The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Return Chapter 30"Erotic Turmoil
34 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Stunning revelation--a tour de force--dialog is stupendous!
[fabricated lie==>sugg: fabrication or calculated lie]
stared at the document [laying=>lying] on the table,
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Stunning revelation--a tour de force--dialog is stupendous!
[fabricated lie==>sugg: fabrication or calculated lie]
stared at the document [laying=>lying] on the table,
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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I am always getting the lie, lay, lying, laying wrong! I just don't seem to get it to click with my little brain!! Thank you so much for pointing it out. And a big hug for the lovely comments you made!! Not many more to go. So, whodunnit? Any idea? No one has been right so far. Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! What a dynamic scene with a confessional at the end! Great job. I only had a few very minor comments:
demanding my presence as if I was a mere kitchen maid?' [As if I WERE a mere kitchen maid?]
Lady Brandon sprang from hers and slapped Miles around the face. [Two things: Who slapped Miles? If it was his mother, everything's fine. If it was his father, then you need a comma after "hers". In addition ... "around the face, doesn't sound right to me. It means she struck places other than his face.]
Lord Brandon ignored his wife, apart from raising his eyes to the ceiling. [This sentence bothers me. Raising his eyes to the ceiling IS ignoring his wife.]
'This is all your fault! Yours and that pathetic woman you've been obsessed with, even after she died!' [Oh, for a recorder!]
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Wow! What a dynamic scene with a confessional at the end! Great job. I only had a few very minor comments:
demanding my presence as if I was a mere kitchen maid?' [As if I WERE a mere kitchen maid?]
Lady Brandon sprang from hers and slapped Miles around the face. [Two things: Who slapped Miles? If it was his mother, everything's fine. If it was his father, then you need a comma after "hers". In addition ... "around the face, doesn't sound right to me. It means she struck places other than his face.]
Lord Brandon ignored his wife, apart from raising his eyes to the ceiling. [This sentence bothers me. Raising his eyes to the ceiling IS ignoring his wife.]
'This is all your fault! Yours and that pathetic woman you've been obsessed with, even after she died!' [Oh, for a recorder!]
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you so very much for this lovely review, dear Jay, and the pretty gold star!!
Bigger thanks for the great edits. I've sorted them all out, including changing the wording in that scene with Miles' parents. Thank you for pointing them out. You're really kind, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray! Finally, the Brandons realize the trouble they caused, although probably not repentant, they certainly realize the serious legal issue they are in. Good for Miles to stay cool-headed and good for Mr. Cranky to finally desire the truth be made known. He probably felt a lot of guilt over the years. Great job with the dialogue and revelation of the motivations behind the dastardly deeds.
One suggestion:
I feel Miles is pouring out his speech but perhaps this sentence could be better as two: "'Look, whilst you don't come out of this completely blameless and with your integrity intact, you could have said no to the part you played in this, I also know how intimidating my father can be to get his own way."
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Hooray! Finally, the Brandons realize the trouble they caused, although probably not repentant, they certainly realize the serious legal issue they are in. Good for Miles to stay cool-headed and good for Mr. Cranky to finally desire the truth be made known. He probably felt a lot of guilt over the years. Great job with the dialogue and revelation of the motivations behind the dastardly deeds.
One suggestion:
I feel Miles is pouring out his speech but perhaps this sentence could be better as two: "'Look, whilst you don't come out of this completely blameless and with your integrity intact, you could have said no to the part you played in this, I also know how intimidating my father can be to get his own way."
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Helen, I'm glad you enjoyed this part. It was fun to write. I'll take a look at that sentence again. Thanks for pointing that out. Only a few chapters left, so the person who tampered with Meg's saddle will soon be revealed. There has been a few wrong guesses! Lol. Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
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Brava! You're doing a super job with the story, Sandra. Hope you are taking time to rest. Hugs! 💖
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Yes, I'm having a lot of rest. It is taking me the whole week to write each chapter, an hour of so a day is all I can manage. But I am feeling better. Just can't shift the tiredness. It's got to be an age thing! Lol. Actually, that's what my asthma nurse told me! Nothing I can about that. :( xxxx
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Well, my daughter (she's in London now) has the "long Covid" so please take any extra measures to help recover as it may not be just age. But I know everything takes long to recover from.
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I'm so sorry, Helen. How is she coping? I will take care. Graham keeps me in check, and so do my sons. I've never been so coddled and cosseted before! I realise how serious this is, and I do know I'm vulnerable when it comes down to my breathing. COVID has done me no favours there. Thanks for being so caring, my friend. xxx
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I'm so glad you have your husband and son giving you such loving care! In the process, you are bonded even closer. 💖
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You're so right, it's lovely. I've got a lot to be thankful for. I feel as if I have two families, mine at home here, and all of you at FS. It's wonderful. xxx
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That you certainly do, Sandra. And of course, you're so easy to LOVE! 💖😊
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Aww, thank you, I'm off to bed now with the biggest smile on my face. Love you, my friend. xxxxx
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Sweet dreams with healing sleep! 💖💤🌛
Comment from royowen
What a wonderful episode dear Sandra, the fact that he made them realise that they are now in a corner is positive proof that they are both bereft of conscience and humanity, because of bitterness, anger and the supposition of entitlement which might have permeated this generation of privileged classes. You are are very talented writer Sandra, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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What a wonderful episode dear Sandra, the fact that he made them realise that they are now in a corner is positive proof that they are both bereft of conscience and humanity, because of bitterness, anger and the supposition of entitlement which might have permeated this generation of privileged classes. You are are very talented writer Sandra, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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You are so right about Miles' parents, I don't know how they managed to have such a nice son. It's true, that generation were only interested in money and status. Sad really. Thank you so much, dear Roy, for this lovely review, (and the nice compliment, I'm blushing!) Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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Well done
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Wow! Miles' parents really hate each other. They are quite a pair that he has every reason to be ashamed of. Sadly, they have allowed jealousy to turn them into totally disagreeable people that no one really likes. How did they ever raise such a nice son? Now, if only he can convince them to be nice to Meg instead of trying to kill her.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Wow! Miles' parents really hate each other. They are quite a pair that he has every reason to be ashamed of. Sadly, they have allowed jealousy to turn them into totally disagreeable people that no one really likes. How did they ever raise such a nice son? Now, if only he can convince them to be nice to Meg instead of trying to kill her.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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But are they the would be murderers? Miles parents have done this to themselves, they should have talked to each other years ago. Now it's too late. Miles is nice, isn't he? :))
Thank you so much for this lovely review, Carol, I really appreciated it. Have a lovely week, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Shirley McLain
Love this story. I'm sorry I don't have another six for you. I'm glad the truth is out and the Crawley's can get what's coming to them. You did a great job. Enjoy what is left of your Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Love this story. I'm sorry I don't have another six for you. I'm glad the truth is out and the Crawley's can get what's coming to them. You did a great job. Enjoy what is left of your Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Shirley, for reading this chapter, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. No worries about a six! Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Wow!!! I was just getting started, and it ended.
-Well done, Sandra. You couldn't have written it better.
-I liked the conversation between Roger and Miles; it was
nice to see that he had been placed in a difficult position.
-I am glad the two of them are going to work together.
-The scene with the parents was excellent, and Miles handled it just right.
-He didn't back down and had no sympathy for his mother.
-Even Lord Brandon called her out on the carpet and little sympathy, as well.
-Miles did a good job of revealing the evidence that was against them, making sure it was in safe hands in case they tried to do something.
-The ending is very good since Miles had the sense to tell them to stop; I think they might have literally ripped each other apart.
-It seems they might have a different impression of Miles, but whether they can do anything to him or Meg remains in the hands of the writer:):)
I know she won't let us down:):)
-One of your best, Sandra.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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-Wow!!! I was just getting started, and it ended.
-Well done, Sandra. You couldn't have written it better.
-I liked the conversation between Roger and Miles; it was
nice to see that he had been placed in a difficult position.
-I am glad the two of them are going to work together.
-The scene with the parents was excellent, and Miles handled it just right.
-He didn't back down and had no sympathy for his mother.
-Even Lord Brandon called her out on the carpet and little sympathy, as well.
-Miles did a good job of revealing the evidence that was against them, making sure it was in safe hands in case they tried to do something.
-The ending is very good since Miles had the sense to tell them to stop; I think they might have literally ripped each other apart.
-It seems they might have a different impression of Miles, but whether they can do anything to him or Meg remains in the hands of the writer:):)
I know she won't let us down:):)
-One of your best, Sandra.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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That's a good sign!!! Thank you so much, Pam, for this incredible review, I really appreciate it. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter. At the moment, Miles doesn't know Meg's life is in danger, having had all that wiped from his memory. So the next two of three chapters will be an eye opener for him, too. Thanks, my dear friend. Have a wonderful week! Love and hug, Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome, Sandra. That should be a few more great chapters. You have a great week, too.
Comment from aryr
Wow, that was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. Not only did Miles confront Mr. Roger Crankston-Smythe, he actually did the same to his parents -the Lord and Lady Brandon. They quickly realized after their slanderous quips at each other, they were in serious danger. Now Miles knows it all. Amazing and definitely another wow. Hugs!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Wow, that was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. Not only did Miles confront Mr. Roger Crankston-Smythe, he actually did the same to his parents -the Lord and Lady Brandon. They quickly realized after their slanderous quips at each other, they were in serious danger. Now Miles knows it all. Amazing and definitely another wow. Hugs!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thanks so very much for this really lovely review, Alie, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter! Not many parts left. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
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You are so very welcome, Sandra. Hugs!
Comment from damommy
Well! Good for Miles. I hope he exposes everything and they both go to jail. How awful to discover what your parents really are. I just hope nothing happens to Crankston-Smythe and the proof he's been holding.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Well! Good for Miles. I hope he exposes everything and they both go to jail. How awful to discover what your parents really are. I just hope nothing happens to Crankston-Smythe and the proof he's been holding.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you so very much for this lovely review and the sixth gold star, dear SATP. I'm glad you liked the way this chapter went. It won't be long now before the truth is out. There has been some guessing, but so far, no one is right! Lol. Love and hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from Ulla
Oh Sandra, this is a fantastic chapter. I love it I love it. The two are playing up against each other and for every word spoken, they show their true self. You write this so very well, do you know that? What a joy to read. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Oh Sandra, this is a fantastic chapter. I love it I love it. The two are playing up against each other and for every word spoken, they show their true self. You write this so very well, do you know that? What a joy to read. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Aw, Ulla, thank you so much for this amazing review, I'm so glad you enjoyed this part. I haven't many chapters left, so the villain will soon be revealed and Margot's future! Thanks, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx