Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Betrayal Chapter 24"In the title.
43 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Ha! Just when I thought the tension had past! Great chapter!
Suggestion here. (first remove the comma after "Place") but also, I would have a transitionary physical action here to illustrate his "Ah-ha moment", like clapping his hands together, or some such. Just a thought, though, based on my gut reaction.
I'm just guessing that somewhere along the like a romance will blossom between Grant and Tania?
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
  |
Ha! Just when I thought the tension had past! Great chapter!
I'm just guessing that somewhere along the like a romance will blossom between Grant and Tania?
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, and the fabulous review. I also want to thank you for your bit of advice. I've changed that sentence now and it reads:
? Wait a minute! He thumped Lorna's desk, making her jump. 'I?ve got a pile of letters, signed and witnessed, referring back to my adoption. I?ll get them over to Roland straight away.? Feeling a lot more in control, a huge grin of satisfaction replaced his angry scowl.
Thank you, my friend. Romance??? Hmm. lol. Take care and have a wonderful week. :)) Sandra xx
-
A good writer is like a good poker player ... never show your hand.
Comment from royowen
Isn't it funny when a felon gets so much sympathy from the "system" which seems to favour the offender opposed to the offendee. This is a classic case, so I can understand Grant's anger. I can likewise understand the supporting families of people that are murdered. Well done, you've put "spice" back into the plot. Good scribing Sandra, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
 |
Isn't it funny when a felon gets so much sympathy from the "system" which seems to favour the offender opposed to the offendee. This is a classic case, so I can understand Grant's anger. I can likewise understand the supporting families of people that are murdered. Well done, you've put "spice" back into the plot. Good scribing Sandra, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
Thank you so much, Roy, for this lovely review. It does seem to be that way, in real life, too. Grant has his work cut out now, keeping Tania safe, and Monica. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part, my friend. Thank you. Warm hugs, and love, Sandra xxx
-
Well done Sandra
Comment from F. William Lester
Hi Sandra, I've been away and have missed a few intervening chapters. However, I was able to surmise what I missed. Well written. This chapter holds my interest and makes me want to read on. The characters are well fleshed out and believable. The pace is fast and the plot is great. As for your question about Colin, I lean toward the bail side. I'm not familiar with the British legal system and where exactly you took poetic license (Yank spelling), but I think with the malevolence of the mother, the bail feeds better into her part of the story and strengthens the plot by giving them the weight of two in concert to create more havoc. Knowing your writing skills though, either will produce a tense plot with an abundance of twists and turns. Keep up the good work and stay well--the light at the end of the (pandemic) tunnel isn't a train.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
Hi Sandra, I've been away and have missed a few intervening chapters. However, I was able to surmise what I missed. Well written. This chapter holds my interest and makes me want to read on. The characters are well fleshed out and believable. The pace is fast and the plot is great. As for your question about Colin, I lean toward the bail side. I'm not familiar with the British legal system and where exactly you took poetic license (Yank spelling), but I think with the malevolence of the mother, the bail feeds better into her part of the story and strengthens the plot by giving them the weight of two in concert to create more havoc. Knowing your writing skills though, either will produce a tense plot with an abundance of twists and turns. Keep up the good work and stay well--the light at the end of the (pandemic) tunnel isn't a train.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
It's been a while, hasn't it, I hope it had nothing to do with ill health. But, it was a wonderful surprise to see your name on this review, thank you so very much! You and most of the other readers have told me to stick with bail. So that's what I'll do. (I'm so pleased about it, too. I wasn't sure how to plot an escape!)
I didn't realise we spelt, licence/license differently. You are the only one who mentioned it. That is so interesting.
Thank you again, Frank, for this lovely review, and the compliment!! Have a wonderful week. :)) Sandra xx
-
I'm fine. My wife got her second shot yesterday and I get my last in a week. Maybe then we can breathe a bit easier. Enjoy your week as well, Sandra. Spring is in the air!
-
We've had our first jab, and we get our second one in April. It will be so nice not to have this worry hanging over us all the time. Yes, Spring is in the air and I'm really looking forward to it. :))
Comment from tfawcus
You've certainly upped the ante in this chapter. Just when it looked as though all was about to be resolved, you've thrown a very plausible spanner in the works. I think you're right to have Colin let out on bail because under the circumstances you've outlined, that makes Grant relatively powerless and stacks the odds against a successful resolution. If he'd escaped, that would simply have compounded his guilt.
This chapter reads well. I like the way you use Monica's cheerful presence as a foil to the tension.
Just one very minor suggestion. Where you've said holding a holdall, I might have written clutching a holdall, just to remove the repetition.
I suspect that, as Tania learns of Grant's unjust treatment, it will soften her attitude towards him and help to cement their relationship.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
You've certainly upped the ante in this chapter. Just when it looked as though all was about to be resolved, you've thrown a very plausible spanner in the works. I think you're right to have Colin let out on bail because under the circumstances you've outlined, that makes Grant relatively powerless and stacks the odds against a successful resolution. If he'd escaped, that would simply have compounded his guilt.
This chapter reads well. I like the way you use Monica's cheerful presence as a foil to the tension.
Just one very minor suggestion. Where you've said holding a holdall, I might have written clutching a holdall, just to remove the repetition.
I suspect that, as Tania learns of Grant's unjust treatment, it will soften her attitude towards him and help to cement their relationship.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
I know, it's fun, isn't it. Lol. Thank you so much for this lovely review, Tony, and for the six stars. It wasn't until I read that sentence out loud, it sounded so funny. I took your suggestion and have used, 'clutching a holdall.' Thank you for that. You have joined the majority of reviewers who think that Colin being out on bail is best. Thank you for that, I would have hated to work out an escape plan! LOL. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from aryr
Goodness gracious, Sandra, what a dilemma? His mother as definitely hoodwinked him and she thinks she can control Colin, what a laugh. Now that Colin is out on bail he will try his best to get to Tania. Perhaps Roland was correct about getting Tania away and definitely not contacting his mother or Colin. Who knew Colin had a sadistic personality disorder, amazing? Very well done. Blessings, smiles and hugs.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
Goodness gracious, Sandra, what a dilemma? His mother as definitely hoodwinked him and she thinks she can control Colin, what a laugh. Now that Colin is out on bail he will try his best to get to Tania. Perhaps Roland was correct about getting Tania away and definitely not contacting his mother or Colin. Who knew Colin had a sadistic personality disorder, amazing? Very well done. Blessings, smiles and hugs.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
Thank you, Alie, for another lovely review. His mother truly is a piece of work, and she'll do anything to keep Colin out of jail. Grant will have to keep Tania safe now. That might be fun! Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx
-
You are so welcome, Sandra. I have a feeling that Grant will protect Tania. Hugs.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An excellent chapter, Sandra, that
begins well with Grant's visit to Tania,
and her release from the hospital.
-It's topped off with Jeff and Monica.
-But then there are more fireworks
as Grant goes to his office and listens
to what his lawyer has to say.
-It always seems that the bad guys
and connivers get the upper hand,
and the mother certainly fits that category.
-It seems that every suggestion Grant has,
the attorney puts in another obstacle.
-It's good that he was in the office
and Lorna was able to give some advice.
-Right now, he is doing the best that he can,
seeing to Tania and how to handle things
so she stays safe.
-As far as your thoughts regarding Colin,
from the story, you say he has been
released in care of his mother so I think
there might be some other choices than
the ones you mentioned. I will think on it!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
-An excellent chapter, Sandra, that
begins well with Grant's visit to Tania,
and her release from the hospital.
-It's topped off with Jeff and Monica.
-But then there are more fireworks
as Grant goes to his office and listens
to what his lawyer has to say.
-It always seems that the bad guys
and connivers get the upper hand,
and the mother certainly fits that category.
-It seems that every suggestion Grant has,
the attorney puts in another obstacle.
-It's good that he was in the office
and Lorna was able to give some advice.
-Right now, he is doing the best that he can,
seeing to Tania and how to handle things
so she stays safe.
-As far as your thoughts regarding Colin,
from the story, you say he has been
released in care of his mother so I think
there might be some other choices than
the ones you mentioned. I will think on it!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
It's not good, and Grant is really angry. But, he won't let it get to him, well, not entirely. If he was to see Colin right now, he'd probably kill him. Lol. Trouble is, the story would be over!!
Thank you so very much for this detailed review, Pam, and those lovely stars. I really appreciate both. Now Grant has some sorting out to do, which could lead to many other things. Some, I know you'll like. :)) Thank you again, my dear friend. I'll wait for your thoughts. Warm hugs, and love, Sandra xxx
-
You are very welcome for the stars and review, Sandra. I agree that Grant has a lot of sorting out to do. It will be interesting to see what you think. Hugs back to you!!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Sandra, This is bad news indeed. Christ, I though Tania would be safe, at least for a while. But that is not to be. That woman is evil, but evil persons are often very clever. Deare me. What is to happen now?
I love the story, as you know. Waiting for more. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
Hi Sandra, This is bad news indeed. Christ, I though Tania would be safe, at least for a while. But that is not to be. That woman is evil, but evil persons are often very clever. Deare me. What is to happen now?
I love the story, as you know. Waiting for more. A big hug, Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
LOL, Ulla, I love your review, thank you so much, and a big thank you for the six lovely stars. I'm glad you liked this part. I've been getting suggestions on how to kill Colin and his mother, I'm really pleased with the way it's going. Thanks, my friend, you have been a great source of encouragement. Warm hugs, have a lovely week. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from damommy
You definitely went the right way. Out on bail is more realistic than an escape. Also, this gives you the opportunity to bring out family history which explains a lot. I knew last chapter that something was going to happen, but I didn't know what. Grant needs to get Tania in a safe place soon!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
You definitely went the right way. Out on bail is more realistic than an escape. Also, this gives you the opportunity to bring out family history which explains a lot. I knew last chapter that something was going to happen, but I didn't know what. Grant needs to get Tania in a safe place soon!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
Hello my dear SATP, thank you so much for those lovely stars and the wonderful review. You are on the leading team for him being out on bail, I'm so pleased about that, trying to work out an escape would have been a nightmare!! Lol. I'll send you an email tomorrow. Love you lots, my dear. :)) Sandra xxxxx
-
Looking forward to email.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
The first thing I thought of when I read the description was, 'oh no, Colin is out of jail.' You did a great job, Sandra, with this informative chapter. That mother, and I use the word loosely, has severe control issues. They say that the kind of behavior Colin shows runs in the family. I can see where he got it, or most of it--from his dear mother. She is an evil, conniving person. I see new 'things' to write into this novel based on this chapter--and most aren't good. I see Colin in some kind of stand-off, and is killed after he kills someone--maybe his mother--in a fit of rage.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
The first thing I thought of when I read the description was, 'oh no, Colin is out of jail.' You did a great job, Sandra, with this informative chapter. That mother, and I use the word loosely, has severe control issues. They say that the kind of behavior Colin shows runs in the family. I can see where he got it, or most of it--from his dear mother. She is an evil, conniving person. I see new 'things' to write into this novel based on this chapter--and most aren't good. I see Colin in some kind of stand-off, and is killed after he kills someone--maybe his mother--in a fit of rage.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
I love your review, Jan! You made me laugh big time. What I loved was your thoughts about Colin's mother, and Colin himself, lol. Perhaps they can shoot each other! You're right about it running in the family, we know that his mother isn't very nice, but we don't know what his father is like. At least Grant only has his late father, who died when Grant was still a baby, and his grandfather in him. Thank you, Jan, you really brightened my day up with your lovely review. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Sandra, well written chapter with lots of decisions to make. Colin alone is a problem, but your mother - between them will prove a difficult situation to overcome. If, as it appears, Colin is in as bad a state as appears in the story I wonder if he would be allowed bail. Would he not be in a secure mental institution - I don't know. Violent, unstable and mentally ill - a dangerous mix! He sounds more like he would attempt to escape. If you have him escaping, then your story line will either be change (if you already have it in hand) and this would make the story longer LOL! Do you feel like doing that ? Whatever you decide I'm sure it will work. Poor Grant - remarkably success in the world of finance, but what a sad past. Keep up the good work - as if I need to tell you that LOL. Love Dorothy xxx
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
Hello Sandra, well written chapter with lots of decisions to make. Colin alone is a problem, but your mother - between them will prove a difficult situation to overcome. If, as it appears, Colin is in as bad a state as appears in the story I wonder if he would be allowed bail. Would he not be in a secure mental institution - I don't know. Violent, unstable and mentally ill - a dangerous mix! He sounds more like he would attempt to escape. If you have him escaping, then your story line will either be change (if you already have it in hand) and this would make the story longer LOL! Do you feel like doing that ? Whatever you decide I'm sure it will work. Poor Grant - remarkably success in the world of finance, but what a sad past. Keep up the good work - as if I need to tell you that LOL. Love Dorothy xxx
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
Thank you so very much for the six stars, Dorothy, and this lovely review. Before Colin was taken before the court, he'd been put back on his medication and is now acting normally. The minds of maniacs are very devious. With the private doctors treating him at the moment, all in his mother's pay, who knows what will happen next. His mother is no better. At least Grant only takes after his late father, so no problems with him. But he has a lot to deal with and so has Tania. Thank you, my friend, I really appreciated this review. Warm hugs and love. Sandra xxxx