xx
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Oh, goodness! How you make me blush!
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Just stopping by to say hello, as I have very little idea what Miss Fanny is actually saying. But I admire your creativity and ability to do so much with a script.
Cheers!
Erika
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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Just stopping by to say hello, as I have very little idea what Miss Fanny is actually saying. But I admire your creativity and ability to do so much with a script.
Cheers!
Erika
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I have pasted a very LOUD, though very SINCERE, thank you to replace the long and personal reply to your and 9 other compelling reviews that I had patiently (and I felt thoughtfully), completed all in a row, only to have them evaporate in the ether-web when I pushed a button other than complete! It's either paste this inane excuse or throw my computer through the sliding-glass door of my office and then borrow my son's computer to send in my resignation to FanStory. I was that frustrated.
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Copy and Paste reply accepted. We've all been there. Especially me. I was there earlier today, in fact. ;)
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If you could have seen me holding my laptop over my head! It would have made such a lovely collision with my door...
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This isn't a long one, at least not the longest one. I'm used to it with your writing. So uncle Peter tricked Juni inot murdering the murderer of her relative. That put her into jail for eternity. What a rotten deal for her.
Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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This isn't a long one, at least not the longest one. I'm used to it with your writing. So uncle Peter tricked Juni inot murdering the murderer of her relative. That put her into jail for eternity. What a rotten deal for her.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
-
I have pasted a very LOUD, though very SINCERE, thank you to replace the long and personal reply to your and 9 other compelling reviews that I had patiently (and I felt thoughtfully), completed all in a row, only to have them evaporate in the ether-web when I pushed a button other than complete! It's either paste this inane excuse or throw my computer through the sliding-glass door of my office and then borrow my son's computer to send in my resignation to FanStory. I was that frustrated.
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Good that you are joking about resignation to Fanstory. Computer is frustrating so get used to it.