Little ones
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Revival of the Red"5/7/5 poems
243 total reviews
Comment from JRaeVaughn
I'm impartial regarding a lot of alliteration in short Japanese form and wonder what traditionalists would say, however, I enjoyed the metaphor in "leech-vampire and life liquor-blood." Also, resurrection is an interesting analogy of the walking dead. Good luck in the contest. JR
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
I'm impartial regarding a lot of alliteration in short Japanese form and wonder what traditionalists would say, however, I enjoyed the metaphor in "leech-vampire and life liquor-blood." Also, resurrection is an interesting analogy of the walking dead. Good luck in the contest. JR
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
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My pleasure.
Comment from Bryana
WOW! I'm afraid of these creatures. Your poem is well written and follows the rules for this type of poetry. Also you said a lot in those three lines. Excellent.
Have a nice week.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
WOW! I'm afraid of these creatures. Your poem is well written and follows the rules for this type of poetry. Also you said a lot in those three lines. Excellent.
Have a nice week.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Selina Stambi
Oh, goodness, what images you evoke with a few nicely chosen words.
I would have never thought of them as leeches ... but that's exactly what they are!
Nicely done, Anupam. All the best in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Oh, goodness, what images you evoke with a few nicely chosen words.
I would have never thought of them as leeches ... but that's exactly what they are!
Nicely done, Anupam. All the best in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Oh grisly, but a good 5-7-5 for the competition. I like your likening vampires to leeches. Good alliteration throughout. Rave resurrection is a good line. You express in two words a vampires need for blood to stay alive. Good luck in the competition. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Oh grisly, but a good 5-7-5 for the competition. I like your likening vampires to leeches. Good alliteration throughout. Rave resurrection is a good line. You express in two words a vampires need for blood to stay alive. Good luck in the competition. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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I appreciate your thoughts.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Louise Michelle
Yes indeed, the vampire is such an interesting creation. I don't think I'd go so far as to say they gift reincarnation because those poor souls are doomed to eternal life of angst. Lou
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Yes indeed, the vampire is such an interesting creation. I don't think I'd go so far as to say they gift reincarnation because those poor souls are doomed to eternal life of angst. Lou
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from judiverse
You have a great title for this, "Revival of the Red." Your 5-7-5 syllable count is perfect. I like your alliteration, but might turn the first line to read "lusty leeches lurk." The description of the vampire's actions "love luminal life-liquor is great. Very powerful presentation, and best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
You have a great title for this, "Revival of the Red." Your 5-7-5 syllable count is perfect. I like your alliteration, but might turn the first line to read "lusty leeches lurk." The description of the vampire's actions "love luminal life-liquor is great. Very powerful presentation, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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I appreciate your words.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
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You're so welcome, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Love the alliterations in all lines and the thought behind the work. You write with old knowledge even though you are so young. It's impressive. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Love the alliterations in all lines and the thought behind the work. You write with old knowledge even though you are so young. It's impressive. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from pattipac
Your perfect artwork selection segues directly into your well worded 5-7-5 poem. Your use of alliteration throughout gives life to your poem. Especially like,"love luminal life-liquor" in reference to blood.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Your perfect artwork selection segues directly into your well worded 5-7-5 poem. Your use of alliteration throughout gives life to your poem. Especially like,"love luminal life-liquor" in reference to blood.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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I apprecitae your words and thoughts.it means a lot.Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Steve Pantazis
Those lusty leeches have captured our imaginations for centuries. Your ode to the lovers of liquity red enlivened my morning. Now that I have dined on your haiku, I can sleep in my crypt undisturbed.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Those lusty leeches have captured our imaginations for centuries. Your ode to the lovers of liquity red enlivened my morning. Now that I have dined on your haiku, I can sleep in my crypt undisturbed.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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That's a very nice review.
Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)
Comment from Treischel
Wow! Impressive alliteration, especially on the letter L. That word, rave, seems out of place to me. How about Rude Resurrection, or Rare resurrection, or best yet Red Resurrection,
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
Wow! Impressive alliteration, especially on the letter L. That word, rave, seems out of place to me. How about Rude Resurrection, or Rare resurrection, or best yet Red Resurrection,
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thanks for your kind words and excellent review:-)