Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Tattooed Angel"A complete story in written as a poem.
28 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Beth, that is such a wonderful story. I'll agree with you that God sent an angel. Yes, we never know who we are dealing with. I often think the man on the street waiting for donations, could be Jesus Himself.
Ralf
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Beth, that is such a wonderful story. I'll agree with you that God sent an angel. Yes, we never know who we are dealing with. I often think the man on the street waiting for donations, could be Jesus Himself.
Ralf
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and comments. I don't know what we would have done. The shed the man came from looked deserted. We were so surprised anyone was there and then he looked so bad we were afraid of him at first.
Beth
Comment from Mastery
Hi dear Beth. I liked the story and the rhymes in this poem. Well written and close enough to be realistic for all readers. I liked this stanza in particular:
"Our alternator was quite shot.
Good information, this was not.
No store was open on this day,
and had there been, we couldn't pay."
A suggestion, if I may: Change this line from " holiday; no one's around." which is present tense to "holiday, no one around." which is past tense, I think.
Good luck with this one. Bob
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Hi dear Beth. I liked the story and the rhymes in this poem. Well written and close enough to be realistic for all readers. I liked this stanza in particular:
"Our alternator was quite shot.
Good information, this was not.
No store was open on this day,
and had there been, we couldn't pay."
A suggestion, if I may: Change this line from " holiday; no one's around." which is present tense to "holiday, no one around." which is past tense, I think.
Good luck with this one. Bob
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you Bob. I appreciate you showing the verse you liked. The suggestion for a change is good. I will do it.
Beth
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:) Bob
Comment from DonandVicki
I can relate to your poem. When we were younger...Much younger...We had a similar experience. I know the devil is afoot but there are a lot of nice helpful people out there still.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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I can relate to your poem. When we were younger...Much younger...We had a similar experience. I know the devil is afoot but there are a lot of nice helpful people out there still.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for your review and for sharing you experience. Sometime they pop up at just the perfect moment.
Beth
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Beth!
Oh! I have had a few meetings and experiences with "tattooed angels of which you write. And I am always left humbled and grateful.
Nice tempo.
Fine story.
Well-crafted!
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Hello Beth!
Oh! I have had a few meetings and experiences with "tattooed angels of which you write. And I am always left humbled and grateful.
Nice tempo.
Fine story.
Well-crafted!
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much Diane, I appreciate the review and the comments. They are out there.
Beth
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Very nicely written story in a poem. Goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover. You had an angel come to your aid. Things are not always as they appear. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Very nicely written story in a poem. Goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover. You had an angel come to your aid. Things are not always as they appear. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much Joanne. I really appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Sankey
I loved this! You did well. I like how it is based on fact as well. Also you can't tell a book by its cover, ha. Only one suggestion with a couple of options for you to choose. In the heading. A stranger give(s) aid in a time of need.
OR A stranger g[i](a)ve aid in a time of need.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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I loved this! You did well. I like how it is based on fact as well. Also you can't tell a book by its cover, ha. Only one suggestion with a couple of options for you to choose. In the heading. A stranger give(s) aid in a time of need.
OR A stranger g[i](a)ve aid in a time of need.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm so glad you liked it. I really appreciate the six stars. I'll fix the error. There is a new story in my portfolio paying a dollar. It is in a competition. You might like it. It's a true story with names changed to make it fiction.
Comment from Wendy G
This is a great poem, and certainly an important message about not judging by appearances. It flows smoothly and fluently. Best wishes for the competition.
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reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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This is a great poem, and certainly an important message about not judging by appearances. It flows smoothly and fluently. Best wishes for the competition.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much Wendy. I really appreciate the review.
Beth
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Oh, you wrote this story so well, it had my attention from the picture and first line to the very last. Yes, we should not judge people by their looks.
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reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Oh, you wrote this story so well, it had my attention from the picture and first line to the very last. Yes, we should not judge people by their looks.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and comments.
Beth