American Slums
2/4/6 poem15 total reviews
Comment from stephybs
Strong and truthful, sad and and known. Your word's paint a picture and could make a teardrop fall. Lovely piece says it all with art work too. Good luck
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
  |
Strong and truthful, sad and and known. Your word's paint a picture and could make a teardrop fall. Lovely piece says it all with art work too. Good luck
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
-
Hello friend, I thank you for your visit and the insights.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 2-4-6, In The, has the right set up and gives a black eye to America whose poor have more money and benefits than the middle class of other countries. Wish we could all be better off.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
|
This 2-4-6, In The, has the right set up and gives a black eye to America whose poor have more money and benefits than the middle class of other countries. Wish we could all be better off.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
-
Hello Bill, I appreciate your visit and the kind review; thank you.
Comment from Kermit R. Mullins
Best of luck with your "2-4-6" contest entry. the content is a great expression of society in general. It seems your title is the start of the poem rather than a description or anticipation of whats to follow. "In The" does not represent or give insight to the body of work. That's why the 4. If there was a title, I would consider a change in rating. Best regards.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
 |
Best of luck with your "2-4-6" contest entry. the content is a great expression of society in general. It seems your title is the start of the poem rather than a description or anticipation of whats to follow. "In The" does not represent or give insight to the body of work. That's why the 4. If there was a title, I would consider a change in rating. Best regards.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
-
Hello friend, I appreciate your time and the constructive comments; you are right; however, since the time's up for the contest, I don't think that I can make any changes; I thank you.
Comment from Karen Estep
This is a well written poem. You conveyed a big message in twelve syllables! I like your choice of graphic, it fits your writing well. You may try a more bold font.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
|
This is a well written poem. You conveyed a big message in twelve syllables! I like your choice of graphic, it fits your writing well. You may try a more bold font.
Good luck!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
-
Hello Karen, I am glad you like the poem; appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you.
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
It is a 2-4-6 poem. It has also three lines, the syllable count is alright, but...the three lines do not rhyme. When I look at the contest conditions, the rhyming of all three lines was required. I like the subject, the overpowering slums and poverty, but can't give more than 4 stars.
This is a great solution! I am sorry I didn't come around it yesterday evening, but what I see now is worth a star more (don't have sixes left). I hope you win. Good luck!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
|
It is a 2-4-6 poem. It has also three lines, the syllable count is alright, but...the three lines do not rhyme. When I look at the contest conditions, the rhyming of all three lines was required. I like the subject, the overpowering slums and poverty, but can't give more than 4 stars.
This is a great solution! I am sorry I didn't come around it yesterday evening, but what I see now is worth a star more (don't have sixes left). I hope you win. Good luck!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2020
-
Marjon my friend, I agree with you, I messed up and didn't read the rules well; I don't think that I can make any changes now, as the time is up; I thank you for your visit and the constructive review; please take care.
-
Next time better! I liked the idea nevertheless.
Welcome to the review.
-
I am correcting it now, I'd appreciate a second look in about 15 minutes, if you have the time; thank you very much.
-
I'll look!