The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Return Chap 7"Erotic Turmoil
34 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Bessie is kind of creepy, like she belongs to the spirit world herself. Great job with her dialect. I enjoyed the scene with Margot founding the emerald-green dress. It was like she was transported back in time. I don't think Margot is going to die just to be with Miles. Wonder what her reaction will be when she sees Meg's grave. Exciting chapter. judi
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Bessie is kind of creepy, like she belongs to the spirit world herself. Great job with her dialect. I enjoyed the scene with Margot founding the emerald-green dress. It was like she was transported back in time. I don't think Margot is going to die just to be with Miles. Wonder what her reaction will be when she sees Meg's grave. Exciting chapter. judi
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Bessie is rather an inigma, isn't she? Lol. Thank you so much, Judi, for this fabulous review and the exceptional rating, that is so kind of you.
No, Margot isn't the suicidal type, so we'll have to wait and see what she does do. Thank you, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from JudyE
This getting very scary! I can't imagine how this can end well for poor Margot!
Just a few points for consideration:
'You'd think the church would tend the graves of those who no longer have family to do it, wouldn't you?' Margot carried on pulling the lichen off the letters - comma needed after 'on'
The words seemed to float in the air, and then gently move like a caress through Margot's mind. - delete either 'and' or 'then'
It's stunning. What a shame you didn't get to wear it. She gently replaced it, then opened the trunk beside it. - maybe here you need something like 'There was a dress at the top.'
'I don't remember seeing this dress last time.' She picked it up and held it out to get a better look. - I would delete 'to get a better look'
Just like when she first held the wedding dress, - I don't like 'Just like when' much but can't think of anything better. Maybe 'Just as when...'
She wiped her hand over her wet cheeks. Still painfully aware of the emptiness inside her heart. - replace period after 'cheeks' with a comma
She sat down on the nearest trunk and picked up the dress, holding it close, she tried to recall his face. - this would be better as two sentences. Period after 'dress'
Margot stood up and still holding the dress, she raced down to her bedroom - comma after 'and'
She couldn't reach to do all the tiny pearl buttons up at the back - I would have moved 'up' to 'She couldn't reach to do up all the tiny pearl buttons...'
The buttons were the fiddliest, but Bessie soon had them undone and helped Margot step out of it. - I would have said '.... out of the dress'.
'I'll go and put the kettle on,' Bessie told her. She'd soon learned how to make it, - I think it would be clearer as 'She'd soon learned how to make the coffee'
Margot thought about that, it did make sense. - replace comma with a period
All the best
Judy
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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This getting very scary! I can't imagine how this can end well for poor Margot!
Just a few points for consideration:
'You'd think the church would tend the graves of those who no longer have family to do it, wouldn't you?' Margot carried on pulling the lichen off the letters - comma needed after 'on'
The words seemed to float in the air, and then gently move like a caress through Margot's mind. - delete either 'and' or 'then'
It's stunning. What a shame you didn't get to wear it. She gently replaced it, then opened the trunk beside it. - maybe here you need something like 'There was a dress at the top.'
'I don't remember seeing this dress last time.' She picked it up and held it out to get a better look. - I would delete 'to get a better look'
Just like when she first held the wedding dress, - I don't like 'Just like when' much but can't think of anything better. Maybe 'Just as when...'
She wiped her hand over her wet cheeks. Still painfully aware of the emptiness inside her heart. - replace period after 'cheeks' with a comma
She sat down on the nearest trunk and picked up the dress, holding it close, she tried to recall his face. - this would be better as two sentences. Period after 'dress'
Margot stood up and still holding the dress, she raced down to her bedroom - comma after 'and'
She couldn't reach to do all the tiny pearl buttons up at the back - I would have moved 'up' to 'She couldn't reach to do up all the tiny pearl buttons...'
The buttons were the fiddliest, but Bessie soon had them undone and helped Margot step out of it. - I would have said '.... out of the dress'.
'I'll go and put the kettle on,' Bessie told her. She'd soon learned how to make it, - I think it would be clearer as 'She'd soon learned how to make the coffee'
Margot thought about that, it did make sense. - replace comma with a period
All the best
Judy
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, Judy, for this really helpful review. I've made some changes and the corrections. That was so kind of you. I'll miss you on here. Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
Definitely an amazing continuation chapter, Sandra. I am so glad that Margot came across Bessie and finally learned the truth about Meg and Miles. Miles sadly died an old man who waited all his life for Meg. Margot at the end of this chapter, learned from Bessie that Miles was waiting for her. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Blessings, hugs and smiles.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Definitely an amazing continuation chapter, Sandra. I am so glad that Margot came across Bessie and finally learned the truth about Meg and Miles. Miles sadly died an old man who waited all his life for Meg. Margot at the end of this chapter, learned from Bessie that Miles was waiting for her. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Blessings, hugs and smiles.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, Alie. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Sending love and hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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You are doing a great job, Sandra and you are so very welcome. Hugs!
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Aw, thank you, my friend!! :)) xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really like this story. I think this may be your best one ever. Although, the others were really good.
She sat down on the nearest trunk and picked up the dress, holding it close (you can omit 'down')
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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I really like this story. I think this may be your best one ever. Although, the others were really good.
She sat down on the nearest trunk and picked up the dress, holding it close (you can omit 'down')
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for this lovely review and the golden star. I really appreciate both. I'm so pleased you like this book. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
The estate will belong to Margot, of course. I have to stop trying to figure things out like I do with the who dunnits. But I can't wait to see what Miles has planned. I loved the dress, and the part with Margot and Bessie at the graveyard.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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The estate will belong to Margot, of course. I have to stop trying to figure things out like I do with the who dunnits. But I can't wait to see what Miles has planned. I loved the dress, and the part with Margot and Bessie at the graveyard.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Lol, you're not the only one trying to figure out what is going on with Margot. All will become clear soon, but there is still a bit more to come before that.Thank you, Cindy, I'm glad you are still enjoying reading it. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Shirley McLain
The plot thickens. You have me wondering with Margot why he thinks she is Meg and the entire story behind her death. I also want to know what's in those letters. Looking forward to the next chapter, as always. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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The plot thickens. You have me wondering with Margot why he thinks she is Meg and the entire story behind her death. I also want to know what's in those letters. Looking forward to the next chapter, as always. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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It will all come to a head soon, and then things will change! Thank you so much, Shirley for the wonderful review and the golden sixth star! Love and hugs, dear friend.:)) Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
This is, Of course, different from the other time travellers, inasmuch that they aren't here in physical, form...or are they? The experience at the graveyard, and later in the attic bear witness, it's almost. Buddhist in belief, but, of course, that's not it. Brilliantly written, blessings Sandra, Roy
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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This is, Of course, different from the other time travellers, inasmuch that they aren't here in physical, form...or are they? The experience at the graveyard, and later in the attic bear witness, it's almost. Buddhist in belief, but, of course, that's not it. Brilliantly written, blessings Sandra, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Ah, that is something we will never know. :)) This is different from my This Time-That Time trilogy. That's what I love about writing fiction, I can create characters who come from other planets, or a different time. I don't know much, if anything, about Buddhism, but I'll find out now. Thank you so much for another lovely review, my dear friend. Love and hugs. Sandra. xx
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Buddhism is simply being transformed into possibly a gnat until you reach nirvana, which isn?t possible anyway.
Comment from Ulla
Oh dear, it's getting spookier by the minute. For my life, I can't figure out what will happen next, and it's maybe as well. You really take us on quite a trip here, don't you, Sandra? I love it. Now, what on earth is happening next and Margot's birthday coming closer and closer. It's been a great story and great writing. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Oh dear, it's getting spookier by the minute. For my life, I can't figure out what will happen next, and it's maybe as well. You really take us on quite a trip here, don't you, Sandra? I love it. Now, what on earth is happening next and Margot's birthday coming closer and closer. It's been a great story and great writing. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Considering I can't work it out, I'm glad you can't!! Lol. Actually, I'm having fun with this one. I've already finished the next four chapters, because I wanted to know what would happen! Lol!
Thank you for the golden star, and wonderful review, my dear friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
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Oh, Sandra, I now wish I had had the wisdom to write chaters in advance, but I never seem to have the time. You will now know everything that has happened to me of late. Ulla xxxx
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Yes, after what has just happened to you, you could have done with a back-up. What a shame. You can check it over tomorrow. Good night my friend. xxx
Comment from damommy
Wow! So much learned in this chapter. I think Bessie has made her way from 1800s to the present. She's come to guide Margot back to Miles. I'm guessing and hoping that eventually Margot becomes Meg. The young Miles is still waiting for her. What a love story, and I love that the past can communicate with the future.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Wow! So much learned in this chapter. I think Bessie has made her way from 1800s to the present. She's come to guide Margot back to Miles. I'm guessing and hoping that eventually Margot becomes Meg. The young Miles is still waiting for her. What a love story, and I love that the past can communicate with the future.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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I think everyone is trying to work out what, or who Bessie is, just like Margot! Lol. You're all going to get a surprise. Thank you dear sister for the exceptional star, and wonderul review, you are the bestest! Love and hugs, my dear SATP :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You did a great job with this one, Sandra.
-Excellent suspense as Margot gets up the
courage to look at the headstones.
-You build it up well as she hesitates to avoid doing it.
-Good transition as Margot wants answers before she goes to Miles' grave.
-You describe Bessie well as she also hesitates and doesn't want to give answers.
-A good scene with Margot in the attic looking at the dresses in the trunk.
-It was interesting that she chose to keep one and then go to her room and try it on.
-It sounds like it was stunning.
-Finally, Bessie agrees to talk over a nice cup of coffee.
-The ending is intriguing and leaves us wondering why Miles was waiting for Margot.
-Very well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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-You did a great job with this one, Sandra.
-Excellent suspense as Margot gets up the
courage to look at the headstones.
-You build it up well as she hesitates to avoid doing it.
-Good transition as Margot wants answers before she goes to Miles' grave.
-You describe Bessie well as she also hesitates and doesn't want to give answers.
-A good scene with Margot in the attic looking at the dresses in the trunk.
-It was interesting that she chose to keep one and then go to her room and try it on.
-It sounds like it was stunning.
-Finally, Bessie agrees to talk over a nice cup of coffee.
-The ending is intriguing and leaves us wondering why Miles was waiting for Margot.
-Very well done, my friend.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you so very much, Pam, for the exceptional sixth star, and fabulous review. I went over this chapter a few times, changing words and trying to make them stronger. You're review really made my day, I'll be going to bed soon, with the biggest smile on my face. Thanks, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. You did an excellent job on this one. I could tell the difference between this and the previous one. Keep to the formula:):) I am happy it meant a lot to you.