More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Mill not the Baby - 1901"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
34 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Did little Tommy Bache do it? I do not think so, nor do I believe that anyone else does either. I do understand that Peter Allen felt compelled to bring his name up as a potential suspect. I felt all along that he was probably in love with Hettie from a safe distance. And if anything would be much more likely to end Tom Joliffe's life than to take Hettie's.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Did little Tommy Bache do it? I do not think so, nor do I believe that anyone else does either. I do understand that Peter Allen felt compelled to bring his name up as a potential suspect. I felt all along that he was probably in love with Hettie from a safe distance. And if anything would be much more likely to end Tom Joliffe's life than to take Hettie's.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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You have it there. Yes, Allen feels that every possibility must be investigated and of course many of them will turn out to be blind alley, Many thanks for this six-star review.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a very well-written portion of the story with loads of details and the methodical approach to figuring it out with logic and common sense. I am enjoying reading it, Jim. :)
Melissa
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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This is a very well-written portion of the story with loads of details and the methodical approach to figuring it out with logic and common sense. I am enjoying reading it, Jim. :)
Melissa
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. I am glad you are enjoying the experience.
Comment from JudyE
Goodness, my help will be superfluous soon. lol I was past halfway before I found anything at all. :)
I found the conversation between the three very interesting and the dialogue stays authentic.
For your consideration:
Not directly said Tommy, but what about that bit as mentions Tom? That be about the babby, surely?' - quote marks missing after 'directly' and before 'but'
' So how can something caught in that stop wave thing = there is an extra space before 'So'
'I suppose it has to be someone called Tom,' said Heather. My feyther might be said to have had a motive, but you said it were established that he were at home all that evening, dinna you, Mr Allen?' - quote marks needed before 'My feyther'
While her were alive he were always under that threat of disinheritance, weren't he Heather.' - question mark needed at end.
They'll have to do without their bedtime story for once. They be tired anyway.' - I was expecting Heather to say 'anyroad' but then she does have a better standard of English than Tommy.
He was glad to be able to make good use of the hiatus - I might have deleted 'good'
Stay safe
Judy
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Goodness, my help will be superfluous soon. lol I was past halfway before I found anything at all. :)
I found the conversation between the three very interesting and the dialogue stays authentic.
For your consideration:
Not directly said Tommy, but what about that bit as mentions Tom? That be about the babby, surely?' - quote marks missing after 'directly' and before 'but'
' So how can something caught in that stop wave thing = there is an extra space before 'So'
'I suppose it has to be someone called Tom,' said Heather. My feyther might be said to have had a motive, but you said it were established that he were at home all that evening, dinna you, Mr Allen?' - quote marks needed before 'My feyther'
While her were alive he were always under that threat of disinheritance, weren't he Heather.' - question mark needed at end.
They'll have to do without their bedtime story for once. They be tired anyway.' - I was expecting Heather to say 'anyroad' but then she does have a better standard of English than Tommy.
He was glad to be able to make good use of the hiatus - I might have deleted 'good'
Stay safe
Judy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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You will never be superfluous or even redundant, Judy! You are one of my most valued reviewers, probing my weakest spots unmercifully. If I am getting better, and giving you less work, it is your tutelage that is responsible. You would get a thumb every time if FS would let me.
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Thank you for the kind words. It is appreciated as I worry sometimes about being too picky or 'in your face' or even, God forbid, wrong!! lol
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It is difficult to be 'wrong' with commas as the 'rules' about them are often broken to avoid them going viral in a piece of writing.
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow, that was a full chapter, Jim, and a lot of technical information to dish out to the reader, like the work of the "stop wave" and how that could have caused so much damage to what would already be a corpse. That couldn't have been easy to write. Very tightly written and thorough.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Wow, that was a full chapter, Jim, and a lot of technical information to dish out to the reader, like the work of the "stop wave" and how that could have caused so much damage to what would already be a corpse. That couldn't have been easy to write. Very tightly written and thorough.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2021
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Many thanks for this detailed review of this chapter. Where technical matters are concerned it is often hard to know how much to put in and how much to leave out.
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No, no, that was what made it so effective. You chose a character with a a ton of knowledge, but little language education, to explain a complex subject to his wife, who was also lacking in subject-knowledge as well as language skills. You maneuvered the difficulty masterfully.
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Thank you Jay. That is really good to know. Makes me very happy.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
It's beginning to look like a real mystery and is, as always, well written. I've finally come to understand most of the dialect. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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It's beginning to look like a real mystery and is, as always, well written. I've finally come to understand most of the dialect. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I am pleased you are becoming more familiar with the local dialect and that you are continuing to follow this story. Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The mystery is still intriguing us all and I reckon Hettie was pushed, but it may not have been any of the Toms. But how, after all this time could Allen ever hope to get to the bottom of it and know the truth? As always, great dialogue and I heard 'babby' used in the Black Country and I hated that word and so did my Mother! Ha ha ha, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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The mystery is still intriguing us all and I reckon Hettie was pushed, but it may not have been any of the Toms. But how, after all this time could Allen ever hope to get to the bottom of it and know the truth? As always, great dialogue and I heard 'babby' used in the Black Country and I hated that word and so did my Mother! Ha ha ha, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I think Allen is simply testing hypotheses here. Everyone is under suspicion until no one is under suspicion. Many thanks for reviewing.
South Shropshire and the Black Country are not so far apart. Shropshire is such a long county I dont think there is such a thing as a Shropshire accent that can be said to cover the whole county.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another wrench thrown into the mix! Part way through this chapter you had us believing it was coming to an end, that Hettie had indeed committed suicide, and now...? Of course I'll be back next week for more.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Another wrench thrown into the mix! Part way through this chapter you had us believing it was coming to an end, that Hettie had indeed committed suicide, and now...? Of course I'll be back next week for more.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Many thanks for this fine, six-star review. It is much appreciated
Comment from BethShelby
It sounds as though Allen is trying to make a case of perhaps This Tom may have pushed her in order to inherit the mill. He denies it and gives reasons why he wouldn't have. It seems out of character for him to have done this. I hope he didn't. I wonder if this mystery is going to be solved with positive proof.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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It sounds as though Allen is trying to make a case of perhaps This Tom may have pushed her in order to inherit the mill. He denies it and gives reasons why he wouldn't have. It seems out of character for him to have done this. I hope he didn't. I wonder if this mystery is going to be solved with positive proof.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I think Allen is simply testing hypotheses here. Everyone is under suspicion until no one is under suspicion. Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, now this is taking an interesting turn. A murder never has a time of limitation, but maybe the good Tom doesn't know that. Anyway, there are now three 'Toms' in the picture, but to my mind there is also Heather to consider. It's getting more interesting by the minute. Very well written as always. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Hi Jim, now this is taking an interesting turn. A murder never has a time of limitation, but maybe the good Tom doesn't know that. Anyway, there are now three 'Toms' in the picture, but to my mind there is also Heather to consider. It's getting more interesting by the minute. Very well written as always. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I think Allen is simply testing hypotheses here. Everyone is under suspicion until no one is under suspicion. Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment from greyson ernst
this is really really good nice job soon you will be #1 novelist how long did this take but anyways keep writing and stay safe have a good good day :D
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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this is really really good nice job soon you will be #1 novelist how long did this take but anyways keep writing and stay safe have a good good day :D
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this encouraging review. This has been in preparation for a long time.