The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Return Chapter 24"Erotic Turmoil
35 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Bessie has an idea, and Miles has some thinking to do.
your chapter in the book The Return
The Return Chapter 24
sandramitchell
I'm still getting to know who is who in your well thought out novel
There are parts that got my attention, which is the last paragraph of your chapter--
When Lady Gwendolyn cane to see Margaret and told and told that
' I've come here myself because I believe it's the decent thing to do. I'm sorry to have to inform you, but your brother died suddenly. Obviously, because you were estranged, you weren't mentioned in his will.' She looked around the room. 'But it seems you've been kept quite comfortable here. I won't delay you any longer. You will receive a message regarding the funeral in due time.' With that, she turned on her heel and walked out the room.
My question who is this Lady Gwendolyn?
Gert
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Bessie has an idea, and Miles has some thinking to do.
your chapter in the book The Return
The Return Chapter 24
sandramitchell
I'm still getting to know who is who in your well thought out novel
There are parts that got my attention, which is the last paragraph of your chapter--
When Lady Gwendolyn cane to see Margaret and told and told that
' I've come here myself because I believe it's the decent thing to do. I'm sorry to have to inform you, but your brother died suddenly. Obviously, because you were estranged, you weren't mentioned in his will.' She looked around the room. 'But it seems you've been kept quite comfortable here. I won't delay you any longer. You will receive a message regarding the funeral in due time.' With that, she turned on her heel and walked out the room.
My question who is this Lady Gwendolyn?
Gert
.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Hi Gert, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I'm glad you like my story. Lady Gwendolyn is Meg's sister-in-law, a nasty lady who has murdered her father and her husband Richard, Meg's brother. She doesn't like Meg, either, so she is another person that Margot and Bessie will watch. I hope that helps? Warm hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
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Thank you very much Sandra, yes my friend you explaing who is who indeed helps in your in excellent novel--
The Return.
Gert
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Sandra you are most welcome.
And thank you for explaining who is who in your excellent novel
The Return.
Gert
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Thank YOU, my friend!! Love and hugs xxx Sandra
Comment from Shirley McLain
Another excellent chapter to read. It was full of tension and certainly kept me reading, not that I needed prompting. You did a great job. Enjoy your evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Another excellent chapter to read. It was full of tension and certainly kept me reading, not that I needed prompting. You did a great job. Enjoy your evening. Shirley
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Shirley, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, and I'm even happier to see you back. Thank you also for the golden star, that is so nice of you. I've just noticed you've posted a new chapter, I'm off to read that now!! Warm hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from lyenochka
Oh that sister-in-law of Meg was quite an awful character! What an abrupt message. At least, she didn't attempt any bodily harm.
Sounds like Bessie has a good plan. Hope it works out.
I wished I could have heard Margot's speech directly. I wondered if Bessie gave a little speech coaching. Certainly, a modern woman like Margot could have the presence of mind to give a speech like that unlike a woman of Meg's time. Another great chapter!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Oh that sister-in-law of Meg was quite an awful character! What an abrupt message. At least, she didn't attempt any bodily harm.
Sounds like Bessie has a good plan. Hope it works out.
I wished I could have heard Margot's speech directly. I wondered if Bessie gave a little speech coaching. Certainly, a modern woman like Margot could have the presence of mind to give a speech like that unlike a woman of Meg's time. Another great chapter!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Helen. I'm glad you liked this chapter. I did think of having a part of this chapter with Margot's speech, but decided to go this way. There were many strong minded women of that era and earlier. The suffragette movement began in the 1850s, and don't forget Florence Nightingale. I think my Meg would be, too. She's already sleeping with Miles. But when the book is finished, and I start the big edit, there might be some places I've already considered changing a bit, that might be one of them. I do take a lot of what you say into consideration. Thanks again, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ric Myworld
I think your name covers Lady Gwendolyn quit well, and it seems you could use a host of others to label some of the other characters too. They seem to show up in stories and in our everyday live. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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I think your name covers Lady Gwendolyn quit well, and it seems you could use a host of others to label some of the other characters too. They seem to show up in stories and in our everyday live. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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I've never had so many 'baddies' in my books before, Ric! Where are they coming from? 😂 Thank you so much, my friend, for this lovely review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Love and hug, Sandra xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I think maybe Margot and Bessie should keep a keen eye on Gwendolyn. She has already killed to get what she wanted and will not be afraid to do it again. Usually it is someone out to make a fortune. Yes, Greed is always a strong motive for murder and so is Jealousy. Not everyone is capable of Murder though. Good Job, Sandra. Nancy:)xxxx
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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I think maybe Margot and Bessie should keep a keen eye on Gwendolyn. She has already killed to get what she wanted and will not be afraid to do it again. Usually it is someone out to make a fortune. Yes, Greed is always a strong motive for murder and so is Jealousy. Not everyone is capable of Murder though. Good Job, Sandra. Nancy:)xxxx
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Well, we've got rid of one suspect, thanks to Gwendolyn and her faithful butler. But now we have her, Lord Brandon and...
Thank you so much for this lovely review, my dear Nancy, and a humongous hug for the golden star. You're such a lovely lady! Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an excellent chapter, Sandra. What a surprise to learn Meg had spoken up and calmed all the guests while Miles dealt with his father. Now we are wondering what Gwendolyn is up to, other than trying to claim the estate of her murdered husband. Well done.
One little grammar error: "Hmm, there's one thing neither of us have(has) considered," neither is a singular subject in this sentence. The 'one' is implied, thus the singular form of the verb is necessary.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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This is an excellent chapter, Sandra. What a surprise to learn Meg had spoken up and calmed all the guests while Miles dealt with his father. Now we are wondering what Gwendolyn is up to, other than trying to claim the estate of her murdered husband. Well done.
One little grammar error: "Hmm, there's one thing neither of us have(has) considered," neither is a singular subject in this sentence. The 'one' is implied, thus the singular form of the verb is necessary.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for picking up that error, Judy! I've made the correction, and hope that lesson stays inside my brain!! It's not the first time I've made that mistake. ☹️
Thank you for this lovely review, and the golden star, I do so appreciate both so much. The possible murderers are lining up. We wait to see who is the one who wants Meg gone the most. Thank you again, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
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You're most welcome, Sandra. I know it's difficult to remember these little grammar rules if they weren't pounded into your brain from childhood. Too often I see them in published books by popular authors as well. Let me know if you get tired of me reminding you. :) Hugs.
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That will never happen, Judy!! You are my little diamond! xx
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Thanks! I'm humbled. :)
Comment from Jay Squires
You flat nailed it, Lass! Things be ramping up nicely!
Wow, you were so wise, Sandra, to have us hear of Margot's "speech" from the mouth of Joshua, instead of dramatizing it yourself. Sometimes the indirectness (especially following Miles' observation the moment he walked into the room again) can be even more effective. Shakespeare used that "devise" to good effect in his plays, having a minor player relay the actual drama to the major character (and of course, the reader). But you know all that.]
Margot nodded, wishing more than ever that she was Meg. [Ah, and for a moment, even the reader becomes aware that "Margot" can never be enough until the magical transformation is effected.]
'Oh Lordy, no! [I wonder, though, and I'm probably all wrong, but for the sake of the tension, should Bessie close the door on the point of danger so abruptly, as opposed to saying something more "cloudy" like "that's why I told you to be careful!" (in her own adorable accent, of course).]
That's not allowed. [Aha! That's a fabulous insight into Bessie's mission. She can almost be viewed as that wonderful, mischievous angel, Clarence, in "It's a Wonderful Life."]
Meg could be murdered any time now!' [Good! Ignore my earlier remark. I shoulda known, you had it well in hand.]
'We know nothing!' [Ha! Sounds like Colonel Klink from "Hogan's Heroes"]
This is one of your best chapters, Sandra!
Jay
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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You flat nailed it, Lass! Things be ramping up nicely!
Wow, you were so wise, Sandra, to have us hear of Margot's "speech" from the mouth of Joshua, instead of dramatizing it yourself. Sometimes the indirectness (especially following Miles' observation the moment he walked into the room again) can be even more effective. Shakespeare used that "devise" to good effect in his plays, having a minor player relay the actual drama to the major character (and of course, the reader). But you know all that.]
Margot nodded, wishing more than ever that she was Meg. [Ah, and for a moment, even the reader becomes aware that "Margot" can never be enough until the magical transformation is effected.]
'Oh Lordy, no! [I wonder, though, and I'm probably all wrong, but for the sake of the tension, should Bessie close the door on the point of danger so abruptly, as opposed to saying something more "cloudy" like "that's why I told you to be careful!" (in her own adorable accent, of course).]
That's not allowed. [Aha! That's a fabulous insight into Bessie's mission. She can almost be viewed as that wonderful, mischievous angel, Clarence, in "It's a Wonderful Life."]
Meg could be murdered any time now!' [Good! Ignore my earlier remark. I shoulda known, you had it well in hand.]
'We know nothing!' [Ha! Sounds like Colonel Klink from "Hogan's Heroes"]
This is one of your best chapters, Sandra!
Jay
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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What a wonderful, amazing review, Jay! You always manage to make me smile. You say the nicest things, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! The golden sixth star is lovely, but not as glorious as this review. Thank you! Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Well, this is a very interesting turn of events. I didn't expect this. Of course, we know Gwendolyn poisoned him. I look forward to your posts.
Margot nodded, wishing more than ever that she was Meg. (omit 'that')
Bessie grinned. 'I's thinking we'll wait until after Jane has been and helped you dress--' (has been in or has been here????)
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Well, this is a very interesting turn of events. I didn't expect this. Of course, we know Gwendolyn poisoned him. I look forward to your posts.
Margot nodded, wishing more than ever that she was Meg. (omit 'that')
Bessie grinned. 'I's thinking we'll wait until after Jane has been and helped you dress--' (has been in or has been here????)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for the lovely review and the shiny six stars!! And thank you for picking up on thr missing word. I've sorted it now. Warm hugs, my friend!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Thank you for letting us know this is written in UK English. It saves a lot of guess work and false findings.
Para 2, 10th sentence: add comma after "So"
Para 13, 3rd sentence: PERHAPS "personally take" instead of "take personally"
Para 19, 3rd sentence: add comma after "saying"
Para 25: change "was" to "were"
Para 26, 1st sentence: remove comma after "morning"
Para 26, 3rd sentence: remove comma after "it"
Para 30, 4th sentence: remove comma after "frowned"
Para 31, 2d sentence: remove comma after "forewarned"
Para 32: add a period after "Mr" I believe even UK English dictates that proper pronouns be designated so.
Para 35: same as Para 32
Para 36: remove comma after "on"
Para 37: I THINK you meant "been here" instead of "been"
Para 39: remove comma after "that"
Para 42: remove comma after "parcel"
Para 43: PERHAPS "Brandon, and/or" rather than "Brandon, and, or,"
Para 48: hyphenate "first person" = "first-person"
Para 51: remove comma after "coming"
Last two paragraphs in characters have four instances of "Mr" with no period.
Consider changing your use of single quote marks (') to double quote marks (") throughout the article.
This is a very complicated and deeply thought out plot line. Your efforts show through. I know I wrote a lot of observations but only to possibly make the story read better and clearer for all. They are all minor and as such they don't affect the rating you deserve for such an intertwined story.
I know I read another installment, I recognize the characters. I will have to go to your profile and see what I can make of the rest of this continuing saga.
Very well written and thought out.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thank you for letting us know this is written in UK English. It saves a lot of guess work and false findings.
Para 2, 10th sentence: add comma after "So"
Para 13, 3rd sentence: PERHAPS "personally take" instead of "take personally"
Para 19, 3rd sentence: add comma after "saying"
Para 25: change "was" to "were"
Para 26, 1st sentence: remove comma after "morning"
Para 26, 3rd sentence: remove comma after "it"
Para 30, 4th sentence: remove comma after "frowned"
Para 31, 2d sentence: remove comma after "forewarned"
Para 32: add a period after "Mr" I believe even UK English dictates that proper pronouns be designated so.
Para 35: same as Para 32
Para 36: remove comma after "on"
Para 37: I THINK you meant "been here" instead of "been"
Para 39: remove comma after "that"
Para 42: remove comma after "parcel"
Para 43: PERHAPS "Brandon, and/or" rather than "Brandon, and, or,"
Para 48: hyphenate "first person" = "first-person"
Para 51: remove comma after "coming"
Last two paragraphs in characters have four instances of "Mr" with no period.
Consider changing your use of single quote marks (') to double quote marks (") throughout the article.
This is a very complicated and deeply thought out plot line. Your efforts show through. I know I wrote a lot of observations but only to possibly make the story read better and clearer for all. They are all minor and as such they don't affect the rating you deserve for such an intertwined story.
I know I read another installment, I recognize the characters. I will have to go to your profile and see what I can make of the rest of this continuing saga.
Very well written and thought out.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for reading this chapter, Gary, I really appreciate all the time you've given it. I'm going to copy and past your suggestions to my MS Word copy and go through them.
There two that don't apply in UK English grammar...
1) We don't use a full-stop (period) after Mr, Mrs, Dr, or St, and never have used them.
2) Single quotes, to double quotes. The UK uses single quotes, not double. We have a few other differences to the American way.
We have to be different!!! Lol.
Thanks again, my friend. I shall now go through the other edits you've kindly helped me with. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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I'm always trying to update myself on the UK v US differences. So, I have stopped flagging some things like "favour" and colour" and several others. But the "period" after proper pronouns is new to me so that helps me to. And the single quote thing surprises me too, but, hey, now I know.
Thanks, for your review of my review. LOL
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We seem to teach each other on here. I'm making some corrections from the edits you did for me. I am always, without exception, happy when someone takes the time to help me with my writing. So, don't stop! There are a few English authors here, so you'll come across those 'errors' again. Thanks, Gary. 😊
Comment from Ulla
Now, this is an interesting turn of events. A lot seems to be happening all at once and I agree that Meg/Margot and Bessie have to be on the highest alert. It's such an intriguing story you have created here, Sandra. I absolutely adore it. Big hugs, Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Now, this is an interesting turn of events. A lot seems to be happening all at once and I agree that Meg/Margot and Bessie have to be on the highest alert. It's such an intriguing story you have created here, Sandra. I absolutely adore it. Big hugs, Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much, Ulla, for this fabulous review and that shiny star! You know how to put a smile on my face!! 🥰Yes, the time is drawing nearer for the big confrontation. The murderer has to do something soon! Have a wonderful week, my friend! Love and hugs, Sandra xx