Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Football Chapter 26 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

26 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a great chapter and glad the locals believe in her. Just a couple of spags or suggestions. and the town seems to think[s] so

The only way they can(be better set up??)

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    I have made the corrections. Thank you.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You're doing great with the lawyer: Lawyers don't like surprises, so if there's dirt, they want to know so they can build a defense. So, bravo on the lawyer scene. Just a couple of things below:
"Yea." I think you mean, "Yeah" for "yes" "Yea is more a celebration sound, Yaaaa.

Gabriel glanced at his watch. "We really don't have time. My parents and the boys will be here in about twenty minutes. Besides I never did get home and shower." [I don't know who's talking here.]


 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    Gabriel glanced at this watch and there's not a paragraph so Gabriel's speaking. I used an action tag, not a speech tag. I'll go back and make sure. I made the other correction. thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gabriel and Katherine make a good pair, especially since she needs such a strong support system right now. She's extremely fragile it seems. I am glad the lawyer introduced her to things she is most likely going to be confronted with when they go to trial. And Gabriel truly has her back.

Nice job! Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    Yes, Gabriel does have her back. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So, Gabriel has hired an attorney, Troy, to handle the case of the boy's grandparents having custody ofbthe boys, and from his thorough examination, believes they should win the case. Of course that was true, it's tough to wrest kids away from good parents. Well done Barbara, great write, blessings Roy.
Typo : She('s) hurting and needs me.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the catch. I have made the correction.
reply by royowen on 12-Sep-2021
    Most welcome
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So, at long last, everything I've been supposing (since you've quite adroitly been suggesting) is about to actualize. Katherine and her kids will have their day in court, and Troy promises Gabriel that she will not lose her children. This chapter had everything I expected. Katherine is still emotionally injured, but Gabriel is a needed balm.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    Yes, Katherine needs Gabriel. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is and great story. Gabriel is a very decent person and she is fortunate to have him in her corner. The in-laws who plan to sue to get the kids shouldn't have much luck since they have never been interested in thim. I glad they decided to wait about the sex because they might be a means they would use to get the children.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
    It sure would. Thank you for the kind review.