Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Football Chapter 19 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
25 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
The tension is building: girls against the boys. Could it happen? The girls beating the boys up the hill. Well, it isn't likely, but with writing the story, anything is possible. LOL. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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The tension is building: girls against the boys. Could it happen? The girls beating the boys up the hill. Well, it isn't likely, but with writing the story, anything is possible. LOL. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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You're correct anything can happen in my world. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
I thought we were about to see the hill race between the girls and the guys. I guess we have to wait. The map will give Gabriel another chance to come over after the game. I'm looking forward to more;
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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I thought we were about to see the hill race between the girls and the guys. I guess we have to wait. The map will give Gabriel another chance to come over after the game. I'm looking forward to more;
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
Game night! Always sooooo exciting! hahaha The whole town shows up and things get a little crazy. I love it! Still doing great.
Notes:
1.) "Coach Riley, why('re) you pacing?
--> but something must have happened between Katherine's convo with Angie because Gab was a distance away. How can he just speak (in a normal voice) to her now?
2.) "And I don't have my keys. "I promise I'll bring it by after
--> don't need the parenthesis in the middle
3.) Take the boys home. I'll bring Jordan." He turned toward the field.
--> that sounds like he means now. Not after the game. Just sounded weird to me.
--> He could also offer to meet her after the game AFTER his talk with the boys and give it to her OR just bring it to her house ALONG WITH JORDAN so she doesn't have to wait so long (since she has all the boys.)
You're doing a great job and I'm still enjoying!
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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Barb,
Game night! Always sooooo exciting! hahaha The whole town shows up and things get a little crazy. I love it! Still doing great.
Notes:
1.) "Coach Riley, why('re) you pacing?
--> but something must have happened between Katherine's convo with Angie because Gab was a distance away. How can he just speak (in a normal voice) to her now?
2.) "And I don't have my keys. "I promise I'll bring it by after
--> don't need the parenthesis in the middle
3.) Take the boys home. I'll bring Jordan." He turned toward the field.
--> that sounds like he means now. Not after the game. Just sounded weird to me.
--> He could also offer to meet her after the game AFTER his talk with the boys and give it to her OR just bring it to her house ALONG WITH JORDAN so she doesn't have to wait so long (since she has all the boys.)
You're doing a great job and I'm still enjoying!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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I have made the suggested corrections. Thank you for the help. It's always appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Lots of build-up in this scene about the race and the game. It looks like the football guys are going to have to perform that dance. Nice touch that Katherine is worried how Jordan will react to her being at his game. Is Gabriel giving her a song and dance about the map? Will he deliver it, or is he trying to put her at a disadvantage? Isn't there any actual schoolwork going on at this school? I'm still thinking there should be at least some reference to it. I know sports are all-important, but the kids do attend classes. judi
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Lots of build-up in this scene about the race and the game. It looks like the football guys are going to have to perform that dance. Nice touch that Katherine is worried how Jordan will react to her being at his game. Is Gabriel giving her a song and dance about the map? Will he deliver it, or is he trying to put her at a disadvantage? Isn't there any actual schoolwork going on at this school? I'm still thinking there should be at least some reference to it. I know sports are all-important, but the kids do attend classes. judi
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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There will be a little school work coming up, I promise. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're very welcome. I think Katherine's experience in teaching math would be a big part of the challenge she's facing. judi
Comment from Ben Colder
As always, an interesting saga. I can see some of this unfolding toward memories of my high school days playing football. Got to confess, I always liked the girls' events also. LOL. Still do. The softball college girls this year were great.
Good write Barb.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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As always, an interesting saga. I can see some of this unfolding toward memories of my high school days playing football. Got to confess, I always liked the girls' events also. LOL. Still do. The softball college girls this year were great.
Good write Barb.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.