Familiar Faces.
An unexpected meeting with old friends.25 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so also grateful for your notes on as it made me e understand the scope of the story. I really liked it, full of Irish folklore. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
  |
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so also grateful for your notes on as it made me e understand the scope of the story. I really liked it, full of Irish folklore. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
Thank you for your time and the stars.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This story has a lot of potential. It is a clear story until the characters get inside the pub. At that point I am unsure what is happening in the plot. I don't know why the characters are crying. The first line of the story needs to have space between the visual. The visual is okay, but the main setting is a pub, so perhaps a visual of a pub is better. The word landlady should be one word.
The font size needs to be larger, so it is easier to read. Many on this site are seniors and are more apt to read an entry they can readily see. I wish you luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
 |
This story has a lot of potential. It is a clear story until the characters get inside the pub. At that point I am unsure what is happening in the plot. I don't know why the characters are crying. The first line of the story needs to have space between the visual. The visual is okay, but the main setting is a pub, so perhaps a visual of a pub is better. The word landlady should be one word.
The font size needs to be larger, so it is easier to read. Many on this site are seniors and are more apt to read an entry they can readily see. I wish you luck in the competition.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
Thank you for your comments. DIfferent readers have taken it different ways--which I find interesting. I appreciate your thoughts
-
We are all different. You are welcome.
Comment from royowen
I think I was as confused as our protagonist was, but I get it now, it is probably an unfamiliar tale, the Irish are a religious people by nature, and tend to be sectarian with their denominationalism, which is strange to me, being a believer but have no denomination, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
|
I think I was as confused as our protagonist was, but I get it now, it is probably an unfamiliar tale, the Irish are a religious people by nature, and tend to be sectarian with their denominationalism, which is strange to me, being a believer but have no denomination, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
It is a cryptic tale. I am glad you appreciated it.
-
Good job
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
So glad you explained in your author's note what a Morrigan is and what it stands for. Then the story made more sense, but I still have a couple of questions: How is a leprechaun smile different than any other smile? I assume it is Charlie's smile the protagonist knows "so well," and not the leprechaun smile. :) The dialogue is well done, with just enough ambiguity to set a tone of eeriness to the story. But, I wonder, who is Patrick and who is "her?" I think it would be good to tell the reader why the protagonist shouldn't see them. Does it mean they are not yet dead? I assumed the story is about seeing old friends who are dead, but the protagonist doesn't know they are dead until near the end? I also think it would be good to tell the reader why the coins given the protagonist by the Morrigan will be useful and when?
There was also one small typo:
"Come back when you have need of them Now be on your way." You left out a period and a comma. Come back....them. Now, be on your way.
Good luck in the contest, you've created an intriguing story of a supernatural encounter.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
|
So glad you explained in your author's note what a Morrigan is and what it stands for. Then the story made more sense, but I still have a couple of questions: How is a leprechaun smile different than any other smile? I assume it is Charlie's smile the protagonist knows "so well," and not the leprechaun smile. :) The dialogue is well done, with just enough ambiguity to set a tone of eeriness to the story. But, I wonder, who is Patrick and who is "her?" I think it would be good to tell the reader why the protagonist shouldn't see them. Does it mean they are not yet dead? I assumed the story is about seeing old friends who are dead, but the protagonist doesn't know they are dead until near the end? I also think it would be good to tell the reader why the coins given the protagonist by the Morrigan will be useful and when?
There was also one small typo:
"Come back when you have need of them Now be on your way." You left out a period and a comma. Come back....them. Now, be on your way.
Good luck in the contest, you've created an intriguing story of a supernatural encounter.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
To answer who the two unseen characters even closer to the protagonist and the others. I they were to all be togther, she might not have been able to leave. Probably a bit to obscure in so short a tale.
I suspect it is more likely that the protagonist does not know she is still living til the end.
Thank you for pointing out the typos. Hard to see past what ou expect sometimes!
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a rendezvous of seemingly mysterious people, who make their gathering in an evil hour peculiar to them.
The work highlights the protagonist's not too good encounter with Charlie, Will and the pub's land lady, which smacks of an hour spent with Morrigan.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with "Tales of the Unexpected World."
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
|
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a rendezvous of seemingly mysterious people, who make their gathering in an evil hour peculiar to them.
The work highlights the protagonist's not too good encounter with Charlie, Will and the pub's land lady, which smacks of an hour spent with Morrigan.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with "Tales of the Unexpected World."
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
-
Thank you. I am glad you found these qualities in my work and appreciate you mentining them.
-
Remain Blessed.
-
Thank you.
