Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Hurricane Survivor"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
20 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Well that's a good thing the hurricane didn't tear everything to the ground.
Excellent imagery, June and I will check out the other chapters to see how the story has progressed.
This sounds like a most cool idea. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Well that's a good thing the hurricane didn't tear everything to the ground.
Excellent imagery, June and I will check out the other chapters to see how the story has progressed.
This sounds like a most cool idea. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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It?s really quite fun! I want to see where everyone?s muse leads them. Thanks for reading my contribution!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I learned that bird feathers are waterproof, but they do tend to take shelter when it rains and then they can eat a juicy ripe berry freshly washed, I enjoyed your words June, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I learned that bird feathers are waterproof, but they do tend to take shelter when it rains and then they can eat a juicy ripe berry freshly washed, I enjoyed your words June, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts on this piece. I appreciate it!
Comment from lyenochka
I like your response to Gypsy's poem and then Pam followed it up to a new 5-7-5! Very cool. I like how your poem transitioned us from the storm to the ripening berries and birds waiting to enjoy.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I like your response to Gypsy's poem and then Pam followed it up to a new 5-7-5! Very cool. I like how your poem transitioned us from the storm to the ripening berries and birds waiting to enjoy.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts on this piece. I appreciate it!
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
I like this 7-7- to complete a renga. Storm clouds flee as new day dawns is a very beautiful line, having a lovely turn in berries ripen and birds wait.
It feels as if it is a sequence to my haiku from some time ago:
storm is a loud cry
from heaven. God's love refused
ungrateful black earth
But I like yours better! The berries and birds are more springtime!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I like this 7-7- to complete a renga. Storm clouds flee as new day dawns is a very beautiful line, having a lovely turn in berries ripen and birds wait.
It feels as if it is a sequence to my haiku from some time ago:
storm is a loud cry
from heaven. God's love refused
ungrateful black earth
But I like yours better! The berries and birds are more springtime!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts on this piece. I appreciate it!
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Welcome!
Comment from Cindy Decker
June,
You've written a very lovely couplet about the recovery of a physical storm. I believe your words can also pertain to a mental or spiritual crisis from which a person has recovered.
I love your choice of words and your image of the calm after the storm, and birds waiting patiently for their reward.
Excellent writing.
Best Wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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June,
You've written a very lovely couplet about the recovery of a physical storm. I believe your words can also pertain to a mental or spiritual crisis from which a person has recovered.
I love your choice of words and your image of the calm after the storm, and birds waiting patiently for their reward.
Excellent writing.
Best Wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts on this piece. I appreciate it!
Comment from karenina
First, what a neat idea I didn't even know was possible! This "I start and you add to it" feature. Second--you SCORED with this 7/7--which flows beautifully from Gypsy Rose's 5/7/5! I'm thinking about attempting to join in, but lack confidence in m ability to pare down a continuing passage to the bare essential... YOU, however--you've done it swimmingly!--Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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First, what a neat idea I didn't even know was possible! This "I start and you add to it" feature. Second--you SCORED with this 7/7--which flows beautifully from Gypsy Rose's 5/7/5! I'm thinking about attempting to join in, but lack confidence in m ability to pare down a continuing passage to the bare essential... YOU, however--you've done it swimmingly!--Karenina
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Try it! I was hesitant at first, but it?s quite easy and natural if you just stop thinking and just feel...
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I'm "musing" right now--amazing how hard it is to clear the mind and allow the vision to appear!--Karenina
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hurricane Survivor
by June Sargent
Hello, June,
Beautiful chapter for our renga book. It's a perfect fit for a second chapter. Your couplet relates to the storm and is rich in imagery. Well done! Thank you very much for contributing to our book.
Hugs
Gypsy
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Hurricane Survivor
by June Sargent
Hello, June,
Beautiful chapter for our renga book. It's a perfect fit for a second chapter. Your couplet relates to the storm and is rich in imagery. Well done! Thank you very much for contributing to our book.
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I am so happy it worked for you! Will check from time to time to see if I can contribute more...
Comment from Lobber
Hi there,
You're right and wise to focus on the positive facts, i.e., that not all things stop or get destroyed by a single hurricane. Berries yell, Bring It On!
- Lobber
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Hi there,
You're right and wise to focus on the positive facts, i.e., that not all things stop or get destroyed by a single hurricane. Berries yell, Bring It On!
- Lobber
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts on this piece. I appreciate it!
Comment from Sally Law
Beautifully penned and illustrated, dear June. A fine chapter for the book and so uniquely you. I've been through many hurricanes!
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Beautifully penned and illustrated, dear June. A fine chapter for the book and so uniquely you. I've been through many hurricanes!
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thank you for your encouraging feedback!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and
presentation, June.
-A very well written couplet
that follows the haiku very well.
-Very good imagery and use
of alliteration.
-Good description of the new
day and the berries and birds.
-Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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-Nice artwork and
presentation, June.
-A very well written couplet
that follows the haiku very well.
-Very good imagery and use
of alliteration.
-Good description of the new
day and the berries and birds.
-Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Wasn't sure about adding to someone else's book - but I thought the couplet did fit in with the original haiku somewhat. Thank you for the positive feedback!
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You are very welcome, June. You did a great job. It sounds like a good idea.