Go Away Please
An unwelcome guest50 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
this is an excellent take on the prompt. I loved the way the cats were all so obviously 'up in arms' and yet obviously totally unsure as to how to defend their territory. Good job you went down.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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this is an excellent take on the prompt. I loved the way the cats were all so obviously 'up in arms' and yet obviously totally unsure as to how to defend their territory. Good job you went down.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. Most cats are smart enough to avoid skunks. Not so with dogs. My dog got sprayed a couple of times. Hugs
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story had me on the edge of my seat, especially when the protagonist decided to go downstairs and take matters into her own hands. The story is short, succinct, with realistic dialogue, as it builds in suspense. It has a great twist ending. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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This story had me on the edge of my seat, especially when the protagonist decided to go downstairs and take matters into her own hands. The story is short, succinct, with realistic dialogue, as it builds in suspense. It has a great twist ending. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. I love to write short, funny stories with surprise endings. Hugs.
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed your well-written story. Your beginning sparked my interest and quickly moved the story along, giving the obstacle of your husband. Finally, you had a delightful ending.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed your well-written story. Your beginning sparked my interest and quickly moved the story along, giving the obstacle of your husband. Finally, you had a delightful ending.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you and thanks for the six stars. I love to write funny stories with surprise endings. I wish my muse would send them my way more often. Hugs
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
An unwelcome guest or intruder or a killer or unwanted person instead of cats or a skunk, none and nothing, the story is a humour fiction; the story has all elements but clarity; I like; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Sick Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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An unwelcome guest or intruder or a killer or unwanted person instead of cats or a skunk, none and nothing, the story is a humour fiction; the story has all elements but clarity; I like; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Sick Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. Getting a great review from you always pleases me. You are one of the good, honest reviewers on this site. Hugs
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I suspected who your intruder was before I got to the ending. Living in the country we get a lot of them. That's why we never leave our doors open because they are as curious as Cats and believe me they stink just as bad when they walk past an open window in the summer. It's as if they were in your house. UGH! What a terrible odor! Well done, my friend. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I suspected who your intruder was before I got to the ending. Living in the country we get a lot of them. That's why we never leave our doors open because they are as curious as Cats and believe me they stink just as bad when they walk past an open window in the summer. It's as if they were in your house. UGH! What a terrible odor! Well done, my friend. Nancy:)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. We have lots of the little stinkers around here. My cats stay away from them but one got my dog once. Hugs
Comment from JoannaN
This is a gripping story. It is a bit spooky at the end, creepy in the middle, and in the end, we receive a funny surprise. Skunks are, indeed, never welcome (the funny thing is, some people actually keep them as household animals :) )
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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This is a gripping story. It is a bit spooky at the end, creepy in the middle, and in the end, we receive a funny surprise. Skunks are, indeed, never welcome (the funny thing is, some people actually keep them as household animals :) )
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. Actually, I had a baby skunk for a short time. It disappeared when I was in town one day. I suspect my husband let it out of its cage. Hugs
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
I enjoyed this short story, though the suspense regarding the identity of the intruder was spoiled by having read the author note first. I never know if it's best to read it first (so my comments will follow the rules of the prompt) or if I should wait till after I read the piece. In this case I should have waited. Still the story is well written and engaging. It gets more interesting after what might be an over-long intro establishing who went to check on the noise. The best part starts after this sentence: "The cats are on the counter, hair on end, staring at the intruder standing in the middle of the kitchen floor."
If you used the full 600 word maximum, I would suggest shortening the intro/set-up.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed this short story, though the suspense regarding the identity of the intruder was spoiled by having read the author note first. I never know if it's best to read it first (so my comments will follow the rules of the prompt) or if I should wait till after I read the piece. In this case I should have waited. Still the story is well written and engaging. It gets more interesting after what might be an over-long intro establishing who went to check on the noise. The best part starts after this sentence: "The cats are on the counter, hair on end, staring at the intruder standing in the middle of the kitchen floor."
If you used the full 600 word maximum, I would suggest shortening the intro/set-up.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. I wouldn't have used quite so many words but I had to get to at least 400 words or be disqualified. Maybe I will take the footnotes out if they are giving away the plot. What do you think? This just makes the 400 which is the fewest words I can use. Hugs
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Keeping with the prompts word count sometimes causes writing pieces to be over-long or too short for their own perfection..... but I totally understand that this comes with the territory (FanStory).
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I took the skunk out of the footnotes. It did give the ending away. Thanks for pointing that out to me.
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Might I suggest adding to the part with the skunk with details of the kitchen, the sounds, or something else to lengthen it and thus be able to shorten the intro section a bit.
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Too late now, the time to enter the contest is up and the contest committee is reviewing it.
Comment from Terry Broxson
An excellent entry for this prompt! I knew it was going to be something a little unusual and a skunk certainly does qualify. I must say my wife would have thought I was the skunk for not getting up to check it out! Good work. Terry.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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An excellent entry for this prompt! I knew it was going to be something a little unusual and a skunk certainly does qualify. I must say my wife would have thought I was the skunk for not getting up to check it out! Good work. Terry.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. I appreciate the time you took to read this. Hugs
Comment from BethShelby
I can't imagine leaving a door open a crack at night. That could invite anything inside. This sound like a true story but it is listed as fiction. My mom had a skunk that was able to get into the kitchen through an opening under the sink but that was taking a chance. Cute story but a noise of something falling in the kitchen would have freaked me out.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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I can't imagine leaving a door open a crack at night. That could invite anything inside. This sound like a true story but it is listed as fiction. My mom had a skunk that was able to get into the kitchen through an opening under the sink but that was taking a chance. Cute story but a noise of something falling in the kitchen would have freaked me out.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. You learn not to freak out when you have cats in the house. I have a dog and six cats. The dog will let me know if anything serious is going on. Hugs
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Pretttybluebird a good day to you. I hope all is well. I enjoyed your story, it was written well and had a little suspense and twist to it. I was sure it was a robber, but a skunk? You got me! Good job and good luck!
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Hello Pretttybluebird a good day to you. I hope all is well. I enjoyed your story, it was written well and had a little suspense and twist to it. I was sure it was a robber, but a skunk? You got me! Good job and good luck!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2022
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Thank you. It was afun story to write. Hugs.
