Reviews from

To Mend This Broken Land

A Shakespearean sonnet for these times ...

54 total reviews 
Comment from Rx kingpen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice thoughts. If only it were that easy. Who knows. The pen is mightier than the sword, some say.
A good poem. Thought provoking, at the least. In the end, I wouldn't bet on any reconciliation between even the red and blue. Maybe its the white robes that will mend the bridge, when its all said and done. Thank you.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Warrior!
    Love your comment about the "white robes."

    Thank you!
    diane
reply by Rx kingpen on 23-Nov-2020
    You can take the white robes in so many ways. Its the charm of poetry. At least a part of it.
    My initial thought was the righteous standing up to bring peace. It could mean Angels. Or maybe, more enticing, the Anointed 144 thousand who rule with Christ in Heaven. Yeah, I think I like that one better
    Kkk never even crossed my mind but now I see where someone might stretch it to conformity. Does that make sense?
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Thank you, Warrior!
    My initial thought was "angels" = white robes.
    I also like the thought of "righteous standing up to bring peace."
    I am not familiar with the "Anointed 144 thousand who rule with Christ in Heaven." Will have to research that concept.
    Thank you for taking the time to explain what you meant, and for being gracious to my query.
    diane

Comment from Hopeful2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A well-crafted sonnet with a powerful message, and a perfect visual of a country as broken as a piece of glass covering our flag.
The hope of walking together to seek some common ground feels like it could work.Thanks for sharing, good luck in your high level of writing, and God bless our country.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Hopeful!
    I, too, am "hopeful." :)

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Amen!! You have said it so beautifully! And if our entire country would humbly itself and pray to the Lord for healing and unity, He will do it. It's just that so many have idolized fame and wealth and forgotten to put the Lord first. Wonderful sonnet and I hope you do well in the contest!

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Helen!
    So pleased my words resonated with you!

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from judester
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a powerful, yet pleading poem.
We will get through this, and I envision a powerful sweep of peace and clarity across the land. A sense of calm.
I saw Biden waiting to speak at the podium as the girl was nervously and quickly wiping it down. He reached out and just touched her shoulder as if to say it's okay.
Such a simple gesture, but gives me hope for the future.
Stay safe, j

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello judester!
    I am honored by your exceptional rating and thoughtful review!

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from WalkerMan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This hopeful post is a perfectly composed Shakespearean sonnet with flawless iambic pentameter, a-b-a-b rhyme scheme, proper volta, and final couplet; and I like the optimistic theme based on reasonable effort to understand the other side. Superb, and aptly illustrated (though the second image did not show, and I had to capture it in another way). The star-rating is solely for these factors.

That said, such understanding cannot be achieved as stated because the opposing side is totally incapable of both reason and willingness to explain or compromise in any way. They have NO argument in favor of their point of view, so all they do is try to intimidate others into keeping silent and letting them get away with their agenda. The leaders deem themselves elite, with no need to reason with those they consider inferior, and their indoctrinated followers do nothing but spout what the corrupt "news" media repeat ad nauseum until people come to believe it.

Thus, you have proven your good heart and open mind; but the reality is that none of your effort matters to those you are willing to listen to. Sadly, there will be no peace until that side has no power to separate this country from its founding principles, including egalitarian rule of law and common decency. We cannot allow self-appointed "elites" here, which is why we never have recognized class designations as still found elsewhere. My doctorate does not make me superior to someone who never finished high school; it only makes me more informed in a few specific ways.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Mike,
    I am honored by your exceptional rating and thoughtful review.
    Odd about the inserted photograph: Debbie Pope was not able to distinguish it, either. I re-inserted another one after I read your review.
    I truly attempt to be reasonable when discussing politics and/or the presidential election with individuals who have different opinions. Unfortunately, as you have noted, they have only attempted to intimidate me with name-calling and ad hominem attacks. For that very reason, I wrote this sonnet ... Such a sad state of affairs.

    Thank you again, Mike.
    diane
reply by WalkerMan on 23-Nov-2020
    You are most welcome, Diane. Yes, the new picture is visible.

    The truly decent and compassionate among us are heartened by your viewpoint, whether or not your efforts would succeed or, at least, make some degree of difference. The problem is that the other side has neither decency nor compassion, despite their claims to the contrary. -- Mike
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Thank you again, Mike!

    Wishing you a beautiful Thanksgiving!
    diane
reply by WalkerMan on 23-Nov-2020
    You are again welcome, Diane. Thank you, and the same to you. -- Mike
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A magnificent sonnet, dear Diane. The theme is lofty as befits the form, the language poetic, the tone noble. A fine patriotic write. Your goodwill infuses the write from beginning to end.

Personally, and I know I'm in the minority here, I don't think of the country as broken no matter what the political pundits say. I see the country as evolving. The pandemic seems to have acted as a catalyst in bringing problems, issues, challenges to the forefront that have existed hitherto behind the scenes..

"If only I could walk with you a piece,
And truly come to know what shapes your world,
Our commonality would then increase ~
A brotherhood of dignity unfurled."

The politics of confusion and conflict may well continue..But at the community and neighborhood levels across this land, it is possible and necessary to understand one another. Zoom and similar technologies even allow us to reach out beyond our immediate areas. My training and experience tell me that dialogue is essential for this process to succeed. We need to do the hard and patient work of resolving our differences face to virtual face..

Good luck in the contest.

Stay safe and blessed

Julia

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Julia,
    I am pleased my sonnet resonated with you.
    I have no answers - other than the ones I proposed in my sonnet!

    Congratulations again on your first place honor in the 3/6/9 poem contest. Such a lovely offering!

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
    diane
reply by juliaSjames on 23-Nov-2020
    Thanks diane. You're such a lovely generous soul. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

    Julia
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    I try!
    :)

    Take Care!
    diane
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Diane, I waited until Today when I had a new supply of six star packages to hand out. By posting this poem, you have voiced the fervent wish every one of us must have; unless they are the ones who thrive on contention.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Suzanna~
    I am honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review!
    So pleased my words resonated with you!

    Thank you!
    Happy Thanksgiving!
    diane
Comment from ESOSTINE
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A great peace so needed at this moment in time when hatred untold seems to have reared up in all places of our society even in places of high esteem. Beautifully penned! Thanks, Mrs KT for sharing your thoughts.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello ESOSTINE!
    I am honored by your exceptional rating and positive review.
    So pleased you enjoyed.

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have a wonderfully hopeful and optimistic outlook, and I wish that mere common-sense discussion were enough to change such people's point of view, but I fear they're too set in their ways, and their way of thinking, to be changed that easily, if at all.

That said, you expressed your feelings in a lovely, well rhymed and poetic manner, and I wish you luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
    Hello Michele!
    I fully understand your perspective.
    Such is reality.

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice entry in the sonnet category, with all of mankind as the object.
It is a heart-felt, valiant effort and would that it were possible for just words to miraculously change men's hearts and minds.

Your sonnet follows the rules as I know them. You've done a nice job with rhyme and meter.
Best of luck in the contest.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
    Hello Cynthia,
    Glad you enjoyed.
    Have you played with inserting a photograph at the bottom of your poems like you mentioned when you reviewed my "Beneath Pine Boughs?" Let me know if I can help.

    Take Care,
    diane
reply by Cynthia Adams1 on 22-Nov-2020
    I appreciate your offer. I'll think about it but I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to computers, except word processing. Thanks again.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
    No worries, Cynthia.
    It's a part of Advanced Editor here on FanStory = not a function of your computer. Just a nice touch = you can align photos in the middle of an offering or at the end.

    Take Care,
    diane