Goliath's Hard Day
A senryu about David and Goliath30 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and nice presentation, Tina.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-You tell a good story with a few words.
-You show what David tried to do, and
how Goliath ignored his warning.
-A good concluding line.
-A good entry; good luck.
Note: In your description you have haiku,
but a poem about people is a senyru.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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-Good artwork and nice presentation, Tina.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-You tell a good story with a few words.
-You show what David tried to do, and
how Goliath ignored his warning.
-A good concluding line.
-A good entry; good luck.
Note: In your description you have haiku,
but a poem about people is a senyru.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you much! I didn't know that. I appreciate you and this help.
Tina
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Thank you much! I didn't know that. I appreciate you and this help.
Tina
Comment from lyenochka
That's a fun pun you put at the end! Yes, the world can be like Goliath mocking those who believe. But we know we have the Lord on our side and like David, will find the God is our Rock and Redeemer!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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That's a fun pun you put at the end! Yes, the world can be like Goliath mocking those who believe. But we know we have the Lord on our side and like David, will find the God is our Rock and Redeemer!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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You totally went deeper with this and I love that. Yes, our Rock and Redeemer. The world may mock, but can't touch the greatness of our Rock!
Hugs, Helen!
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You totally went deeper with this and I love that. Yes, our Rock and Redeemer. The world may mock, but can't touch the greatness of our Rock!
Hugs, Helen!
Comment from Sally Law
We are living in these days of Goliaths all over the place. Their fates will be the same as the original one. Thank you for this, and for your bold stand, my sister from another mother! God is victorious!
Sending you my best today as always, and a (virtual) six seashells from the sea.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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We are living in these days of Goliaths all over the place. Their fates will be the same as the original one. Thank you for this, and for your bold stand, my sister from another mother! God is victorious!
Sending you my best today as always, and a (virtual) six seashells from the sea.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Aw, Sally, you're too good to me. I love your input of all the Goliaths we face. Yes, Our Rock already and won! Thank you, sis!
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Aw, Sally, you're too good to me. I love your input of all the Goliaths we face. Yes, Our Rock already and won! Thank you, sis!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved this modern message for an age old situation here Tina, your fun approach to this poem made me smile and size does not matter in the battle, it is the determination of the mind that wins the day, and being worthy too, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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I loved this modern message for an age old situation here Tina, your fun approach to this poem made me smile and size does not matter in the battle, it is the determination of the mind that wins the day, and being worthy too, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Yes, Dolly, and I'm so glad we can call on God to defeat foes:) Thank you for reviewing!
Hugs,
Tina
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have really made excellent use of your seventeen syllables in this modern-day wording of an ancient true story from the Bible. Line 3 is very clever.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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You have really made excellent use of your seventeen syllables in this modern-day wording of an ancient true story from the Bible. Line 3 is very clever.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you, much. I love Bible stories:)
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. The sentences flow with clarity. I like it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. The sentences flow with clarity. I like it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thanks!
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You're welcome!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This pleased me because of its slightly tongue-in-cheek nature. I am a sucker for a good play on words, and like my humour subtle. I was well-provided for. Thanks. Kate xx
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This pleased me because of its slightly tongue-in-cheek nature. I am a sucker for a good play on words, and like my humour subtle. I was well-provided for. Thanks. Kate xx
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Haha, I am glad you liked it. I will remember to provide more humor along my writing journey. We can all use it, that's for sure! I appreciate your time and words, as always.
Tina
Comment from Marienkiefer
This is lovely 5-7-5. To the point and great play on words.
Sparkling line: learned the hard way that faith in God rocks.
Clear image, impactful message.
Good luck with the competition.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This is lovely 5-7-5. To the point and great play on words.
Sparkling line: learned the hard way that faith in God rocks.
Clear image, impactful message.
Good luck with the competition.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read this and give me your thoughts!
Tina
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🌸
Comment from Fleedleflump
So... believe in God, or you'll die :-). Lol, sorry couldn't resist. I love the pun in your final line and this is a great use of one of my favourite stories when I was young.
Mike
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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So... believe in God, or you'll die :-). Lol, sorry couldn't resist. I love the pun in your final line and this is a great use of one of my favourite stories when I was young.
Mike
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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haha...that's one way to put it! Or...Watch out if someone has God on their side! Thanks for the review...and the laugh.
Tina
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, Goliath did a lesson on God's power and very quickly. This is a cute entry and I enjoyed reading. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, Goliath did a lesson on God's power and very quickly. This is a cute entry and I enjoyed reading. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Barbara for this nice review. Have a lovely day:)
Tina
