God On Doon
God reject him32 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
This is an odd duck. No offense intended, but this is the third or fourth short piece I've read of yours, all having the common theme of God's rejection of the main character, but then giving him/her what would appear to be a better position than the entrant would hope to expect. He/she was made an angel. How bizarre that is. I fail to see what the message is that you are offering the reader. If you work very hard, God will reject you and make you an angel?
   |
This is an odd duck. No offense intended, but this is the third or fourth short piece I've read of yours, all having the common theme of God's rejection of the main character, but then giving him/her what would appear to be a better position than the entrant would hope to expect. He/she was made an angel. How bizarre that is. I fail to see what the message is that you are offering the reader. If you work very hard, God will reject you and make you an angel?
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
Comment from Sanku
"God condemned me making me an angel". this statement can be controversial. Being an angel is condemnable? people can argue about it .
well written ..all the best for the contest.
|
"God condemned me making me an angel". this statement can be controversial. Being an angel is condemnable? people can argue about it .
well written ..all the best for the contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
Comment from Raul1
I think that you have written this spiritual story very well. It very hard to come up with those words to make it into a story. Excellent work! I like it. Thank you for sharing! Interesting.
|
I think that you have written this spiritual story very well. It very hard to come up with those words to make it into a story. Excellent work! I like it. Thank you for sharing! Interesting.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from Antionette2
I'm very new to this so it will take me some time to understand. On the other hand this was deep. I hope to be able to express my poems in such manner.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
|
I'm very new to this so it will take me some time to understand. On the other hand this was deep. I hope to be able to express my poems in such manner.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
Thanks my great word filler reviewer, please explain and clarify your contradictory words so that I can learn from a wise word filler for I tried but could not understand any word seems to be acceptable a word of review; please explain and clarify your point and teach me how to write a review, it would be wise if you follow the site's rules of reviewing but please do not forget to explain and clarify your points because I am still trying to find the words in the review; again I give you a copy of your review for offering your wise explanation and clarifications:
Review For God On Doon
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I'm very new to this so it will take me some time to understand. On the other hand this was deep. I hope to be able to express my poems in such manner. Reviewed with blinders on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and colored fonts in your story.
-You tell a good story.
-I like the opening paragraph with the dream.
-You use effective imagery with the clouds,
chariot, and whirlwind.
-Good dialogue at the end that makes a good conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest.
|
-Nice image and colored fonts in your story.
-You tell a good story.
-I like the opening paragraph with the dream.
-You use effective imagery with the clouds,
chariot, and whirlwind.
-Good dialogue at the end that makes a good conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Perfect entry for the
90 Word Spiritual Fiction writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend! You seemed to follow all the rules;-) The storyline is interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the imagery is spot on;-)
Thank you for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family!
|
Perfect entry for the
90 Word Spiritual Fiction writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend! You seemed to follow all the rules;-) The storyline is interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the imagery is spot on;-)
Thank you for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
You did a good job with a very detailed writing prompt. Your choice of artwork works perfectly well. And the text color change adds emphasis in a pleasant way.
|
You did a good job with a very detailed writing prompt. Your choice of artwork works perfectly well. And the text color change adds emphasis in a pleasant way.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from in777wr#
Very nice story. The 90 words requirement is on point. The story, in my opinion, has a natural flow. It does not seem forced due to the requirements. Overall, the story is very good. Even though the main character felt rejected, he was his family's angel. Very nice.
|
Very nice story. The 90 words requirement is on point. The story, in my opinion, has a natural flow. It does not seem forced due to the requirements. Overall, the story is very good. Even though the main character felt rejected, he was his family's angel. Very nice.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from Sallyo
You appear to have followed a very difficult prompt well. I read the story twice, but one line doesn't make sense to me.
God condemned making me an angel. This implies that God condemned (that is considered an action already taken was a bad one) "making me an angel". I understand the very tight prompt might be responsible for this odd construction, but I still can't get the meaning in this context. Does it really mean "God rejected the idea of making me an angel"? Or "God condemned me by making me an angel"?
|
You appear to have followed a very difficult prompt well. I read the story twice, but one line doesn't make sense to me.
God condemned making me an angel. This implies that God condemned (that is considered an action already taken was a bad one) "making me an angel". I understand the very tight prompt might be responsible for this odd construction, but I still can't get the meaning in this context. Does it really mean "God rejected the idea of making me an angel"? Or "God condemned me by making me an angel"?
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
Comment from royowen
Although men can't become angels, if He rejected me, I'd rather be an Angel than the alternative which would be the other place, beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
|
Although men can't become angels, if He rejected me, I'd rather be an Angel than the alternative which would be the other place, beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022