Reviews from

Genius in Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Genius in Love, Scene 9"
In Search of a Soul

32 total reviews 
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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You did a great job describing romance between two twelve-year old, one of whom has Autism.

It's good that you are back to reality. Sometimes you need to instead of just staying inside of Cornelius' head.

Well done.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Yes, I agree with you. I'm afraid I lost a lot of readership with the last two scenes for that very reason: I was too much in the Abstract world of Cornelius's mind. This one is more grounded, and the readers seem to be responding more to it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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AHHH, this was so sweet. I am happy Cornelius and Jennie are able to communicate. I am happy she is so understanding of his disability. You are doing a great job writing this.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thank you, Barbara. Your opinion means a lot to me. The next few scenes will follow along more on the side of reality.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautiful scene, Jay. The setting is well defined and the dialogue real. You've shown the emotions and friendship building between Cornelius and Jenny. Very well done.

I read your notes, and I can relate, somewhat. We had a couple of men (or maybe older boys) who spent a great deal of time in our downtown when I was a kid. One had Turrets; I'm not sure what the issue was with the other. Many people were good to them, paying them for odd jobs around town, but there were many who felt as you did, and many kids who tormented them. I was more like Jenny. I felt sorry for them, but still a little afraid of them.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your input, Judy. That helps me see how the readers are responding to the play. It's taking a temperature, so to speak. I was starting to lose some readers over the last two scenes, but they seem to be coming back this time. That six sparkles so nicely!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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As the old saying goes, kids really say and do the darndest things. And, many of us adults never grow out of it acting like children. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thank you, Ric. It's good that you've been here since the beginning. Believe me, notice. And I appreciate you.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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I like the way you have skilfully recreated a 50s era here. Looks like an era of innocence and gullibility. The dialogue between Cornelius and Jennie is a case in point. One wonders what's going on in his mind. It shows a slight awkwardness and the initial hesitancy in the beginning. But then it ends well. I liked the script. Good show!

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Yes, the 50s ... I remember them well. There was a lot of innocense, but also a lot of stupidity and cruelty.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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I loved this scene with these two awkward pre-teens trying to navigate their early courtship. Jennie is almost as nervous as Cornelius. The fact that they are able to get to the point of swapping sanwiches and Cornelius tells her his nickname is real progress. Cillila is delighted.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    I'm so happy you enjoyed this scene. It is having some success compared to the last two scenes. People like relationships. I DO thank you for being loyal to this play. It means a lot.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It's really quite amazing that we were so naive, back then in 1955 I was a kid, although I remember it as if yesterday, and I can't remember having a progressive thought in my life. This is most perceptive Jay, you've obviously done some research, very perceptive, and a great imagination, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    No research except my observation and memories from my youth in the late 40s, early 50s. I've thought a lot about that. I'm feeling so privileged that you've been loyal to this play. That means so much to me.
reply by royowen on 21-Jun-2021
    Welcome Jay
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are being very skillful in your renderings here. The scenario you portray is very valid regarding the almost one-sided conversation and the hidden machinations of Cornelius's mind that result in his final actions.

Well done

Ralf

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thank you for letting this scene work down and bed itself in your soul. There was a lot in this scene, and it looks as though you patiently dug it out. Thanks so much for the six stars, Ralf.
reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 21-Jun-2021
    That is such a satisfying response. Thank you Jay. Brilliant!
Comment from Senyai
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay,

Oh this scene is so touching! Jennie Jax and Cornelius have a poignant scene on the playground while eating their lunch sandwiches. We get a bird's eye view of Jennie's personality now as she is speaking to Cornie in a more intimate setting. She is from Montana and her brother died. She is now an only child. She spoke to her parents about the bullying of Cornelius by Delaney the previous scenes back. Jennie made sure Cornie knew it was her that got Delaney expelled.

We see the tender scene where Jennie brought Cornelius' lunch with her and talks about exchanging sandwich halves like she and her brother used to do. She noticed Cornie's bologna sandwich to her lumpy Roman Meal strawberry preserves and peanut butter and gently urges Cornie to exchange. Much like a friendship offering, brilliantly done. At first Cornie said "No" - but as he grows curious perhaps, finally relinquishes and they exchange. Such a sweet and illuminating touch that shows this simple action means so much in their developing relationship. Pure...

... and Cililla is there behind Cornie and she literally has his back, by touching him softly on his shoulders throughout the conversation.

The last lines showed Cornie's growing trust of Jennie by offering up the shortened form of his name, Cornie, that he now wants her to call him.

Just so touching and perfect, Jay!

Always,
Senyai



 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    I had to check my list again. Yep, Senyai is on it, first thing next month. You are SOO spot on with your understanding of what lies behind my scene. So perceptive. I will carry your review throughout the day and week. Thank you, Senyai.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this. In Book 4 of my current series of stories, I am thinking of introducing an autistic character, who will be born in the early 1950s. The book will cover the thirty plus years into the eighties, so i am interested in researching anything to do with the condition and what was known or believed about it at that time. Consequently I was interested to read this script.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thanks for reading this, Jim. This scene shows less the mindwork of Cornelius and more the budding relationship with Jennie. Scenes 7 and 8 were relatively abstract and fanciful, and it showed in the lower readership. It's picking up with this scene. But I did very little actual research on autism, only using my memories from childhood.