Writing 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Gramps"Stories, poems, flashes
25 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
Interesting story. The scene feels authentic. Nice touches with the kitchen sponge, etc. Good job of showing. My only suggestion would be for Patti to use "Gramps" from the beginning and always capitalize Grandpa or Gramps when used as a proper noun and not just as a reference, like "your grandpa." Naomi would always think "Grandpa" even if Patti were saying "Gramps," so you'd keep the confusion intact.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Interesting story. The scene feels authentic. Nice touches with the kitchen sponge, etc. Good job of showing. My only suggestion would be for Patti to use "Gramps" from the beginning and always capitalize Grandpa or Gramps when used as a proper noun and not just as a reference, like "your grandpa." Naomi would always think "Grandpa" even if Patti were saying "Gramps," so you'd keep the confusion intact.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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You probably are perfectly right on your suggestion. I woke up thinking of my father (a rare occasion unfortunately) and I guess somewhere my mind must have been asking myself if given the chance would I have accepted things as they were and taken the chance to make amends.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is a heart felt story. I would love to have it go on, but alas all stories must. There were many books that I wish had a sequel and was a little sad when the book ended. My cure for sadness was just pick up another book. Your story is well-written and there is no need for improvement.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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This is a heart felt story. I would love to have it go on, but alas all stories must. There were many books that I wish had a sequel and was a little sad when the book ended. My cure for sadness was just pick up another book. Your story is well-written and there is no need for improvement.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Thanks so much. Today is the anniversary of my dad's death and our relationship was like walking on a tightrope. I never seemed to measure up and he never said he loved me. Of course, my mom swears I read him all wrong. I guess I was wondering if given the chance would we both bend a little.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Thatguypk
This is a very touching and sentimental story, tinged with the sadness of years lost, for whatever reason, but I'm glad that the final words sound hopeful of reconciliation, rather than the initial anger in remembering his departure. Lovely writing.
PK
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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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This is a very touching and sentimental story, tinged with the sadness of years lost, for whatever reason, but I'm glad that the final words sound hopeful of reconciliation, rather than the initial anger in remembering his departure. Lovely writing.
PK
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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With egg on my face, I shamefully thank you for finding the time to read my post and to respond. I have taken two days of reading and answering posts and am still 50 away.
Smiles and hugs and greatly appreciated.
Carol
Comment from BethShelby
What a beautiful story, Carol. I can imagine a reunion like this. Her dad wanted to atone, but approached his granddaughter first not knowing how he would be received. We know he is a good person because he is a volunteer helping give out food to needy people.
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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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What a beautiful story, Carol. I can imagine a reunion like this. Her dad wanted to atone, but approached his granddaughter first not knowing how he would be received. We know he is a good person because he is a volunteer helping give out food to needy people.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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With egg on my face, I shamefully thank you for finding the time to read my post and to respond. I have taken two days of reading and answering posts and am still 50 away.
Smiles and hugs and greatly appreciated.
Carol
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello again Begin Again, lol. A happy Thursday to you, I hope this finds you well. Just like your other writings I've read this one was well-written, descriptive and engaging. I have to admit that the last paragraph left me speechless and tearing up a little, I had a rough childhood and suffered by the hands of a father who I haven't seen in about 30 years, so yeah this kinda of hit home for me on a certain level. Unfortunately in my situation there won't be a reunion and if by slight chance, nothing good would come from it. Anyway......Good job and have a great day!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Hello again Begin Again, lol. A happy Thursday to you, I hope this finds you well. Just like your other writings I've read this one was well-written, descriptive and engaging. I have to admit that the last paragraph left me speechless and tearing up a little, I had a rough childhood and suffered by the hands of a father who I haven't seen in about 30 years, so yeah this kinda of hit home for me on a certain level. Unfortunately in my situation there won't be a reunion and if by slight chance, nothing good would come from it. Anyway......Good job and have a great day!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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With egg on my face, I shamefully thank you for finding the time to read my post and to respond. I have taken two days of reading and answering posts and am still 50 away.
Smiles and hugs and greatly appreciated.
Carol