Comment from Amanda Louise Davis

Excellent

This is a lovely free vese poem. I appreciate this poem. I would break it up a bit differently so the last line isn't alone, but that's just a personal preference thing. You still did great.

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 Comment Written 29-May-2020

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reply by the author on 30-May-2020

Amamnda, thank you for your review.

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

I love the atmopsheric tone and tenor of this. Love the simple but powerful closing note of the single word BLISS.


Love the opening:

At dawn
silence has a voice,
swirls of mist subdue all colors.


Line two is exquisite! And great medley of S plus cousin sound soft C. Sounds super read aloud, and with a fine counterpoint of L sounds to balance it.

A few spag suggestions:

*
Along fog(GY) paths

*
songs in the head,(NO COMMA)
promise peace and daydreams.

*
Oh(,) don't wake up, let's dwell a little longer---
wisdom of nature, vast and expansive(,)
brings forth life in myriad ways.


I enjoyed this. Nice title. Fine presentation.

Well done!
Warmly,
rd


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 Comment Written 29-May-2020

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reply by the author on 30-May-2020

Thank you for the review and the appreciated suggestions.

reply by rama devi on 30-May-2020

Thanks so much for your gracious response!

Warm Smiles,
rd

reply by the author on 30-May-2020

More than welcome!