A Mother's Warning
75-word Flash28 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
... I'm thinking his honesty lost him more than it won... Obviously the last paragraph is not what anyone was expecting. (and to pair it with Jimmy Stewart - no way he would ever say this!) Can't say I really like this - but I see many did. ;P
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... I'm thinking his honesty lost him more than it won... Obviously the last paragraph is not what anyone was expecting. (and to pair it with Jimmy Stewart - no way he would ever say this!) Can't say I really like this - but I see many did. ;P
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from Wabigoon
Lancellot--
I like this but...what? It's a bad joke? I don't know. Maybe it would be more to my "taste" if Martin just muttered this to himself, thought it? As it is he is blowing his relationship in a sloppy fashion. Yes?
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Lancellot--
I like this but...what? It's a bad joke? I don't know. Maybe it would be more to my "taste" if Martin just muttered this to himself, thought it? As it is he is blowing his relationship in a sloppy fashion. Yes?
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you. not a joke, honesty. I have found women (mostly ,but not all) prefer when a guy is straight with them about what they want. They are more likely to do it, because, they now know what makes their man happy.
Comment from humpwhistle
Hey, I don't remember that dialogue from The Philadelphia Story. Jimmy Stewart, we hardly knew ye!
Well, that ending certainly caught me by surprise.
"Debbie," he gently lifted her face and gazed into glistening hazel eyes, "your mother was wrong."--I'm not positive about this, Lance, but I think the punctuation may be wrong for the tag. I've always believed action tags are punctuated differently from speech tags.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Hey, I don't remember that dialogue from The Philadelphia Story. Jimmy Stewart, we hardly knew ye!
Well, that ending certainly caught me by surprise.
"Debbie," he gently lifted her face and gazed into glistening hazel eyes, "your mother was wrong."--I'm not positive about this, Lance, but I think the punctuation may be wrong for the tag. I've always believed action tags are punctuated differently from speech tags.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you. I think you are correct.
Comment from sibhus
This is such a riot. I suspected some kind of twist to the ending, but this is awesome. I have entry in this contest, but it can't compete with this, I'm not worthy. A really funny bit of flash. I would wish you good luck, but I don't think you'll need it.
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This is such a riot. I suspected some kind of twist to the ending, but this is awesome. I have entry in this contest, but it can't compete with this, I'm not worthy. A really funny bit of flash. I would wish you good luck, but I don't think you'll need it.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from Ulla
Oh, my word, you have me laughing out loud. Your words up against the innocence of the day just made me laugh. I won't say I care much for the graphic stuff, but I admire your courage to say the truth. It's well written, and good luck. Ulla:)))
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Oh, my word, you have me laughing out loud. Your words up against the innocence of the day just made me laugh. I won't say I care much for the graphic stuff, but I admire your courage to say the truth. It's well written, and good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my gosh. Irreverent though it might be, it was enormously funny. Yes, indeed, that's what's on men's minds. Thanks for confirming for all women everywhere.
On the technical side, it's very well written flash fiction.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Oh my gosh. Irreverent though it might be, it was enormously funny. Yes, indeed, that's what's on men's minds. Thanks for confirming for all women everywhere.
On the technical side, it's very well written flash fiction.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Next in a million years expected this ending. Interesting twist. Your contest entry is very well written and kept the reader engaged. I'm not sure how you said so much in such a few words. Good luck with the contest.
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Next in a million years expected this ending. Interesting twist. Your contest entry is very well written and kept the reader engaged. I'm not sure how you said so much in such a few words. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from judiverse
Funny stuff! That's what my mother told me, but that was back in the Dark Ages. Now it's all about safe sex. Do I see you Jimmy Stewart and Kathryn Hepburn in the picture? Surprise ending. I hope she slapped him his presumptuous face and told him to buzz off. Advice to Martin: Try a more subtle approach. Best of luck in the contest. This has all the ingredients--clear characterization, story line, and surprise. judi
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Funny stuff! That's what my mother told me, but that was back in the Dark Ages. Now it's all about safe sex. Do I see you Jimmy Stewart and Kathryn Hepburn in the picture? Surprise ending. I hope she slapped him his presumptuous face and told him to buzz off. Advice to Martin: Try a more subtle approach. Best of luck in the contest. This has all the ingredients--clear characterization, story line, and surprise. judi
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm just wondering how relieved she is, or isn't, that someone finally told her the whole truth. LOL. Of course, if Debbie is delighted with her newfound knowledge, I'm sure her mom is ready and willing. Thanks for sharing.
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I'm just wondering how relieved she is, or isn't, that someone finally told her the whole truth. LOL. Of course, if Debbie is delighted with her newfound knowledge, I'm sure her mom is ready and willing. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020