More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Abandoned - 1941"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
29 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This calms the story down admirably, from the description of the international centered on the war , back to the personal with a wondeful study of the mill and in particular the river's weir and its destruction. I like such shifts for the different perspective they bring to what's going on.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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This calms the story down admirably, from the description of the international centered on the war , back to the personal with a wondeful study of the mill and in particular the river's weir and its destruction. I like such shifts for the different perspective they bring to what's going on.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Well spotted! And thanks for the six-star review. The pace has to vary when the whole thing is put together in chapters of ten or more pages, the changes in pace will, I hope work even better than in in a 1,900 word post.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear jim, Was the weir still broken, when you bought the property and restored the mill?
As for your story, we will now have to worry about what might happen to Jack, now that he's been posted to Africa.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Dear jim, Was the weir still broken, when you bought the property and restored the mill?
As for your story, we will now have to worry about what might happen to Jack, now that he's been posted to Africa.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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By the time I bought the place the weir had lowered across its width. It looked ok but it wouldnt raise the water high enough to run the mill. I used electrical power direct to the stones.
You should remember that this story is fiction based on fact.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I keep meaning to ask you if you are Welsh, you don't sound it when we chat on Messenger. But you do have the accent down so well in the writing. And your knowledge of the weir and the mill. I know you lived there for a while, but did you research all this? It's just so real, and I feel I am there with Jack listening to his father explaining what had gone wrong. Incredible writing, Jim. It's so sad that its working days are over. Now Jack is back in the war, I do hope you will be keeping him safe! He is the next generation. Well done, excellent writing and a pleasure to read. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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I keep meaning to ask you if you are Welsh, you don't sound it when we chat on Messenger. But you do have the accent down so well in the writing. And your knowledge of the weir and the mill. I know you lived there for a while, but did you research all this? It's just so real, and I feel I am there with Jack listening to his father explaining what had gone wrong. Incredible writing, Jim. It's so sad that its working days are over. Now Jack is back in the war, I do hope you will be keeping him safe! He is the next generation. Well done, excellent writing and a pleasure to read. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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I was brought up as a standard southern speaker. No I am not Welsh I just live there. Neither is the writing in this story Welsh it comes from Shropshire which of course is close. 'Reluctant Star was set in Wales, and there were Welsh speech patterns in that. I think I shall one day write an essay on writing accents. I have my own ideas about that.
Many thanks for the six star review.
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I think accents make stories more authentic. I like yours in this one. It would be a good idea to write an essay about them. I use them a lot in other stories I've written.
Comment from nomi338
I do pray that this series of unfortunate events will not cascade into a series of misfortunes to the effect of a major disaster. The Bache family have suffered enough. It is, I would like to believe, time for their fortunes to take a more positive turn. Like for instance, when will either or both of the twins find a taste of romance, they are certainly old enough.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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I do pray that this series of unfortunate events will not cascade into a series of misfortunes to the effect of a major disaster. The Bache family have suffered enough. It is, I would like to believe, time for their fortunes to take a more positive turn. Like for instance, when will either or both of the twins find a taste of romance, they are certainly old enough.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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The war has got in the way of romance but there is some to come in book 3. Many thanks for this concerned review. Hardship makes for a more powerful tale I'm thinking.
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Agreed. The problem is that I am a hopeless romantic.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This a sad chapter for sure. Everything originally revolved around this mill and now it is gone. I feel the sadness of Tom and especially Jack. You've conveyed all the details and the emotions well.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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This a sad chapter for sure. Everything originally revolved around this mill and now it is gone. I feel the sadness of Tom and especially Jack. You've conveyed all the details and the emotions well.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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It may not be productive any more but it will still be at the heart of this story and and the third book of the trilogy. Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
So it all worked against ever starting the mill up again The weir was destroyed and the order for the new shaft was lost. There was no record of it and the need for scrap iron was past so nothing came of any of the repairs or salvage. Well done. I hope Jack makes it through the war. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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So it all worked against ever starting the mill up again The weir was destroyed and the order for the new shaft was lost. There was no record of it and the need for scrap iron was past so nothing came of any of the repairs or salvage. Well done. I hope Jack makes it through the war. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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The story is nowhere near ended yet. Even if the mill's productive days are over. The fun is just about to start. Many thanks for this kind review.
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Okay! Bring it! LOL Nancy:)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Scrape metal and almost everything went to the war effort. Again, thank you for sharing. This is well written.
Tommy continued. 'The shallower the angle of descent, the smoother the water runs away at the new, lower level without curling back excessively in a vicious stop-wave. (comma needed after continued)
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Scrape metal and almost everything went to the war effort. Again, thank you for sharing. This is well written.
Tommy continued. 'The shallower the angle of descent, the smoother the water runs away at the new, lower level without curling back excessively in a vicious stop-wave. (comma needed after continued)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this positive review. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a multi-book effort to describe the Mortimers. Am I right. I remember this last name from your previous book. I wonder whether this is autobiographical.
I haven't been following your book because I was out to publish my second book "Chinese Lolita". It looks like your are doing very well.
Well done.
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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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This is a multi-book effort to describe the Mortimers. Am I right. I remember this last name from your previous book. I wonder whether this is autobiographical.
I haven't been following your book because I was out to publish my second book "Chinese Lolita". It looks like your are doing very well.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this kind review. I hope yours does well.
Comment from bhogg
--squadron was stood down (I think I would just say stood down, drop was)
I'm enjoying your story. The whole discussion about the weir and how all the 'parts' have to work together is fascinating and perhaps a discussion of more global issues. Well done. Bill
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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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--squadron was stood down (I think I would just say stood down, drop was)
I'm enjoying your story. The whole discussion about the weir and how all the 'parts' have to work together is fascinating and perhaps a discussion of more global issues. Well done. Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much for your review. The use of the passive voice here is in line with UK military usage. The squadron stand down of its own accord, the order would have to come from above. Hence the passive voice.
