St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "St. Louis Chapter 33 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
16 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Wow! What a deep, detailed chapter this was. Looking so much to the solution and Logan and Mac tying the knot. One spag in chapter and two in Author notes. I'll return (later)this [late this] ... In your Author Notes....PLEASE P[L](R)AY FOR THE OPENING UP OF THE SCHOOLS. THERE'S (N)O[N] RIGHT ANSWER RIGHT NOW.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Wow! What a deep, detailed chapter this was. Looking so much to the solution and Logan and Mac tying the knot. One spag in chapter and two in Author notes. I'll return (later)this [late this] ... In your Author Notes....PLEASE P[L](R)AY FOR THE OPENING UP OF THE SCHOOLS. THERE'S (N)O[N] RIGHT ANSWER RIGHT NOW.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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I will make those corrections. Thank you for the catches and the kind review.
Comment from elchupakabra
"No! The more time we give that rat, the more innocent people he'll hurt. He knows we're on to 'im. He had Mac drugged and her house bugged. He blew up your car, Jose was shot, Mac was kidnapped. I was shot at while my sister was cremated! Enough, we can't keep adding to the list... He knows Smart's missing, the more time we give him the more time he has to destroy evidence. He needs to be arrested, now."
It doesn't seem like much, but these minor changes in punctuation and in other parts of the dialogue as well could be changed up a little bit just to help separate it from the prose. That's the only thing I have to comment on and even then it's minor, otherwise I really like the chapter. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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"No! The more time we give that rat, the more innocent people he'll hurt. He knows we're on to 'im. He had Mac drugged and her house bugged. He blew up your car, Jose was shot, Mac was kidnapped. I was shot at while my sister was cremated! Enough, we can't keep adding to the list... He knows Smart's missing, the more time we give him the more time he has to destroy evidence. He needs to be arrested, now."
It doesn't seem like much, but these minor changes in punctuation and in other parts of the dialogue as well could be changed up a little bit just to help separate it from the prose. That's the only thing I have to comment on and even then it's minor, otherwise I really like the chapter. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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I will recheck that area. Thank you for the suggestions.
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. I'm thinking there no way McKenzie will stop now. But, now as if it wasn't already, personal. Another well written chapter.
notes:
If you need anything, call the nurse. I'll return (this) late this afternoon and check."
- suggest deleting this word.
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Very interesting. I'm thinking there no way McKenzie will stop now. But, now as if it wasn't already, personal. Another well written chapter.
notes:
If you need anything, call the nurse. I'll return (this) late this afternoon and check."
- suggest deleting this word.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Those dogs in the picture are adorable. It sounds like Mac is wanting to get back on the job, although she's still not well enough to leave the hospital. Also, she'd probably be in once she's outside. I have a sneaking suspicion that Parks isn't the main biggie. To me, that would be a little too obvious. It's a nice gesture on the part of Logan's parents to want to give her the payment and see the investigation end, but no way it Mac going to do that. It's a good thing she has all that support with her. It's such a relief to read something exciting rather than poems about clouds or butterflies. Great work. I hope the opening of the school goes well for you. I'm still amazed you're not retiring, as you're entitled! judi
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Those dogs in the picture are adorable. It sounds like Mac is wanting to get back on the job, although she's still not well enough to leave the hospital. Also, she'd probably be in once she's outside. I have a sneaking suspicion that Parks isn't the main biggie. To me, that would be a little too obvious. It's a nice gesture on the part of Logan's parents to want to give her the payment and see the investigation end, but no way it Mac going to do that. It's a good thing she has all that support with her. It's such a relief to read something exciting rather than poems about clouds or butterflies. Great work. I hope the opening of the school goes well for you. I'm still amazed you're not retiring, as you're entitled! judi
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is an emotional chapter and I liked it a lot as I've done the whole story. I'm sorry that it's ending after five more chapters. I do hope you have another story lined up.
"I see you're well taken care. = "I see you're well taken care of.
All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Hi Barbara, this is an emotional chapter and I liked it a lot as I've done the whole story. I'm sorry that it's ending after five more chapters. I do hope you have another story lined up.
"I see you're well taken care. = "I see you're well taken care of.
All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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I will fix that. Thank you for the catch. I have another novel almost finished. I'm ready to start posting another story, although different.
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Great, I'm looking forward to that!!!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderfully written story that I have enjoyed immensely. Your characters are lively and very real. I keep forgetting I am reading fiction. Well done!
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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This is a wonderfully written story that I have enjoyed immensely. Your characters are lively and very real. I keep forgetting I am reading fiction. Well done!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You're welcome.
