The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Return Chapter 6"Erotic Turmoil
37 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! This is quickly becoming my favorite of your novels, Sandra. I've always been partial to your paranormal tales, and you do have a knack for them, but this one, in particular, seems most compelling. That may be, and probably is, because you've grown exponentially in your writing.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Wow! This is quickly becoming my favorite of your novels, Sandra. I've always been partial to your paranormal tales, and you do have a knack for them, but this one, in particular, seems most compelling. That may be, and probably is, because you've grown exponentially in your writing.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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What a lovely compliment, Jay, thank you so very much. I can't take all the credit, it's you and other amazing authors on here who have helped me grow. Without you all, I'd still be churning out nursery rhymes. :))
Thank you, my friend, for this lovely review and the golden star. I really appreciate both. Love and hugs. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
I think Margot's feelings fit very well with the story so far. The fact that someone can be reborn, or rather, manifest the mission of the ancestor is born out in scripture, Jesus is listed as the Son of David, at least, the human side, and scripture goes to great pains to point out the ancestry dating back to Adam, 42 generations. Brave written Sandra, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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I think Margot's feelings fit very well with the story so far. The fact that someone can be reborn, or rather, manifest the mission of the ancestor is born out in scripture, Jesus is listed as the Son of David, at least, the human side, and scripture goes to great pains to point out the ancestry dating back to Adam, 42 generations. Brave written Sandra, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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You always say such wonderful things, Roy, and I love what you've said here. The Bible is an amazing reference book for so many things that happen in life, even today, thousands of years after it was written. Thank you, dear friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
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Well done
Comment from Jeff Flaig
To begin with, you have use plural were in place of was and visa versa.
'They managed to keep Mistress Meg's whereabouts a secret for nearly eight years. Then Miles put on a party for her birthday, and a few trusted friends {was} were invited. It {were} was only days later that she had that so-called accident. Miles {were} was beside {his} himself {self} with grief.'
This needs an edit. When your verbs are out of sinc, it makes it disrupts the flow. Otherwise it was an easy read.
Good Job
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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To begin with, you have use plural were in place of was and visa versa.
'They managed to keep Mistress Meg's whereabouts a secret for nearly eight years. Then Miles put on a party for her birthday, and a few trusted friends {was} were invited. It {were} was only days later that she had that so-called accident. Miles {were} was beside {his} himself {self} with grief.'
This needs an edit. When your verbs are out of sinc, it makes it disrupts the flow. Otherwise it was an easy read.
Good Job
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Hi Jeff, No, it doesn't need an edit, at least, not for the reasons you've pointed out, it's the way Bessie speaks, and she is modeled on a real person. She always says 'his self, not himself and she always gets her, were's and was's in the wrong place. That's what makes her such a character. Thanks for reading! I hope you will continue to follow the story, I'll add the fact that Bessie and all the other characters are UK English person, and this is her Hampshire dialect. Thank you, again! Sandra
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I stand corrected.
Again, Good job.
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Lol! Thank you, but it was my own fault I sometimes forget that not everyone knows Bessie. Thanks again, it was kind of you to offer to help. xx
Comment from blondie560
I love where this is going. There is so many unanswered questions that I can't wait to find the answer to. You just keep adding to the intrigue of Bessie. I'm pretty sure that Margot has to be feeling like she's losing her grip on reality. She couldn't leave the house to go to work, but she just walked right out when she went for a run. As always I'll be waiting got the next chapter! Have a wonderful week! Hugs to you:) Sally
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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I love where this is going. There is so many unanswered questions that I can't wait to find the answer to. You just keep adding to the intrigue of Bessie. I'm pretty sure that Margot has to be feeling like she's losing her grip on reality. She couldn't leave the house to go to work, but she just walked right out when she went for a run. As always I'll be waiting got the next chapter! Have a wonderful week! Hugs to you:) Sally
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Bessie is a great character to work with, lol, I'm enjoying her. Thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews, Sally, and for the shiny sixer. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying this story!! Love and hugs, back. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Heather Burroughs
You did a phenomenal job with the suspense and you now have me captivating wanting more.
Bessie is definitely more than a housekeeper lol
Thank you for sharing.
Many blessings.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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You did a phenomenal job with the suspense and you now have me captivating wanting more.
Bessie is definitely more than a housekeeper lol
Thank you for sharing.
Many blessings.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much, Heather. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. Bessie is a bit of an enigma, isn't she!? Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Pantygynt
You build up the suspense well. Most people will be familiar with that 'I don't want to go back to work' feeling, but not many will have experienced either the escalation of the feeling like a severe attack of agoraphobia Margot suffers from here or the conversation with the late Miles.
The way you have written it makes it feel belivable and that will keep the reader reading.
Para 1. Grammar: Different from not different to
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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You build up the suspense well. Most people will be familiar with that 'I don't want to go back to work' feeling, but not many will have experienced either the escalation of the feeling like a severe attack of agoraphobia Margot suffers from here or the conversation with the late Miles.
The way you have written it makes it feel belivable and that will keep the reader reading.
Para 1. Grammar: Different from not different to
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Jim, and all those stars. That you think I've written it in a way that is believable, is the biggest compliment you could have paid me. :)) Humongous hugs, my friend. xxx
I hope your journey was good and you are all settled in. I'll be waiting for our next chat when you come home, I want to hear all about it. xx
Comment from damommy
I think Margot is slowly being taken over by Meg, and Bessie is more than a housekeeper. If all this is true, the question is will Margo disappear from this time warp, and is Bessie all part of this? Great chapter, showing the struggle Margot's trying to overcome.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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I think Margot is slowly being taken over by Meg, and Bessie is more than a housekeeper. If all this is true, the question is will Margo disappear from this time warp, and is Bessie all part of this? Great chapter, showing the struggle Margot's trying to overcome.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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It does seem that way. As for Bessie? Hmm.
Thank you so much, dear SATP for this lovely review and that golden star. Margot has some problems to sort out, but will they be the right ones? Lol, thank you dear sister. I loved this review. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She should escape while she can. LOL I was able to read yours. I can't do more. Well done , Sandra. Good suspense build up. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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She should escape while she can. LOL I was able to read yours. I can't do more. Well done , Sandra. Good suspense build up. Nancy:)
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Oh, Nancy! I wasn't expecting to see you today. I hope that means you are feeling a little better? I do worry about you. Thank you so much for reading it, and for the sixth star. You are indeed the best of friends, please take care. Lots of love and masses of hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Judy Lawless
This does get more and more mysterious, Sandra. You've written it well, to draw us into Margot's character, giving us those chills she feels, and the heart pounding. I usually see some early clues when reading mysteries, but I have no ideas in this one. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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This does get more and more mysterious, Sandra. You've written it well, to draw us into Margot's character, giving us those chills she feels, and the heart pounding. I usually see some early clues when reading mysteries, but I have no ideas in this one. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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What a lovely review, Judy, thank you so very much. The sixth star is the cherry on top!! That you have no idea made me smile. You will soon. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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You are most welcome, Sandra.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again this is a great story. You have completely captured me. I can't wait to find out what is going to happen to Margot. I am also curious if she's going to be able to go to work tomorrow. It's as if the house has captured her.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Once again this is a great story. You have completely captured me. I can't wait to find out what is going to happen to Margot. I am also curious if she's going to be able to go to work tomorrow. It's as if the house has captured her.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
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Aw, thank you, Barbara. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story, I've never written one like this. Thank you, also, for that shiny sixth star, you are so encouraging. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx