Reviews from

Genius in Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Genius In Love"
In Search of a Soul

28 total reviews 
Comment from amahra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You outdid yourself, Jay. I knew Cililla would bring Cornelius through his uncertainty about the missing Jennie. I thought you handled Corney's delicate emotions expertly. And I love it when Cililla does her victory dance. It always makes me smile. Fantastic chapter, Jay.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    Bless you, Amahra! This was why I had to use so much stage direction. Sweet Cornie is still limited in the subtlety of speech.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This is a very emotional scene. Cornelius is having an inner struggle to try to heed to voice of Chilla. It is like part of him is so emotional that he has no control but the inner voice is prompting him to calm down and listen. His own mother is confused and Phyllis is very moved by this boy. You are doing a wonderful job with this script and stage direction. I wonder if you've known a boy like Cornelius. You seem to understand these kind of children more than most people.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    No, I'm extrapolating from my tv watching: The Good Doctor, about an autistic, but brilliant doctor, and, believe it or not, Sheldon, from The Big Bang Theory. My original inspiration was a young lad of about 10 or so who was always present during my lunch breaks when I was in the 6th grade. This would have been in 1949 or '50, and he was unconscionably treated by my peers (and probably myself) though I have thoughtfully blotted that part from my memory.
reply by BethShelby on 29-Aug-2021
    Yes I like the Good Doctor, that is good example but Chilla is very creative If this was a movie instead of a play she could be transparent or tiny.
Comment from Senyai
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay,

Wow, explosive scene! I feel for Cornelius in this setting that his whole world knows where and why his Jennie is gone, except him! Two missed notes on the piano keys because his hands were sweaty with nerves and he blames himself for Jennie's sudden disappearance.

I remember Mr. Hallows said in the previous scene that the three of them need to let Cornie react to the news of Jennie's disappearance however he feels when he first hears it and to not try to steer his feelings one way or another. Well, Cornie controlled the scene at first by reacting like he felt. He thought it was his fault...as usual. Cornelius is much more perceptive of people's feelings than anyone realizes. He knew Mr. Jax did not like him very much and feared his daughter was pulling away from their family because if him.

Cornie listened to Cillila and calmed down and listened for Phyllis to tell him where Jennie was and unfortunately Phyllis fed him a story about her Aunt Fawnelle needing to see Jennie. Out of desperation, Phyllis thought she would calm Cornie by asking him if she could play like his aunt too.

Cillila instructed Cornie to hug Mrs. Jax until she began pull away and Cornie did and then hugged his mother much the same way except kept hugging his mother. even as she released him. Toloachi collapsed into her son's arms, perhaps for the first time in her life. She leaned on Cornie, a passed milestone for their relationship, I'm thinking. Cornie grows up...

But a predicament is brewing, Jay. I pray they haven't made a mistake by promising Jennie will come back to him when they have no idea if that will be the case.

I read your notes and wonder why some people don't like the stage instructions? This is clearly written as a play. The time taking place in the 1950's with the stage setting gives such a different view and adds a certain depth that otherwise might not be attained if written in story form.

My only question is, what is meant by the interjected word ?

Always,
Senyai

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    What a gorgeous summation of the action in this scene, Senyai (if that's what you prefer to be called here). You brought everything into such a clear focus. I'm thrilled, as usual, that you enjoyed reading it. I'm thinking I'll bring down the final curtain in a couple more scenes. Your six stars is sooo welcomed!

    Buy the interjected word ... do you mean "Mrs. Jax?" I hoped for the sound of the inflection after "Jax", which I do mention in the Character description as characteristic of Cornelius's speech, but included the question mark here with some misgiving.
reply by Senyai on 30-Aug-2021
    Oh, somehow the injected word wasn?t included in the email.

    I was curious why the word ?Beat? is in between some lines of dialogue, Jay?
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    Beat, in stage direction, means something like a pause, but then again, something more. In prose, it might be more the equivalent of a paragraph break ... that can seem awkward in a play's dialogue format. So for the actor it alerts him/her as to a slight shift in the character's speech/thought pattern.
reply by Senyai on 30-Aug-2021
    Oh thank you, Jay! I thought it might be something along those lines :))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That was wonderful, Jay! I missed you last week, don't do that to me again! You played this scene so well with Cornelius finally listening and giving Phyllis and his mother a hug. That was a very emotional part. Sweet and very satisfying. I only hope they can bring Jennie back soon, that was a good way to tell him of Jennie's disappearance. Now he knows she's coming back, he can relax again. I just hope she does come back. Well done, my clever friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your encouraging words topped by a sixth star are so appreciated, Sandra. Like I've mentioned to others, I'm thinking I'll close this play down in a couple more scenes. I hope the conclusion will be satisfying.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A special chapter, Jay. Beautifully crafted. I can see how well it would work on stage. Poignant moments to close the scene. I'm worried that he's been promised too much and what will happen if Mr Jax steps in.

Did you intend the second question mark here? I wasn't sure.
CORNELIUS:
(Staring intently at her eyebrows)
How--do you do? Mrs. Jax?

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
    Thanks, Tony. Your reviews are always so appreciated, and honored. The six comes as a bonus! Thanks for that.

    As to the question marks... yes they were intentional, but placed with some doubts. I wanted the inflection that the question marks provide, but it is unconventional here. I'm waiting to see if others mention it. I do thank you for pointing it out, though.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This scene 15 of romantic script speaks the theme with directives, words are so expressive and realistic in expressed clearly and interestingly, well said, well done (******); thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
    Thank you, Alcreator. I'm so pleased this play is striking the right chord in you. Your six is VERY much appreciated, Sir.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Cornelius is met by his mother, and Phyllis and Mr Hallows, Cillilla is there, but he insistently wants Jenny, so much so, that he starts to be a little panicky, but with the collective concern for him, calms him down, well done, Jay, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2021
    Thank you, as always, Roy. You seem to always have your fingers on the pulse of the plot. I'm going to continue on for only a few more scenes, probably two, and I hope bring it to a satisfying conclusion.
reply by royowen on 31-Aug-2021
    Well done
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Heartrending. I continue to be astounded at your device of getting in his mind via his imaginary coach--this is like nothing I've ever seen--I totally agree with your decision to use detailed stage directions given that this is unique. Gripping scene!

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 Comment Written 29-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
    God, Liz. What a great review to finish my evening with and go to bed repeating it in my mind. Thank you!