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Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Taken to the Extreme"A series of like minded poems
35 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Jesse,
This sounded a lot like a recipe - there in the middle - for baking a pie of peace. *smile* If only it were that simple, right?
I do like the take-away message that the answer lies with each of us - to look at and do things differently. Thanks, my friend!
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Jesse,
This sounded a lot like a recipe - there in the middle - for baking a pie of peace. *smile* If only it were that simple, right?
I do like the take-away message that the answer lies with each of us - to look at and do things differently. Thanks, my friend!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good Morning, Jesse!
Goodness!
We awoke this morning to sleet, rain, snow, and 45 mph winds.
Lost internet and power for the past three hours - which explains why I wasn't able to review this exceptionally well-crafted work until now! Whew!
So ...
What I appreciate about your offering is - along with its important, realistic, and powerful message, is its format:
You present a philosophical stance in one stanza, and then proceed to comment.
I immediately was interested in your offering when you bring to readers' attention the concept of "black and white" thinking. A sociological term that is still - unfortunately - alive and well in our country.
Food for thought, present well.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
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Good Morning, Jesse!
Goodness!
We awoke this morning to sleet, rain, snow, and 45 mph winds.
Lost internet and power for the past three hours - which explains why I wasn't able to review this exceptionally well-crafted work until now! Whew!
So ...
What I appreciate about your offering is - along with its important, realistic, and powerful message, is its format:
You present a philosophical stance in one stanza, and then proceed to comment.
I immediately was interested in your offering when you bring to readers' attention the concept of "black and white" thinking. A sociological term that is still - unfortunately - alive and well in our country.
Food for thought, present well.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
Comment from rama devi
Great job, my friend. Important messages delivered with clarity.
NOTES:
Well voiced, and highly relevant, especially at this time:
Conclusions reached with black and white thinking
encourage intolerance and acts of injustice
The enjambment between these lines is awkward:
It's hard, but we must try
otherwise, we will live and die
Maybe try a dash after TRY or a cap on Otherwise so it is a new sentence.
Good line:
A good idea gone terribly wrong was yesterday's song
Inability to see how theory and practice
are different conceptional realities;
This is a fragment and feels awkward, grammatically. Perhaps add in a few words to make the sentence complete prior to the semicolon.
LOVE THIS THEME:
with visions of cooperation
that must be anticipated and mixed in
allowing for harmony instead of discord
unity instead of division
commonality instead of opposition
WELL VOICED:
Reacting positively to taking on responsibility
is a way of being genuine and true
to oneself, as well as others
Favorite line:
let love be in fashion once again---
Have a great week!
Warmly,
rd
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Great job, my friend. Important messages delivered with clarity.
NOTES:
Well voiced, and highly relevant, especially at this time:
Conclusions reached with black and white thinking
encourage intolerance and acts of injustice
The enjambment between these lines is awkward:
It's hard, but we must try
otherwise, we will live and die
Maybe try a dash after TRY or a cap on Otherwise so it is a new sentence.
Good line:
A good idea gone terribly wrong was yesterday's song
Inability to see how theory and practice
are different conceptional realities;
This is a fragment and feels awkward, grammatically. Perhaps add in a few words to make the sentence complete prior to the semicolon.
LOVE THIS THEME:
with visions of cooperation
that must be anticipated and mixed in
allowing for harmony instead of discord
unity instead of division
commonality instead of opposition
WELL VOICED:
Reacting positively to taking on responsibility
is a way of being genuine and true
to oneself, as well as others
Favorite line:
let love be in fashion once again---
Have a great week!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Nothing in life is ever black and white, there are always grey areas to consider and compassion for people's circumstances and understanding goes a long way to helping others, a poignant write Jesse, love Dolly x
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Nothing in life is ever black and white, there are always grey areas to consider and compassion for people's circumstances and understanding goes a long way to helping others, a poignant write Jesse, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderful and much needed message for today! Thank you, Jesse! It's been such a terrible time of "black and white" thinking with various groups maligning the other with all kinds of name-calling without taking time to "Try to allow for differences." My favorite lines were:
"both require moderation
with visions of cooperation
that must be anticipated and mixed in
allowing for harmony instead of discord
unity instead of division
commonality instead of opposition"
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Wonderful and much needed message for today! Thank you, Jesse! It's been such a terrible time of "black and white" thinking with various groups maligning the other with all kinds of name-calling without taking time to "Try to allow for differences." My favorite lines were:
"both require moderation
with visions of cooperation
that must be anticipated and mixed in
allowing for harmony instead of discord
unity instead of division
commonality instead of opposition"
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Heh Jesse,
It's good to see your writing growing and blossoming into something that is less needy and more inspiring. This one is philosophical, motivating, and without being preachy, absorbing. I agree with most of what you are saying Jesse. We do need to pay attention to something other than ourselves and make this planet better, more loving and a place we want our children to thrive. We need to get over ourselves and your write says that to me eloquently!
Hope you are well and thriving! Please stay safe. xoxo Kiwi
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Heh Jesse,
It's good to see your writing growing and blossoming into something that is less needy and more inspiring. This one is philosophical, motivating, and without being preachy, absorbing. I agree with most of what you are saying Jesse. We do need to pay attention to something other than ourselves and make this planet better, more loving and a place we want our children to thrive. We need to get over ourselves and your write says that to me eloquently!
Hope you are well and thriving! Please stay safe. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Wholeheartedly agree with every word my friend! Those of narrow thought and black and white beliefs do not allow for growth, acceptance or tolerance of those who challenge them. I enjoyed the structure of this poem for its variation and inclusion of gentle rhyme which added to the impact of it. If only these words were the edict of the many, our lives would be so much easier. Well said!
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Wholeheartedly agree with every word my friend! Those of narrow thought and black and white beliefs do not allow for growth, acceptance or tolerance of those who challenge them. I enjoyed the structure of this poem for its variation and inclusion of gentle rhyme which added to the impact of it. If only these words were the edict of the many, our lives would be so much easier. Well said!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your free verse poem--with some well-placed nonpatterned rhymes--
is creatively-composed and thoughtful, conveying a powerful message about the unfairness in the world. The fault with some prejudiced people is that they don't see how they are--or just won't admit it. I have Christian friends who are racist. They won't admit it; they know racism is based on hate, and Christians don't like to admit they HATE!
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Your free verse poem--with some well-placed nonpatterned rhymes--
is creatively-composed and thoughtful, conveying a powerful message about the unfairness in the world. The fault with some prejudiced people is that they don't see how they are--or just won't admit it. I have Christian friends who are racist. They won't admit it; they know racism is based on hate, and Christians don't like to admit they HATE!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I like the positive point of view of your poem. We don't like to be divided but united. We are on country under God. We have seen too much division the last four years. Sad!
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I like the positive point of view of your poem. We don't like to be divided but united. We are on country under God. We have seen too much division the last four years. Sad!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Clever title--spot-on observations on a all-too-timely theme. My sentiments exactly. Interesting combo of prose and rhyme in this free verse presentation.
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Clever title--spot-on observations on a all-too-timely theme. My sentiments exactly. Interesting combo of prose and rhyme in this free verse presentation.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020