Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Anna's Attempted Escape"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
15 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is such a scary story because it rings so true and it makes me so sad to realize there are so many children who have to endure such horrible treatment and become so imprisoned by sexual predators who are men that most of the world respects.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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This is such a scary story because it rings so true and it makes me so sad to realize there are so many children who have to endure such horrible treatment and become so imprisoned by sexual predators who are men that most of the world respects.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for your kind review, and all your support. It's heartbreaking to know poor, innocent babies have to face this horror every day while we unknowingly praise, often admire their abusers.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Yoiu grab me and hopefully the other readers right off with this description: "empty darkness coursing through her veins. " I also got the goosies immediately. Powerful energy coming from your writing.
this has a great back story. Good opportunity for education of the masses too. You bring the reader closer to the character. Good move. A great image: "the morning air is so crisp, so clean that I feel like I'm in a dream. " The reader is left with the doubt that she's going to make it in time. But we like the birds re cheering her on. Excellent.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Yoiu grab me and hopefully the other readers right off with this description: "empty darkness coursing through her veins. " I also got the goosies immediately. Powerful energy coming from your writing.
this has a great back story. Good opportunity for education of the masses too. You bring the reader closer to the character. Good move. A great image: "the morning air is so crisp, so clean that I feel like I'm in a dream. " The reader is left with the doubt that she's going to make it in time. But we like the birds re cheering her on. Excellent.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for such a positive review. I'm so glad I can continue to move you, make you have empathy for poor Anna. I'm hoping to stir people, get them to take action, maybe reach out to a troubled child before it's too late.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means so much to me, take care.
Ps. do you know how to fix sticky keys? My t either doesn't work or doubles and it's driving me nuts.
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on a computer the keys can pop off & back on. I, from time check the gook under the keys.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What a wonderful piece of writing. Trafficking is very much alive in Thailand. Most of the girls end up as AIDS victims. We do have shelters for these victims.
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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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What a wonderful piece of writing. Trafficking is very much alive in Thailand. Most of the girls end up as AIDS victims. We do have shelters for these victims.
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Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your encouraging review. It's a shame the poor girls end up that way.
Thank you again for all your help, support encouragement, and friendship. It means so much to me, take care.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Ulla
Oh, Misty, I hope against hope that she'll make it. She is so close, but you leaves us hanging. I'll have to wait for the next chapter. It is so very well written. A chill went through me as I read along. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Oh, Misty, I hope against hope that she'll make it. She is so close, but you leaves us hanging. I'll have to wait for the next chapter. It is so very well written. A chill went through me as I read along. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it that it seemed so real to you.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from robyn corum
MD,
A horrible, fascinating description of what some kids face. It's just baffling that these people deal in human-commodities and feel no regret or concern... Who ARE these people?
Notes:
1.) sure the fallen victim(s') deaths (weren't) in vain.
2.) Those who'(ve) been abused,
3.) who crave attention (and) acceptance (are) in danger(,) too.
4.) A portion of them (are) lured into the life with promises
5.) with different men if they want higher-paying gigs."
--> since she is still speaking, lose the quotation mark at the end of this paragraph, please
--> same in the following situations
--> when a person speaks over the course of several paragraphs, leave off the quote mark at the end of a paragraph, and make sure to ADD one at the beginning of the following paragraph - this indicates the same person is still speaking.
6.) "My handler (was)? a gorilla pimp.
7.) I slip(ped) on the nearest piece of clothes, a pink-lace nighty, and quietly slip(ped) out the back.
--> but you've used 'slip' x2
8.) obligated to notify the authorities if they suspect(ed) anything."
9.) The sun (was) bright, the sky (was) a beautiful clear baby blue.
--> correct so that all the old stuff is told in past tense
Thanks and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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MD,
A horrible, fascinating description of what some kids face. It's just baffling that these people deal in human-commodities and feel no regret or concern... Who ARE these people?
Notes:
1.) sure the fallen victim(s') deaths (weren't) in vain.
2.) Those who'(ve) been abused,
3.) who crave attention (and) acceptance (are) in danger(,) too.
4.) A portion of them (are) lured into the life with promises
5.) with different men if they want higher-paying gigs."
--> since she is still speaking, lose the quotation mark at the end of this paragraph, please
--> same in the following situations
--> when a person speaks over the course of several paragraphs, leave off the quote mark at the end of a paragraph, and make sure to ADD one at the beginning of the following paragraph - this indicates the same person is still speaking.
6.) "My handler (was)? a gorilla pimp.
7.) I slip(ped) on the nearest piece of clothes, a pink-lace nighty, and quietly slip(ped) out the back.
--> but you've used 'slip' x2
8.) obligated to notify the authorities if they suspect(ed) anything."
9.) The sun (was) bright, the sky (was) a beautiful clear baby blue.
--> correct so that all the old stuff is told in past tense
Thanks and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for catching my mistakes. What I was trying to do, but failed was to take the reader back to that time, show, not tell. Guess I need to work on it, make my intentions clearer.
Thank you again for all your help, it's always greatly appreciated. It's how I learn and grow as a writer, take care.
