As Daylight Fades
Rhyming poetry ~ Rondeau41 total reviews
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
  |
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you very much Raul for your wonderful comments and review!
Melissa
-
You're welcome!
Comment from QC Poet
Great poem offering with a beautiful accompanying photo included with your posting, Thanks for including the notes with your posting and Good Luck to you in the contest,
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Great poem offering with a beautiful accompanying photo included with your posting, Thanks for including the notes with your posting and Good Luck to you in the contest,
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review and comments!
Melissa
Comment from dragonpoet
Melissa,
I like rondeaux and this is a good one. It describes dusk and the fireflies coming out well. I haven't seen fireflies in a long time. But I do remember trying to catch them when is was litte.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Melissa,
I like rondeaux and this is a good one. It describes dusk and the fireflies coming out well. I haven't seen fireflies in a long time. But I do remember trying to catch them when is was litte.
Good luck, keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello Joan. Thanks so much for your wonderful review and comments!!
Melissa
-
You are most kindly welcome, Melissa.
Joan
Comment from robyn corum
Mel,
How beautiful! There are so many moving parts here. The pastel colors in the sky, the thrush, the fireflies (that most certainly have three syllables), the garden, and the weight being lifted by the peace the surrounds the narrator. It all adds up to a lovely, wonderful setting - and I wanna GO!
I only have one question. I have read it several times and it just don't sound right. *smile*
* soft pastels tints spread o'er the sky,
--> seems like it should be:
--> soft (pastel) tints spread o'er the sky,
Thanks! Good luck! I expect to see this one at the top.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Mel,
How beautiful! There are so many moving parts here. The pastel colors in the sky, the thrush, the fireflies (that most certainly have three syllables), the garden, and the weight being lifted by the peace the surrounds the narrator. It all adds up to a lovely, wonderful setting - and I wanna GO!
I only have one question. I have read it several times and it just don't sound right. *smile*
* soft pastels tints spread o'er the sky,
--> seems like it should be:
--> soft (pastel) tints spread o'er the sky,
Thanks! Good luck! I expect to see this one at the top.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
You are so right, Robyn. I quickly went and edited it? and I proofed it six times? ugh! Thanks so very much. Hugs, all day long! :)
Melissa
Comment from Sally Law
I apologize for no six! Wow, the poets are slaying it this week. I love the fireflies of summer. I wish for more! A marvelous offering, dear Melissa, and contest winner, I declare!
Sal XOs....
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
I apologize for no six! Wow, the poets are slaying it this week. I love the fireflies of summer. I wish for more! A marvelous offering, dear Melissa, and contest winner, I declare!
Sal XOs....
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello Sally. I am so delighted that you liked this Rondeau. It took me two weeks to get it right. Ugh! Thank you :)
Melissa
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Melissa, a well written Rondeau for the contest entry. Written true to form and the rhyming is very good. A good atmospheric entry with a beautiful picture - a really promising contender to the contest. Good Luck - warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
Hello Melissa, a well written Rondeau for the contest entry. Written true to form and the rhyming is very good. A good atmospheric entry with a beautiful picture - a really promising contender to the contest. Good Luck - warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello sweet Dorothy. Thank you so much. It took me two weeks to get it right LOL. So glad you enjoyed it!
Melissa
Comment from Sanku
This is a lovely rhyming poem and a rondeau to boot.I loved the end 'sh' rhymes and I could feel I was witnessing a beautiful transition of day to night.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
This is a lovely rhyming poem and a rondeau to boot.I loved the end 'sh' rhymes and I could feel I was witnessing a beautiful transition of day to night.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello Sandy. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and review. I am delighted that you enjoyed it!! :)
Melissa
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a lovely rondeau on the beauty of a meadow full of flowers and fireflies and such. I love your descriptions of the flora and the fauna of the outdoors. Your variety of rhymes that sound like 'hush' is amazing! I love the rhyme scheme and the overall feel of this piece. The photo taken to represent this poem is beautiful! I also appreciate your returning to the ending line twice. The flow, the meter, and the rhymes are all top-notch.
I enjoy the outdoors...and the beauty of nature. I frequently go on nature trails.
Thank you for posting this and for brightening up my day.
Have a wonderful day,
Jesse
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
This is a lovely rondeau on the beauty of a meadow full of flowers and fireflies and such. I love your descriptions of the flora and the fauna of the outdoors. Your variety of rhymes that sound like 'hush' is amazing! I love the rhyme scheme and the overall feel of this piece. The photo taken to represent this poem is beautiful! I also appreciate your returning to the ending line twice. The flow, the meter, and the rhymes are all top-notch.
I enjoy the outdoors...and the beauty of nature. I frequently go on nature trails.
Thank you for posting this and for brightening up my day.
Have a wonderful day,
Jesse
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello Jesse. Thank you so very much. I am very happy that you liked it and could relate to the natural theme. It took me two weeks to get it right.. LOL :)
Melissa
-
Good morning, Melissa.
Two weeks, huh...it can take me over a month to get a piece just right, so I can relate.
Have a great morning, my friend,
Jesse
Comment from Janice Canerdy
A rondeau done right is a feast for the reader, and yours is done right--skillfully, with vividly appealing descriptions of the winding down of the day, how it signals the thrush and lightning bugs to become active. Nighttime is their time.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
|
A rondeau done right is a feast for the reader, and yours is done right--skillfully, with vividly appealing descriptions of the winding down of the day, how it signals the thrush and lightning bugs to become active. Nighttime is their time.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello Janice. Thank you for your lovely comments. This was a challenge to me? took me two weeks to get it right.. I am delighted that you liked it, my friend!!!
Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
As you know, I have watched this take shape then alter and be reshaped. I think this bears out what I said earlier that using the front half of the first line tends to make for a better poem. This works really well I think.
After writing the above I went to see what other reviewers had written. You can be very proud. You have avoided the pitfalls some mentioned. there is nothing stilted in this at all.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
 |
As you know, I have watched this take shape then alter and be reshaped. I think this bears out what I said earlier that using the front half of the first line tends to make for a better poem. This works really well I think.
After writing the above I went to see what other reviewers had written. You can be very proud. You have avoided the pitfalls some mentioned. there is nothing stilted in this at all.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
-
Hello my Friend. I was wondering what you would think of it and I am extremely pleased that you like it and think it flows well and coherently. Your advice is always a great boost to me, and you are right that the first phrase with a different rhyme adds just the right twist. Thank you so much!
Melissa