The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Return Chapter 12"Erotic Turmoil
35 total reviews
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. Poor Gwendolyn really does hate a hate on for Meg. I can't imagine that she would be hung up so on her father's picture and Richard's picture, well I guess I can. She has an inferior complex with both of them and with the idea that hemlock grew in the garden. It was also interesting to learn that Lord Brandon wasn't all that honest. (smiles)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
  |
This was a great continuation chapter, Sandra. Poor Gwendolyn really does hate a hate on for Meg. I can't imagine that she would be hung up so on her father's picture and Richard's picture, well I guess I can. She has an inferior complex with both of them and with the idea that hemlock grew in the garden. It was also interesting to learn that Lord Brandon wasn't all that honest. (smiles)
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, Ali, for this lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. Ah, dear Lord Brandon, secrets coming out of the closet there. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
-
You are most welcome, Sandra. Warm hugs.
Comment from damommy
I think putting it in fantasy is fine. So, the money wasn't lost gambling. Must have been women or bad investments. I like the homey touch of miles going in the kitchen and fixing his own tea.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
 |
I think putting it in fantasy is fine. So, the money wasn't lost gambling. Must have been women or bad investments. I like the homey touch of miles going in the kitchen and fixing his own tea.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, dear SATP, for this lovely review, and a humongous hug for the sixth star. I'm glad you liked this part. Lots coming up!! Love and hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pantygynt
Another excellent chapter that increases our knowledge and experience of the characters rather than moving plot forward. I fancy that will be made clearer next time when it looks as though we will learn the truth about Meg's father's financial losses.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
Another excellent chapter that increases our knowledge and experience of the characters rather than moving plot forward. I fancy that will be made clearer next time when it looks as though we will learn the truth about Meg's father's financial losses.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Yes, there is a big surprise in store. Not one that will please some. :)) Don't you just love it when a plan comes together? Lol. Thanks so much for the sixth star, my dear friend. Chat in the week? :)) Sandra xxx
-
I sent an email. Chat Tuesday 2.00pm?
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another skillfully crafted chapter, Sandra. I have no idea what Bessie is getting Margot into, but so far it all seems harmless. I'll anxiously await Bessie's revelation details.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
This is another skillfully crafted chapter, Sandra. I have no idea what Bessie is getting Margot into, but so far it all seems harmless. I'll anxiously await Bessie's revelation details.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, Judy, what a lovely compliment. I'm glad you are still enjoying my story. There are some awful revelations coming up, so stay tuned. :) Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
-
You are most welcome, Sandra.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Sandra this was an interesting chapter and I enjoyed it very much. It sounds like Gwen might have a guilty conscience when she can't look a portrait in the eyes. LOL How did he lose his fortune? I'm sure that you will enlighten us next time for now I must go. Hugs Nancy:)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
Sandra this was an interesting chapter and I enjoyed it very much. It sounds like Gwen might have a guilty conscience when she can't look a portrait in the eyes. LOL How did he lose his fortune? I'm sure that you will enlighten us next time for now I must go. Hugs Nancy:)
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
How did he lose his fortune? That is the question!! LOL Thank you, Nancy, for another lovely review, I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
Yesterday my eyes were so bad I had trouble concentrating on the story. You were the last one. I have to pick and choose what I review so it isn't easy. Hugs. Nancy:)
Comment from blondie560
Hi Sandra! You left a nice cliffhanger this week! I'm still trying to figure out just who Bessie is. She knows everything and where to look, but she wasn't around to save Meg from her accident. She is fun though. One thing I noticed was this part was in quotations - 'With her face revealing all the hate she'd felt for him, she stared once more at her father's portrait, before turning and walking out of the room with her newly filled glass.'
Can't wait now till next week to find out what Bessie found. Have a lovely week! Hugs:) Sally
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
Hi Sandra! You left a nice cliffhanger this week! I'm still trying to figure out just who Bessie is. She knows everything and where to look, but she wasn't around to save Meg from her accident. She is fun though. One thing I noticed was this part was in quotations - 'With her face revealing all the hate she'd felt for him, she stared once more at her father's portrait, before turning and walking out of the room with her newly filled glass.'
Can't wait now till next week to find out what Bessie found. Have a lovely week! Hugs:) Sally
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
The next chapter will be a real humdinger! Lol. Thank you so much, Dear Sally, for this wonderful review, and the golden star, and also, a big hug for noticing those errant speach tags!! All gone! You have a wonderful week, too, dear friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-You took us on a great tour.
-The scene with Gwendolyn was almost eerie.
-It is obvious she has some problems, and who can blame her.
-She hates her father and Richard.
-She loves the whiskey, though.
-While she isn't appreciated by these men, she has a brain and reveals her interest in planting and growing hemlock so she is smarter than they gave her credit for.
-I thought it was interesting that Margot was so tired, and I wondered how that came about. It sounds like Bessie wanted to snoop alone.
She is one mysterious ghost!
-The scene with Miles and Jane was very good, and shows how class makes a difference, but Miles didn't see it that way, but Jane was uncomfortable with him in the kitchen.
-Miles also seems to have some mysterious mission for the day, too.
-Excellent description of Lord Brandon's mansion, showing true class and elegance vs. the home of Richard.
-A very interesting ending leaving us wondering how Meg's father lost his money.
-Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-You took us on a great tour.
-The scene with Gwendolyn was almost eerie.
-It is obvious she has some problems, and who can blame her.
-She hates her father and Richard.
-She loves the whiskey, though.
-While she isn't appreciated by these men, she has a brain and reveals her interest in planting and growing hemlock so she is smarter than they gave her credit for.
-I thought it was interesting that Margot was so tired, and I wondered how that came about. It sounds like Bessie wanted to snoop alone.
She is one mysterious ghost!
-The scene with Miles and Jane was very good, and shows how class makes a difference, but Miles didn't see it that way, but Jane was uncomfortable with him in the kitchen.
-Miles also seems to have some mysterious mission for the day, too.
-Excellent description of Lord Brandon's mansion, showing true class and elegance vs. the home of Richard.
-A very interesting ending leaving us wondering how Meg's father lost his money.
-Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much, Pam, for another really lovely detailed review, and all the stars to go with it! I really appreciate them both. I had to get across that Margot isn't a ghost, or what Bessie is, she's still needs to rest. Things will start to change now. It's all good fun, isn't it! Lol. Thanks, dear friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. Your explanation makes sense, and I hadn't thought about it.
Comment from Begin Again
Good morning, my friend....
Another beautiful and well-thought-out chapter. You gave the reader just enough knowledge of the characters to scream they want more... I love how Gwendolyn felt her father's eyes staring at her and your description of her unstable personality was quite evident in your writing.
I am more than a little curious to know exactly how the father lost his money if it wasn't gambling. On pins and needles until the next chapter.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
Good morning, my friend....
Another beautiful and well-thought-out chapter. You gave the reader just enough knowledge of the characters to scream they want more... I love how Gwendolyn felt her father's eyes staring at her and your description of her unstable personality was quite evident in your writing.
I am more than a little curious to know exactly how the father lost his money if it wasn't gambling. On pins and needles until the next chapter.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Hi Carol, how are you? I'm missing your stories.
Thank you for this lovely review, and the golden star!! I'm delighted you are still reading my story and enjoying it. That is so encouraging. There is more coming, not very pleasant, either!! Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
I needed that hug! But there was no way I was going to miss your post. Love and hugs, Carol
-
Aw, bless your lovely heart. I wish I could make things better for you. Pm me and let me know how you are ... really are! Love back, my friend. xxx
Comment from lancellot
The mysteries thicken. Patricide is never an easy topic but during those time, and how women were treated like property, even unwanted property, I can see it. Many people, men never notice flowers or their importance.
You a great job, shadowing the readers thoughts about invisibility and the issues that come with with it. Nice mini cliff hanger at the end too.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
The mysteries thicken. Patricide is never an easy topic but during those time, and how women were treated like property, even unwanted property, I can see it. Many people, men never notice flowers or their importance.
You a great job, shadowing the readers thoughts about invisibility and the issues that come with with it. Nice mini cliff hanger at the end too.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, Lancellot, for another lovely review, and golden star, that is so nice of you.
Yes, women didn't have it very good in those days. If your were rich, your father arranged your marriage, like it or not. If you were poor, you had more of a say.
I'm glad you enjoyed this part and the ending. Surprises coming in the next chapter. Thanks again, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi sandra,
another good strong continuation of the piece here as we get to see some more of Gwendolyn's character and a good stopping off point.
those blistering orbs would be looking straight at her. - super description here.
Okay, I'm just going to mention this. The whiskey - she poured a small amount and then takes a sip, large mouthful and then a large gulp - doesn't sound too small a measure to me.
'With her face revealing all the hate she'd felt for him, she stared once more at her father's portrait, before turning and walking out of the room with her newly filled glass.'- remove the speech tags, it's not dialogue.
he'd left his clothes and other personal items.' - delete the closing speech mark here.
How comes 'e be knowin' me name? Oh, Cookie, 'urry up an' come. - I'm not sold on the idea of jumping into this young girl's direct thoughts... another character deep pov. Maybe there's a better way of working this in such as having her look around for Cook's entrance or suchlike. It could get messy quickly with head-hopping. (especially given this appears to be a minor character and not a main player). A few paragraphs later we jump into Miles' thoughts and our main character up to this point has only been Margot for this.
Just something to think about. Convention would say only do this for one character per chapter if you're using multiple pov.
She climbed out of bed, climbed, being the operative word.- I wouldn't have the second comma here after climbed.
Lady Brandon watched over everything, right down to the oil lamps and the smallest candle.' - delete the speech mark at the end.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
|
Hi sandra,
another good strong continuation of the piece here as we get to see some more of Gwendolyn's character and a good stopping off point.
those blistering orbs would be looking straight at her. - super description here.
Okay, I'm just going to mention this. The whiskey - she poured a small amount and then takes a sip, large mouthful and then a large gulp - doesn't sound too small a measure to me.
'With her face revealing all the hate she'd felt for him, she stared once more at her father's portrait, before turning and walking out of the room with her newly filled glass.'- remove the speech tags, it's not dialogue.
he'd left his clothes and other personal items.' - delete the closing speech mark here.
How comes 'e be knowin' me name? Oh, Cookie, 'urry up an' come. - I'm not sold on the idea of jumping into this young girl's direct thoughts... another character deep pov. Maybe there's a better way of working this in such as having her look around for Cook's entrance or suchlike. It could get messy quickly with head-hopping. (especially given this appears to be a minor character and not a main player). A few paragraphs later we jump into Miles' thoughts and our main character up to this point has only been Margot for this.
Just something to think about. Convention would say only do this for one character per chapter if you're using multiple pov.
She climbed out of bed, climbed, being the operative word.- I wouldn't have the second comma here after climbed.
Lady Brandon watched over everything, right down to the oil lamps and the smallest candle.' - delete the speech mark at the end.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
-
Sending you a humongous hug! How on earth I managed to put all those speech marks in places that they shouldn't be, I have no idea. The part with the maid and the cook, I've taken right out. Another boo-boo. Thank you so much, Gareth, I can't thank you enough for this review. I've made all the edits now. Thanks my famous friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
Stop it...lol